


Smile and Wave at Close of Day

by Banach_Tarski



Series: M-Theory [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alien Technology, Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Fake AH Crew, Physics, Science, Violence, gta v - Freeform, minor appearances from other people at Rooster Teeth, string theory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2018-09-15 10:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 79,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9231125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banach_Tarski/pseuds/Banach_Tarski
Summary: "There are whispers and stories about criminals doing impossible things. Snipers shooting through windows but leaving the glass unbroken. Assassins appearing out of nowhere. Bank robbers taking ten shots to the chest and holding their ground.”The Fake AH Crew are the ruling crew in Los Santos- but other crews and trouble from across the ocean are making them fight for it. Combine that with barely understood alien technology and a stranger always one step ahead of them, and the Fakes can barely keep their heads above water.There's no second chances outside of Zancudo. One wrong move will ruin everything they fought so hard for."First this guy saves our lives, then he robs me?" Geoff said. "I don’t know whether I want to hug him or put a bullet in his head.”





	1. Good Things Come in Small Packages

_Geoff looked up from the dining room table when he heard footsteps and an odd rolling sound. Ray came around the corner, a duffel bag over his shoulder and a suitcase trundling over the hard wood floor._

_The gentle smile on Geoff’s face disappeared._

_“Ray, are you”-_

_“Yeah, um.” Ray replied. “Yeah.”_

_Geoff got out of his chair so fast it skidded across the wood and fell over._

_“You were just going to walk out of here without telling anyone?”_

_“I thought it might be… easier.”_

_Geoff sighed. “You can’t make this any easier, Ray.”_

******* 

 

The Mile High Club skyscraper was set to be the tallest building in Los Santos- except it would never be finished. Instead, it hung in a sort of purgatory while government officials and public personalities argued over the space. The skyscraper occupied prime real estate in Downtown Los Santos, but nothing could be done about it until the owner decided to sell it or their lease ran out. Considering the owner, the Corpirate, managed to get his throat slit nine months ago, Gavin was quite sure the city planners would have to wait for the second option.

In the meantime, the abandoned building became a run down, homeless hot spot. Much of the spare building materials, the copper wiring, and building equipment had been stolen, but there were a select few areas that had remained untouched. These areas- the architect’s office and the building supervisor’s storage box were why Gavin was there. There might be some information his crew could use, whether it concerned the pieces the Corpirate left behind, his research into the alien technology, or The Inconvenience’s location, it didn’t matter.

Nine months later they would take whatever they could get.

Geoff had been extraordinarily busy after Arcadius fell. Word had to get around that the Lads and Gents had struck a deal and formed the Fake AH Crew, other alliances had to be redrawn or scrapped altogether, and the fallout from Arcadius had to be contained. They’d all worked themselves to the bone ensuring Geoff stayed in power. It took six months for everything to settle down, and the six of them had found a comfortable groove in that time.

It was six months of bliss. The heists, the money, the deals, the Fakes were known to every person in Los Santos- and Gavin loved it. Even now, he couldn’t help but grin when he thought about it. Everything was perfect. They were unstoppable.

Then Ray left.

And it still hurt- something deep and sharp and threatening to tear him apart. Hell, it almost tore the Fakes apart, but they were stronger than that. After everything they’d been through, there was nothing they couldn’t bounce back from.

The five of them could be enough.

Didn’t mean Gavin couldn’t think of him every single day anyway. He shook his head, trying to clear Ray from his thoughts.

His grin long gone, Gavin focused back on what he was doing. The architect’s laptop sat in front of him, and he plugged his USB into one of the ports. It would take about a minute for it to run through the list of potential passwords; Gavin had found a couple of photos and a few important files to get a clear idea of where to start. He’d also updated the program since he’d last used it in Zancudo so it was even faster than before.

“Going okay?” Michael called from another room. They didn’t have to worry too much about being quiet or stealthy- the police were occupied protecting some foreign royalty that had decided to visit. It was one of the reasons they’d put off this job until tonight, when no one would bother them.

“It’s going pretty smooth.” Gavin replied. “You find anything over there?”

“Not yet. Vagabond?”

“Nada. Just employee complaint forms. Of which there are a _lot_.”

Michael snickered.

Thirty seconds later the laptop unlocked and Gavin began exploring. Most of the information on it was useless- personal emails, banking info, a disappointingly small and vanilla porn collection, but eventually he came across the files relating to the skyscraper.

“Guys,” Gavin said, putting on his sunglasses. It was almost midnight. “I’m in.”

Gavin couldn’t see him, but he was sure Ryan was rolling his eyes.

Michael and Ryan stood beside him as he scrolled through the data, Ryan’s hand providing a solid warmth on his shoulder. He also pulled the sunglasses off Gavin’s face and tucked them in Gavin’s shirt, where they dangled over the buttons of the collared shirt.

Michael pointed at the laptop, his finger leaving a smudged mark on the screen.

“What’s that?”

“Dunno.” Gavin said. “I’m not an expert at reading floorplans. Maybe the Corpirate was going to have an underground kitchen? He liked fancy stuff like that.”

“No, look.” Ryan said. “Those cylinders. They can only be pellet storage containers, right? I think that’s a big cold storage room for them. If they could be stored separately the Corpirate could take a closer look at the container.”

Michael nodded. “Well, his scientists at least.”

Gavin opened a couple of other plans.

“You think he was building a new set of labs under the Mile High Club?”

“Maybe.” Ryan answered. “We’ve been over the Arcadius blueprints probably a hundred times by now. The facilities there weren’t great.”

Gavin had spent days looking over every scrap of information they had on the Corpirate, looking for The Inconvenience. Occasionally Michael and Jack would join him, and fill him in on any extra details they remembered from their time under Arcadius.

Usually the result of that activity was the blueprints thrown in the bin and a hole punched in the wall, so Gavin mostly chose to do his own research. The Corpirate had been a careful and conservative man, so there wasn’t much to find. Even with Ryan’s help, there was very little to go on. Suspiciously little.

But now that things had quietened down in Los Santos, they could do some serious field work. Pretty much everyone associated with the Corpirate was either dead or had fled the island, so all they had left to go on were the shells and scattered remains of the Corpirate’s businesses.

“Do you think he would have started moving stuff over here?” Michael asked. “We should go down to the labs and find out!”

“Eh, probably not.” Ryan said. “The building’s still pretty unfinished. I don’t think they even started excavating the labs before everything was shut down, these plans look like first drafts.”

“Are you sure? I think I have a torch in my bag somewhere”-

-“I am _not_ exploring some creepy, abandoned laboratory,” Gavin said, shooting Michael a look, “thank you very much. And stop looking so disappointed, Vagabond.”

“You can’t see my face.”

“I can sense it.”

They looked at a few more files before Gavin finally shut the laptop with a frown.

“There’s nothing else useful on this. Can we go to the supervisor’s box now?”

They locked the architect’s office behind them, just in case they needed to come back, and made their way to a half-finished staircase.  They followed it up a few floors until they ran out of stairs, and then climbed a ladder.

Once Gavin climbed over the lip of the next level, he felt the soft breeze pick up into something stronger. They’d reached the very top of the building, the only thing in between them and the sky were a few steel support beams. The city seemed to shift and sway below him, and Gavin held on to one of the beams when he realised it was the tower, not the city.

There were still a few work tools and pieces of equipment up here- not many of the tower’s residents had been brave enough to venture this high. Near the edge of the building, a large steel crate sat wedged between two of the support beams. Clearly someone had tried to drag it to the edge to throw off but it got stuck, and it hadn’t been worth the effort to get unstuck.

Ryan knelt down next to the box and pulled out Jack’s lock picking kit. Jack, like Geoff, was too busy tonight to come out so he’d trusted Ryan with his kit. Ryan knew the basics of lock picking and had opened a few locks in his time, but he was no expert like Jack. Fortunately a supervisor’s storage box was not expected to prove much of a challenge for him.

While Ryan worked on the lock, Michael and Gavin wandered a bit further away from the edge and admired the city from another angle.

It was a pretty good view. Gavin got distracted pretty quickly by Michael’s very warm arm wrapped around his waist. He rested his head against Michael’s shoulder.

A few minutes later the lock clicked open and they broke apart.

“Fucking finally.” Michael said.

“Hey, I’d like to see you try better.” Ryan retorted, putting the tools away. “You can’t just karate-kick every problem you come across. Sometimes you need some finesse.”

“Fuck you, my karate-kicks are works of art.”

Ryan sighed, and opened the lid. He pulled out a stack of papers and looked them over.

“It’s all just supervisor stuff in here. These people didn’t know shit about shit.”

Gavin and Michael rooted around in the box as well. The papers were just physical copies of the online plans they’d seen in the architect’s office. At the bottom of the box was a tool kit, but it only held regular tools.

So the entire night was pretty much a bust.

“No, wait.” Michael said. “Look at this.” He picked up an item from the tool kit, a drill bit, and attached it to a cordless drill. He whirred the drill a few times and then pressed it firmly to the side of the box.

“Is this an electrician thing?” Ryan asked. “Because I don’t quite get”-

“Shut up and look.” Michael said. He pointed to where the drill had made contact with the box. “What do you see?”

“Uh, not much? It’s night time.”

Something clicked in Gavin’s brain.

“Oh Michael, that’s clever! That drill didn’t leave a mark there or anything. Is it made of alien metal?”

“I think so. How did this random supervisor get a box made out of it though?”

Ryan closed the lid and stood up.

“I think the supervisor had a long history with the Corpirate. Maybe it was a gift, or a bribe to keep her from mentioning the building violations to anyone. I’m fairly certain it’s against the law to build a giant research lab in a commercial district.”

“We should probably take it with us, then.” Michael said. “I wouldn’t mind taking the metal and putting it to good use. Or getting Marcus to. He did a great job with the metal from the Corpirate’s helicopter.”

Ryan took a pointed step closer to the edge of the building.

“You _do_ know how high up we are. I don’t want to carry this thing down who knows how many flights of stairs.”

Michael shrugged.

“Well guys,” Gavin said, a bit of a grin on his face, “That box is probably the sturdiest box on the planet. Why don’t we finish what the hooligans started?”

“You mean knock it over the edge?” Michael asked.

Gavin nodded.

Michael shrugged again. “Sounds good to me. Vagabond, help me get the box unstuck.”

Michael and Ryan dragged the box across the level while Gavin cleared a path. Once it had been dragged to the edge Michael gave it a solid kick, and it tumbled over and disappeared into the darkness.

About eight seconds later, a soft crash rose from the gloom.

“Nice.” Ryan said.

Michael grinned at him. “See that? Art.”

They climbed down the tower.

At the bottom, sitting in a shallow hole, sat the box. Apart from the lid opening and scattering the papers and tools around, the box was fine. Gavin gathered the papers before they blew away while Michael and Ryan picked up the box.

It probably wasn’t too surprising that no-one had come to check out what the noise was- it was well into the morning now and the location wasn’t the safest of places. But Gavin shoved the papers into the box and they hurried to where they’d parked the car.

The best place to leave a very expensive, custom made Roosevelt unattended in the middle of the night was underneath the Del Perro Freeway. This was a couple of blocks away from the Mile High Club and took them past the site where the Arcadius Business Centre once stood. The flow of conversation slowed to a halt when they walked past, taking in the memorial that stood in Arcadius’ place.

A fountain sat in the middle of a small circle of grass. Engraved on the fountain were the two hundred or so names listing the people who died. At this time of night the fountain was turned off and the only sounds where their footsteps and the faint hum of cars on the freeway.

Two hundred people. The Fakes probably had the highest death count in all of Los Santos. It didn’t really bother Gavin- with the amount of people he’d killed, many of them hundreds of times, the effect of such a tragedy was small. People knew what they were getting in to when they decided to live in Los Santos. It was kill or be killed, and whether it was a bullet, a ruthless business decision, or a collapsed building, people always ended up dead. Just how it worked around here.

But for Geoff and Jack, the more empathetic members of the crew, when they’d watched the news coverage of the event had been hit pretty hard. Sure, most of the victims were hired mercenaries and dumb employees, who should have left the building at the first sign of trouble, but not all of Arcadius had been dedicated to business. There was a residential section as well, with apartments. Apartments usually meant families.

All of the Fakes were killers. None of them had any illusions about the kind of people they were, what they were capable of.

Some things were still easier not to think about.

Geoff had lamented a few times, all of them with a bottle in his hand, whether the lives lost were a mistake and a lesson that they’d all had to learn, or a price for their own safety.

Gavin had never had an answer.

The silence lasted all the way back to the car, but broke when Ryan’s phone began to ring. Michael and Gavin loaded the box into the back and got into the car while Ryan talked. Once he was finished, he stepped into the front passenger seat and Michael drove away.

“It was Geoff.” Ryan said. “He said the deal went through with the Colmillo Blanco Crew.”

“Fuck yes!” Michael said, “It only took them what, five months to stop trying to kill us?”

“I think they popped up four months ago. But yeah, Geoff said to pick up a few bottles of champagne on the way back. We’re celebrating tonight, it seems.”

“So are we gonna meet with them then?” Gavin asked. “Or is it more of a temporary ceasefire sort of thing?”

“We’re going to head to one of their warehouses tomorrow. Geoff said they’re going to give us one of their boats, and they might stop doing heists in East Los Santos if we play our cards right tomorrow.”

“Might?” Gavin scoffed. “You make it sound like we’re gonna lick their boots.”

“Have faith in Geoff.” Ryan paused. “Well, have faith in Jack and his silver tongue. There’s a good chance we’ll have a new ally by the end of the week.”

“And all I have to do is stand around and look pretty.” Gavin said with a smile.

“But Gav,” Michael said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the radio, “That’s all you do anyway!”

“Shut it, Mr Curly Hair and Dimples.”

“Oooh Gavvy, be careful with that tone of yours. Don’t make me turn this car around.” Michael said in a mock-serious tone.

“Oooh Mi-cool. You’re starting to sound like Ryan.”

“I don’t sound like that!” Ryan said. “Don’t drag me into this!”

“Too late.” Michael said while shaking his head.

“That’s exactly what you sound like!” Gavin said, reaching over to tug playfully on Ryan’s ponytail. “You’re such a dad, Ryan.”

Ryan swatted his hand away. “I am in _no_ way old enough to be a dad. I’m still hip. I still got it.”

“Yeah? Say _one_ hip and trendy thing.”

Ryan floundered for a moment. “You know how, uh, white boys be like at the disco?”

Michael immediately spat all over the windshield, exploding into laughter. Gavin joined him and started wheezing, with the odd high-pitched squeak thrown in.

Gavin was sure Ryan turned bright red under the skull mask. He curled up in his seat.

“Fuck you guys, you put me on the spot.”

But his shoulders were shaking with laughter and Gavin relaxed back into his seat.

 *******

 

Ryan nudged the apartment door open with his foot, his hands full with his mask in one hand and two bottles of champagne in the other. Gavin and Michael followed him in, the box between them. Geoff and Jack stood up from the couch when they came in.

“Good timing!” Geoff called, “Pizza just got here too.”

“What’s that?” Jack asked. He peered at the box. “Alien metal?”

“A gift for the supervisor, we think.” Ryan said. He put the bottles down on the coffee table, next to the boxes of pizza.

Gavin and Michael let the box fall to the ground with a heavy _thunk_. Gavin took a moment to stretch out his arms before taking a running jump straight into Geoff. Geoff dropped the Xbox controller he’d been holding and caught him.

“Geoffrey!”

“Gavin, I saw you this morning!”

“Yeah, well. I missed you.”

“Missed you too, bud.”

Jack greeted Michael and Ryan with just as much affection before picking up Geoff’s controller and hugging the pair of them. Gavin felt sandwiched between the two larger men.

“We all here?” Jack said. “Seems like we’re only missing”-

He paused.

“We’re all here. Come on, pizza’s gonna get cold. And Geoff, you can’t keep dropping this controller. Shit costs money.”

Michael grabbed the remote and switched the TV over to Netflix.

“Newest episode of Westworld?”

“You betcha.” Jack replied. He headed towards the kitchen.

Ryan opened a box of pizza and raised an eyebrow at Geoff.

“Really? Half the pizza’s just olives, Geoff!”

“This is what happens if you let me order the pizza. I think there’s a supreme or something underneath.”

Gavin opened a bottle of champagne. He poured four glasses and distributed them. Jack came back from the kitchen with a can of diet coke, which he gave to Ryan. Ryan nodded his thanks.

“Hey Geoff,” Gavin started, swirling the champagne flute around, “Do you think you could eat an entire can of olives?”

Geoff slammed his hand down on his knee.

“In a heartbeat! As long as they’re black.”

Jack shook his head.

“Nope. No way.”

Geoff scoffed. “You bet your ass I could. How long do I have to eat the can, Gavin?”

“You don’t have to eat the can, Geoff. Just the olives.”

Geoff gave him a look.

“Fine. A minute.”

“I can do better than that. Thirty seconds.”

Ryan shook his head and laughed a little.

“Please don’t. I don’t want to deal with olive vomit when I’m eating pizza. I bet we don’t even have a can of olives.”

“You’ve got a point there. And I’d probably end up eating three and then slicing my hand on the can.”

Ryan smirked, and they clinked their drinks together.

 *******

 

“So?” Jack asked. “That’s not the important part.”

“What do you mean?” Gavin replied. “Isn’t it important to know if the supervisor and the Corpirate got along?”

“Not really. There’s something more important we know now because of the box.”

Gavin put his empty glass of champagne down. The sky was beginning to lighten and the mood in the living room was warm and kind of sleepy. Jack and Gavin talked quietly on one of the couches, their knees touching, while Geoff, Ryan, and Michael sat on another and played Halo 5.

“I don’t get it.” Gavin said. “It means the Corpirate gave thoughtful gifts?”

“Closer. But we could have figured that out without the box. What does the _box_ tell us?”

Gavin shrugged.

“It’s far too late for this sort of brain power. Or too early. I think you’re gonna have to just tell me, Jack.”

“It means the Corpirate didn’t keep all his alien tech locked up in a lab or a storage room. There might be more useful tech out there, tech that isn’t buried underneath Arcadius or in Zancudo. Tech the Corpirate gave away.”

Gavin shook his head.

“Gus has been keeping a careful eye out. He would have told us if any other crews or businesses were using alien tech.”

“He didn’t know about the supervisor’s box, did he? He’s good, but he’s not infallible.”

Gavin picked up the almost empty second bottle of champagne and poured the rest of it into his glass while Jack continued.

“Look, the important thing is, is that we can be fairly certain that more alien tech exists out there. Tech the Corpirate gave to his contacts. Do you remember what the Corpirate said to us the first time we met him?”

“I was drugged and shackled to a chair at the time, so the memory’s a _little_ fuzzy. What did he say?”

“He said he had tech that could track the device. Remember?”

Gavin smiled and took a sip of the champagne.

“I do now. Ah, I get it now. Wouldn’t it be great if we could track the other pieces of alien tech?”

“Tech that is most likely held by the Corpirate’s closest confidants.” Jack said.

“And who do we know that’s worked with the Corpirate for a very long time?” Gavin led.

Jack smirked back at Gavin, something predatory in the expression.

“The Inconvenience.”

A loud cheer erupted from the next couch over.

“Yeah!” Geoff shouted. “In your face, Michael! I am the Halo King!”

Michael threw his controller onto the coffee table.

“Gracious in victory as always.”

Ryan put his controller down gently on the couch’s armrest.

“It’s his damn elite controller. Somehow the game knows and gives him”- Ryan wiggled his fingers –“I don’t know. Good luck. It’s the only explanation.”

Geoff gave his controller a little pat. “You can get one any time you want, you know.”

“I can’t decide on how I want to customise it.” He stretched and stood up.

“I think I’m going to go to bed. We’re meeting with Colmillo Blanco in ten hours or so, so sleeping might be a good idea.”

“Do what you want, Ryan,” Jack said, “But someone’s got to knock Geoff off that pedestal.” He turned on his Xbox. “Gavin? You want to help?”

“Yeah, I could go for a few rounds. Just let me find my controller, I think Michael was doing something with to in the bathroom earlier. Something probably involving my hair gel.”

Michael snickered.

 *******

 

The Colmillo Blanco Crew had agreed to meet them at a small storage building off Autopia Parkway in the early afternoon. Quiet and conveniently close to Geoff’s own dock, it had been easy to agree to the meeting place. Michael drove and Jack sat shotgun, and Gavin, being the shortest and smallest person in the back seat, sat sandwiched between Geoff and Ryan.

“The only problem with your plan, Jack,” Geoff said, “is that we need to find the right piece of alien tech first to find The Inconvenience. And if Gus hasn’t been able to find anything in nine months, what chance do we have?”

“Gus isn’t perfect.” Gavin said. “And we haven’t been seriously searching either. I’ll get into the Los Santos Police records and see if they’ve come across anything.”

“See,” Ryan said, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Always dangerous!”

“Shut up, Michael. You’d think by now, if any tech retrieved from the ruins of Arcadius had made its way to a gang, wouldn’t they have used it against us by now?”

Geoff shrugged. Gavin narrowly avoided the shoulder that headed in his direction.

“They might just be waiting for the best time. Or, they haven’t figured out how to use it. Or, it can’t be turned into a weapon. Ryan”-

-“Or, nothing’s been found. Which do you think is more likely? A crew getting some tech somehow without Gus or us noticing, then _not_ doing anything stupid with it, or falling buildings doing what they always do: burying things under tonnes of rubble.

“No, I think any alien tech not in the hands of the Corpirate’s confidants is still buried. And I think I have a way to find it.”

“How?” Jack asked.

“The x-ray glasses.”

“I like the way you think, Ryan.” Geoff said. “Once we’re done here, I’ll call some people about it.”

Jack sighed. “You mean you’ll get _me_ to call some people.”

“You know me well.”

They pulled up at the front entrance and the electric gate opened for them. That was a good sign.

Michael parked to the left of the main building, next to some truck containers. There were a few people waiting for them out right near the water’s edge, so when Michael stopped the car Geoff headed for them.

None of them were wearing the alien enhanced body armour- they didn’t think they’d need it, and approaching without body armour was a sign of good faith. Of course, they were heavily armed. Gavin went very few places without at least his revolver and a smoke grenade, and he wasn’t going to take any chances with a crew that had, up until very recently, wanted him dead. Today he’d also taken two knives, a sticky bomb, and an SMG.

He was careful to appear as calm and relaxed as possible as he approached the members of Colmillo Blanco. They wore these weird white masks that made them impossible to identify. Gavin wasn’t sure which one was the leader but Geoff and Jack walked up to one of them confidently. Oh, that one had some red designs on their mask. That made sense.

Gavin hung back while Geoff and Jack talked business. While he was quite comfortable talking himself in and out of situations as need be, it was Jack that could do it without making enemies. Gavin’s job today was just to stand around and look equal parts intimidating and in control. Easy.

He cast his gaze around the storage building and the water. There were a few more members of Colmillo Blanco hiding in the darkness of the building but that was to be expected. The water, several metres below, shone bright enough for Gavin to need to look away even with his sunglasses on. Just ahead of him, there was one of those boat-suspender things for when workers were doing repair work on a ship’s hull. Gavin wasn’t sure what it was called. A black dinghy hung suspended in the straps, swaying gently in a weak sea breeze. Gavin supposed that was the boat they were taking with them.

A cargo ship in the distance sounded its horn. The negotiations paused until the ship finished.

“On to the boat, then.” The red masked man said. “It’s a military-grade dinghy, but we’ve made some upgrades for you. We just finished making the hull bullet proof, and we added a rocket launcher to the back.”

Geoff nodded, turning to look at the boat.

“I think this might help us deal with your little pirate problem. That’s going to be beneficial for both of us.”

“It will definitely help us focus on taking the rest of Vinewood.” Red Mask said.

“Maybe,” Jack said, “there’s a way where we can help each other here…”

Gavin kicked at a few loose pieces of gravel and surreptitiously looked back at Ryan and Michael. It was very difficult to tell if Ryan was bored or not, what with the mask and all, but he certainly looked attentive. Michael, Gavin could tell, was drifting off into space.

Gavin felt for him. It must be difficult for Michael to accept a secondary role in crew negotiations when he was used to making decisions. Gavin guessed, in a way, this sort of counted as making a decision. The choice to trust Geoff and follow his lead.

Of course, there was more to it than that. Michael’s past negotiation experience ended up making the Lads more enemies and friends, so it was definitely for the best that Geoff and Jack handle that side of things from now on. Gavin supposed Jack was training him up to do the same thing- they were both good with people, and a couple of times now Jack had asked him along to meet with suppliers and to talk with contacts. Maybe in a couple of months Gavin would be able to do those things on his own.

Gavin looked forward to for the chance to take some of the workload off Jack and Geoff. Anything to make their lives easier, even if it was dreadfully boring.

“So,” Geoff said, gesturing towards the dinghy, “Can I take a look?”

Red Mask nodded and motioned for one of his crew members to lower it down a bit. Red Mask took a few polite steps away from the boat, gesturing for Geoff to inspect the dinghy.

Geoff took two steps towards the dinghy before a voice shouted from the water’s edge.

“Get the _fuck_ down!”

Without hesitation, they dropped, pulling their weapons. The members of Colmillo Blanco cursed and scattered.

Was that the police? Had they been followed?

There was a single gunshot and then the boat exploded.

Gavin, already crouched low, was knocked over from the force of the blast and his revolver flew out of his hands. Hot red flames burned just out of arms reach. If he’d been any closer, he would be dead.

Not the police. They’d been betrayed. There was never going to be a deal with Colmillo Blanco.

Ears ringing and vision double, he made out the shapes of several masked Colmillo Blanco members take things from their jackets. Coughing, Gavin felt around for his revolver. All his hands found were debris.

The masked thugs shuddered and dropped to the concrete. Someone had shot them. Hopefully that meant the others were okay and fighting back. Jack, Ryan, and Michael had been further away from the blast, so they probably hadn’t been as affected by it.

Gavin’s head snapped up and scrambled to his knees. Geoff had been walking towards the boat just before it exploded. He spun around frantically, trying to spot him.

“Geoff?” Gavin yelled. He coughed again. “Geoff!”

Gavin spotted a blurry shape on the ground and crawled towards it. It was Geoff, but his eyes were shut and he wasn’t moving.

“Geoff? Geoff, come on, we gotta go.” Gavin said. He grabbed Geoff’s hand and squeezed. Geoff’s eyes opened and he took in a great gasping breath. Thank God. Gavin sagged with relief.

A few secondary explosions came from the remains of the dinghy, covering the pair of them in burning bits of plastic and small stones. Gavin protected Geoff’s head as best he could. Maybe they weren’t wearing body armour, but they clothes they wore could still protect them. A few bullets peppered the ground next to them.

He rolled Geoff over onto his back and put one of his arms around Gavin’s shoulders. They had to get back to the car before things got worse. Another explosion wrecked the air behind them, a bigger one, and Gavin fell back to the ground. Panting, he tried to rise to his knees again.

He wasn’t sure they were going to make it back to the car.

There was a streak of purple and a warm, reassuring hand hauling him up by the back of his shirt. The person wrapped one arm around Geoff’s waist and the other pushed Gavin forwards, away from the burning dinghy.

“Ray?” Gavin croaked, his eyes watering from the smoke.

The figure didn’t reply. Instead he led them back to the car, turning around a couple of times to fire his weapon, presumably at the Colmillo Blanco Crew. Gavin shook his head, trying to think straight.

A few seconds later he found himself deposited against the side of the car. The man laid Geoff down gently, almost tenderly, on the concrete next to him.

“Geoff, man, you shaved your moustache!” The man said. His voice had a slight Boston twang to it. “It’s a good- ow, fuck! Who did that?” The man left them and jogged back to the fight. Gavin squinted and caught another flash of purple and orange as the man hurled a grenade into the storage building.

Okay. That wasn’t who he thought it was.

Who the hell was that, then?

More hands on him, this time cupping his face. Gavin forced his eyes to focus and found Michael’s staring back at him. Slowly, the ringing in his ears faded and his head cleared.

“You with me, boi?” Michael asked.

“Yeah, yep, I see you. Check on Geoff.”

Gavin noticed the sound of gunfire had stopped. He shook his head once more to clear the last of the ringing and took a few deep breaths.

He was alive. Geoff and Michael were too, and the Colmillo Blanco Crew were either dead or had retreated.

He looked around and spotted Ryan and Jack confronting the purple and orange man. Good, everyone’s still breathing.

Gavin found himself suddenly furious.

He’d let a potential threat manhandle Geoff. A stranger that could have killed him with half a chance, and Gavin had given him plenty. Gavin picked himself off the ground, pulled his SMG out, and stumbled over to Ryan and Jack.

“Who are you?” Ryan asked. He pointed his assault rifle at the man.

The man in the purple jacket clutched at his bleeding arm. He was short, shorter than average, and very well built. He was also wearing a cowboy hat.

“Could you please not?” The man replied. “I literally just saved your boyfriend’s lives. And yours too, if it matters. Could you at least be a _little_ bit grateful?”

No one outside their circle of friends knew about the relationship. Many had guessed, but no one was certain.

This guy looked pretty certain.

Ryan cocked his head.

“I’m not very nice to strangers.”

The purple and orange man sighed.

“I really, _really_ don’t feel like doing this today. Can you just for once in your life listen to me and actually do as I say?”

“Not gonna happen.” Jack said. “We’ll ask you _one_ more time who you are. Answer or die.”

“Fine. Fine! You can call me Rimmy Tim.”

Gavin scoffed. “Come one. You expect us to believe that’s your name?”

“Of course not. I told you that’s what you can call me, is all.”

Michael and Geoff came over, Geoff leaning heavily on Michael but well enough to hold his Glock steady.

“Cut the crap.” Geoff said. “Why did you help us? Who do you work for?”

Rimmy Tim sighed again, louder and more pronounced.

“Great. Gang’s all here. It doesn’t matter what I say, you won’t believe me anyway. Not until you trust me.”

“And why the fuck should we trust you?” Geoff asked.

“You’ve trusted worse for less. I mean, you trusted each other after a single day in Zancudo.”

The air grew very still.

How did he know about that? The only people who knew were either friends or buried underneath Arcadius.

How the _hell_ did he know that?

Rimmy Tim checked his watch, one that looked identical to Geoff’s, and grimaced.

“I got to go. Work to do. And for the record, I feel really bad about this.”

“About what?” Michael said.

Rimmy Tim pressed down on something in his hand and Gavin’s vision was filled with a red light.

Gavin spun in the air and braced himself for impact with the insulation.

He blinked- and realised he hadn’t moved. He was still on the concrete, albeit crouched now, but he was still at the storage building.

Not in Zancudo.

Not back down there.

Gavin broke out into a cold sweat. He fell backwards on the ground, what was left of his strength gone, and glanced around making sure the others were still with him. They were, in various states of confusion and fear.

Ryan was the first to stand up, swinging his assault rifle around and searching for Rimmy Tim. His chest heaved.

He was gone.

 *******

 

Kerry finished the last stich in Jack’s arm and cut the thread. He tied the end off and covered the wound with a bit of gauze.

“Jack,” Kerry said, “Next time try to dodge the bullet, would you?”

“Think of it as me keeping you in business.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. I swear Miles is in here every second day. Maybe I should give him the spare bedroom.”

Gavin nursed a glass of water. He’d (with no small difficulty) taken some pain killers and was waiting for them to kick in. Geoff laid on the lounge with an ice pack over his face, and Ryan and Michael were cleaning their weapons. Ryan had taken his mask off.

“Seriously,” Michael said, “How did that guy know about Zancudo?”

“I have a few theories…” Ryan started, but Michael cut him off.

“Shut up, Ryan. I know what you’re gonna say.”

“There _has_ to be alien tech involved.” Ryan said, ignoring Michael.

Geoff groaned on the couch.

“No there doesn’t. Occam’s razor, remember? The simplest explanation is usually the right one. We probably have a leak somewhere. Someone’s selling information.”

Ryan waved his hands in the air.

“That’s exactly what you said last time! And it turned out to be alien technology!”

“Fine! What do you think it is then? Time travel? Universe jumping? Hate to break it to you, but there was only one device that could do that and we disintegrated it.”

Kerry put his medical equipment down and shook his head.

“Nope. Nup. I’m going.”

“Awww Kerry,” Jack said as Kerry walked away. “You don’t have to go. You’ve earned the right to know what’s going on.”

“Not interested. The last time I got involved with you guys I was mugged, sent to prison, and hit with a firetruck. You do you, and I’ll do me.”

“That was just a hazing! And we broke you out of that prison.”

“Yeah, still nah. I don’t think it was worth it just to learn who Ryan was.” Kerry left the room, calling out behind him. “Shout if any of you manage to get injured before leaving my house. Good Lord. Alien technology and time travel.”

Once Kerry had left, Geoff took the ice pack off his face and sat up.

“We should go see Gus. He’d have the best chance of knowing anything about our pal Rimmy Tim, what gang he works for or what his skill set is. My phone got smashed in the explosion so we’ll have to drop in. It’s not too late”-

Geoff glanced at his wrist.

-“And I lost my watch in the explosion too. Great. Fantastic.”

Gavin cleared his throat.

“I, um, I think I saw Rimmy Tim with it…”

Geoff threw his hands up in the air.

“Well fuck. First this guy saves our lives, then he robs me? I don’t know whether I want to hug the guy or put a bullet in his head.”

“It has to be a trick.” Michael said. “He wants us to get on our good side so we’ll trust him. Then, I don’t know, maybe he can take down the entire Fake AH network from the top down.”

Jack stood up and passed Ryan his mask. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone’s tried something like that. Hell, maybe he’s working for the Colmillo Blanco Crew and this entire day was just a set up.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” Geoff said. “They just tried to kill us with an exploding dinghy. What’s one more layer of bullshit?

“Until we sort this mess out, no-one discuss anything except with those in our inner circle.” Geoff frowned. “I never should have trusted the Colmillo Blanco Crew. Be on your guard, guys. Let’s go.”


	2. It's a Small World After All

_Ryan and Gavin stepped into the kitchen, attracted by either the noise or the tension in the room. As soon as they saw Ray, their faces fell. Ray stood awkwardly in the middle of the room._

_“Why now?” Gavin asked, swallowing hard._

_Ray shifted the duffel bag over to his other shoulder._

_“We ate breakfast together yesterday. All of us.”_

_The tension in the room thickened. Everyone remembered how still and quiet Ray was during that breakfast. Now they knew the reason._

_“There’s no more.” Ray continued. “That was the last vision I hadn’t seen play out. Well, the last good one. It’s all… pretty much downhill after that.”_

_*******_

 

Geoff’s Roosevelt was looking a little worse for wear, with all the bullet holes peppering the armour. Marcus had done a great job repurposing the alien metal from the Corpirate’s helicopter to make their vehicles stronger, so the damage was actually pretty superficial. Considering how difficult it had been to take down those choppers nine months ago, Jack was fairly certain their cars could all take a hit from a tank and come out still drivable.

Although, learning from taking down the choppers last time, maybe he should look in to some better bullet-proof glass. He wasn’t about to make the Corpirate’s weaknesses his own.

He turned off the freeway and on to a non-descript dirt track. Jack had travelled down it many times before, so he knew how to avoid the forks and twists and sudden dead ends. It would still be another half an hour until they pulled up to Gus’s hermit shack. Gavin and Geoff were asleep in the back seat, Geoff snoring softly, and Michael looked as if he was going to nod off any second. His eyes had been shut the last couple of times Jack looked back at him. Only Ryan was still awake and he sat next to him in the passenger seat, rubbing at a bloodstain on his mask.

They kept their voices low as to avoid waking the others.

“There’s one more angle we haven’t considered.” Jack said.

“What’s that?”

“Do you think Ray could have sent him? To help us?”

Ryan’s hands stilled.

“It feels unlikely. If Ray knew about the set-up because he fell down the alien tech rabbit hole, why wouldn’t he tell us before hand?” He carried on cleaning his mask. “Or why not come himself? We’d have been over the moon seeing him again.”

“That might be why he sent someone else. Maybe seeing us would be… painful for him.”

“I still think it’s too unlikely. We need to focus on finding the prick, whoever he really is, and make him talk.”

“We can’t forget that he saved Geoff and Gavin’s lives.” Jack cautioned. “However he knew about the betrayal, he was helping us.”

“But why wouldn’t he, I don’t know, _tell us_ about it before everything went to shit?” Ryan countered. “He could have told us. Sent a message. Hell, he could have sent a tweet. Everyone knows we read the good ones. So what the fuck is going on?”

Jack raised his fingers from the steering wheel and wiggled them.

“A spy? Are we being watched? Alien technology? Or some combination?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan said. He folded his arms. “But he’s playing some larger game. There’s too much we don’t know yet and I hate feeling like a chess piece. Nobody that helps us does so without wanting something in return.”

Ryan was getting stroppy. Jack tried to keep the mood hopeful.

“We’re not too far from Gus, and he knows everyone that’s anyone in Los Santos. We’ll find Rimmy Tim and you can get your answers straight from the source. This whole mess can be sorted by sundown.”

Jack instantly regretted his words. Both of them knew exactly how distant a sunset could be.

Ryan harrumphed.

“Things are rarely so simple with us.”

“Except you wouldn’t have it any other way, would you.” Jack replied. He took his right hand off the steering wheel and placed it on Ryan’s knee, rubbing it gently. Ryan didn’t acknowledge the action but he did relax the death-grip on his mask.

 

*******

 

Gus didn’t look happy to see them, but then again he never did. He did raise one eyebrow at them like he was a bit confused, which was a bit more unusual.

“I didn’t expect to see any of you here today.” Gus said.

“Why’s”- Geoff started, but cut off. “What the fuck are you doing in here, Gus?”

Jack stood on the balls of his feet to see over Gus’s head.

“Good God.” Jack said. “You’ve lost it, haven’t you? You’ve completely lost the plot.”

Gus grinned. The intensity scared Jack a little.

“I haven’t lost it. I’m _this close_ to finding it. The alien technology!”

Gus darted away from the doorway and into the complete mess that was his home. The five of them filed in after him and picked their way over to the living room.

The place looked like a bomb had gone off. Every available surface was either covered in paper or had something pinned to it. Even the couch in the entryway had a filing cabinet sitting on it. Not even the ceiling was spared- new shelves hung suspended over what little space was left. Jack pushed one out of the way and held it so Gavin and Michael could get through.

Gus levelled the stacks of papers on the kitchen table and laid out a map of Los Santos. It was a regular one that a tourist would pick up in a travel agents. He had another one, covering a wall in the hallway, which was completely covered in notes and details about the city.

Gus pulled a red marker pen out from somewhere and began to scribble all over the tourist map.

“There’s this team of people that have been moving packages all over the island.” Gus explained, frantically drawing. “I haven’t been able to track them to their destinations yet, but the movements are suspicious. And they’ve only increased since that Prince or whatever came to visit.”

“That’s great,” Michael said, “But what does that have to do with the alien tech?”

“ _Everything_.” Gus replied. “Those routes,” He pointed at the map, where two dozen roads had been highlighted, “are where the rumours are.”

“What rumours?” Geoff said. “Alien tech rumours?”

“Not quite. Whispers and stories about criminals doing impossible things. Snipers shooting through windows but leaving the glass unbroken. Assassins appearing out of nowhere. Bank robbers taking ten shots to the chest and holding their ground.”

Geoff frowned.

“Gus, those stories have been around as long as I can remember. Do you remember the one a few years back about the woman who could control people through dreams?”

“This is different though! All these stories originated in bars and strip clubs near these routes!” Gus stabbed at the paper with his finger. “I would have thought, after all the things you’ve done, you lot would be the most likely to believe me.”

“I’m not ruling them out.” Geoff said. “I just want to keep a level head about this and not get excited over nothing. We’ve got too much on our plate right now to handle wild goose chases as well. Do you have _any_ other evidence that these routes, the stories, and the Prince, are connected?”

Gus fumed, opened his mouth, but then shut it and said nothing.

“So you’ve got nothing.” Ryan said.

“A lack of evidence is suspicious! People are always coming up with insane theories about things!”

“Case and point.” Michael murmured.

“But there’s nothing, not even a single person talking about this. About these rumours popping up. About the people moving hidden things. It’s suspicious!”

“Or it means there’s _nothing_!” Ryan countered.

“Not always.” Gavin said. “I’ve found a suspicious lack of nothing whenever I look for The Inconvenience. Gus might be right about this.”

Geoff sighed.

“He usually is about things. So Gus: what do you think is going on then? You think the Prince is selling alien tech to the criminals of Los Santos?”

“Not at all. I think the Inconvenience is selling the tech to _him_ , and he’s come here to pick it up.  That’s why he’s in the country. The Inconvenience’s thugs might be using the tech to make their own heists easier. _That’s_ why the rumours have started.” He punctuated each point with a jab at the map.

“It’s plausible.” Geoff agreed. “The Inconvenience probably has a bunch of the Corpirate’s old alien tech laying around. I shouldn’t have shut you theory down so quick, Gus. Thanks for spending so much time on this.”

Gus cast an eye around the kitchen, taking in all the monitors, empty pizza boxes, and the library’s worth of paper. Flies danced around the boxes. Something dripped onto a filing cabinet.

“It was my genuine pleasure.”

He sat down heavily on one of the kitchen table chairs. A few photos that Jack recognised as stills from CCTV cameras floated to the ground.

“But my theories aren’t why you’re here, is it.” Gus said. After getting his conspiracy out of the way, Gus looked a lot calmer and more like his usual grumpy self. “What can I do for you today?”

Jack moved a pile of books and three (and a half) mugs to the ground, and sat on a chair.

“The Colmillo Blanco Crew tried to kill us.” Jack explained. “They filled the dinghy with explosives and set it off when we got close.”

“They mustn’t have done a very good job,” Gus said, “Seeing as I’m putting up with you all right now.”

“Actually, they would have done a great job, but someone warned us and helped us fight back. Without him, Geoff and Gavin could have been seriously injured.”

Michael put a protective hand on Gavin’s shoulder and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Gavin reached up and covered Michael’s hand with his own.

“He knew about Zancudo.” Ryan added. “He knew things no-one could possibly know.”

“Who?” Gus said.

“He goes by the name of Rimmy Tim. Have you heard of him?”

“I don’t… think so.” Gus answered. “But I’ll check my files in case he’s mentioned somewhere. I’m a little… sleep deprived right now.”

“Thanks.” Jack said.

Gus gingerly stepped over the piles of stuff and went off to look. A few minutes later he came back empty handed.

“There’s no one in Los Santos that goes by that name.” Gus said. “Not a real name or a code name.”

“Told you it was a fake name.” Gavin said.

“It doesn’t mean it’s a fake,” Geoff explained, “It just means he’s not from Los Santos.”

“You should go to Burnie.” Gus said. “He’s got a better grasp of”- he waved a hand around –“international things.”

Geoff nodded. “I’ll visit him next. Keep me updated, Gus. Oh, and don’t tell anyone about any of this. There might be a spy somewhere in our crew selling us out to Colmillo Blanco. Can you keep an eye out for that as well?”

Gus groaned. “You’re lucky I like you, Ramsey. Yes, of course.”

They turned to leave. Before he left the kitchen, Jack turned around and asked Gus one more thing.

“Hey, why’d you say you weren’t expecting us today?”

“Because of the courier _Ryan_ sent earlier today.” He put emphasis on Ryan’s name, like he was proud of the fact he was included in the secret. “Which I’m not going to thank him for. Nine months! It took you nine months to return my poisons!”

After the Corpirate had been killed, Ryan told the lot of them about the poisons he’d stolen from Gus. It had been a good plan, but Jack asked Ryan to tell him the next time he did something like that. Jack could keep a poker face, after all. When Gus had found out, he’d been _furious_ at Ryan until he agreed to tell him his name and show his face.

Ryan stuck his head back in the kitchen, confusion written all over his face.

“I… didn’t send a courier?”

“Yes you did!” Gus argued. “He knew the knock and he said they were from you. You even got me some _Dendrocnide moroides_ as part of the apology. Don’t you remember?”

“No?”

“Gus.” Jack said. “Was the courier young, a little on the short side?”

“Yeah?”

“Boston accent? Horrible sense of fashion?”

“Yes.”

“Fucking hell.” Geoff said. “That was Rimmy fucking Tim.”

“Who _is_ this guy?!” Gavin shouted.

Gus looked like he was ready to explode.

“I don’t know. But you better find out.”

Michael’s phone rang.

“Hello? Lindsay? What?” He nodded couple of times and then frowned. “Fucking hell. Okay, I’ll tell the others. This is going to put a dampener on our game of Trouble in Terrorist Town.”

He hung up.

“Colmillo Blanco took out a warehouse and one of our safehouses. There _has_ to be a spy somewhere in our crew.”

Trouble in Terrorist Town was a code phrase for betrayal inside the crew. Michael had come up with about a dozen of them a few months ago. They were all based on video games. It wasn’t a great system, especially when they wanted to play said video game, but it was a safeguard in case they were with other people or if the phone line was being listened to.

“Fucking Christ.” Geoff said.

“Did we lose anyone?” Gavin asked.

Michael shook his head.

“There was no one at the safehouse and only a few hired guards at the warehouse. Nobody we care about got hurt.”

“Were they after anything?”

“Lindsay didn’t say anything more, except that she’s at the warehouse right now if we want to meet her.”

Michael turned to Geoff.

“We need to see this for ourselves.”

Geoff nodded.

 

******* 

 

It was hard for Jack to ever forget Michael led his own crew before he joined forces with Geoff. Whenever something came up that involved Gavin, Lindsay, or someone else Michael knew before Zancudo, his whole demeanour changed. He stood up straighter, his eyes became more alert, he became that little bit on edge, and when he spoke it was always with authority. Michael was great at taking charge, something that hadn’t happened too often since the whole Corpirate debacle, but when he did Jack was more than happy to follow. While Geoff was a great strategist and planner, Michael’s drive to protect and demolish every obstacle in his way was matched by no-one else Jack knew, except for maybe Ryan.

Which was precisely why the former Gents hung back a bit while Michael and Gavin walked around the warehouse and listened intently to Lindsay’s words. While Jack had gotten to know Lindsay extensively in the months they had worked together, whenever Michael and Gavin were around she turned back into a Lad rather than one of the top dogs of the FAHC. They worked better as three sometimes than they did as six.

They would work better as four but, well, it was too late for that.

Jack left the three of them to it and looked around. The warehouse was much like every other warehouse in the city- huge, vaguely dirty, and run by criminals. The ceiling was high and criss-crossed by exposed support beams. Roof ventilation turbines cast flickering shadows on the floor.

The major difference with this one was that most of the stored product inside was either burnt or melted. The crates of drugs, documents, and stacks of money were little more than ashes at this point. Fortunately the warehouse itself survived, so it wasn’t a total write-off.

There was a logo spray painted on the wall. It depicted a red wolf or a bear of some sort snarling against a backdrop of three jagged claw marks. The paint was dry to the touch but not quite hard yet.

“It’s kind of weird, isn’t it?” Geoff said. “Colmillo Blanco is Spanish for White Fang, but their logo is this red thing. What’s up with that?”

“We’re not one to talk.” Lindsay said, walking over to them. “Our symbol is a green circle with a rubber duck in the middle.”

“I thought it would show our playful side!”

“And _their_ symbol shows their dangerous side. Look, shut up, we need to talk about what happened today.”

And it was really nice watching someone talk to Geoff like that- as an equal, or a friend. Someone who wasn’t afraid to say what was on their mind and steer Geoff in the right direction. Lord knows it was a nice change for someone other than Jack to do it, and he was so glad it turned out to be Lindsay.

Geoff had been right, nine months ago. Lindsay did end up running everything, and the FAHC was all the better for it.

“We lost about five million dollars worth of stuff. Four mill in cash, a million’s worth of cocaine. This is a fairly serious setback for us. Our clients are going to be pissed and it’s going to take _weeks_ to earn all that money back, which we can’t do if Colmillo Blanco is up our asses…”

“Then we’ll get them off our asses.” Geoff replied. “There’s no way we _can’t_ retaliate after an attack like this. We’ll look weak.”

“We’ve been looking weak for three months.” Lindsay said.

Ever since Ray left.

“We’ll just have to do something big and show everyone that’s not the case then.” Geoff broke out in a grin. “I think this is where Ryan’s expertise comes in to play.”

“Oh boy.” Ryan said. “It’s been a while since I went on a murder spree.”

“Jeez Ryan,” Lindsay said, “I can’t tell if you’re more or less creepy with your mask off.”

“I’m not trying to be creepy, it’s just a fact that it’s been a while since I went on one!”

“I’d have a better chance of believing you if you weren’t covered in someone else’s blood.”

“Jack,” Geoff said, “How many Colmillo Blanco safehouses and stuff do we know about?”

“A few. Maybe four or five.”

“That’s enough to cause some trouble for them. After the betrayal and then this attack, I’d say it’s time we dealt with them once and for all, don’t you think?”

Jack nodded, and left to go find Michael and Gavin. If it was going to be an all-out war with Colmillo Blanco, they would need to be part of the conversation. They were standing over the bloodstains left by the murdered guards, holding hands. Gavin had his head resting on Michael’s shoulder, and there was something very vulnerable about the pose that Jack didn’t want to interrupt, but knew he had to.

Jack put a hand on each of their shoulders, and they separated and wrapped their arms around Jack instead, their arms crossing over in the middle.

“You two okay?” Jack asked.

They nodded.

“We’ve lost guys before.” Michael said. “They knew what industry they were getting in to.”

“It’s just,” Gavin started, “If Colmillo Blanco knew about this warehouse and the safehouse, what else to they know? I _thought_ I was keeping a close eye on things. Clearly I wasn’t.”

Gavin was, if anything, an extremely competent hacker. All these plans slipping past his (and Gus’s) eyes weren’t a sign of his incompetence. It was just a testament to the skill of their opponents.

Although Gavin’s words were worrying, he was pleased to be included in the vulnerable moment rather than ruin it. Gavin has always been closer to Michael but it was apparent Jack wasn’t far behind.

“No one doubts that you were doing your best, Gavin. I’m thinking that our lack of information on Colmillo Blanco and the alien tech might be related. I’ll bet money that Rimmy damned Tim guy is in the middle of this somehow.”

Gavin smirked.

“How much money?”

“Shut up.”

“Four dollars he isn’t.” Michael said.

“It’s a deal.”

Jack huffed a laugh and held them closer.

“Anyway,” Jack said, “You’re needed back with the others. Geoff is planning something big with Colmillo Blanco.”

Gavin perked up.

“Is Ryan gonna go on another spree?”

“You betcha.”

They made their way back to Geoff, Ryan, and Lindsay. Lindsay and Ryan had their phones out and Geoff was dictating messages to them. Ryan spoke to his contact in French while Lindsay typed at a tremendous speed.

“Gavin,” Geoff said, “Can you get in contact with Ashley?”

He nodded.

Geoff turned to Michael.

“Can you get find Blaine?”

“Yeah, I know people.”

“Good. We need to know his suppliers. I can call in a couple of favours.”

“Geoff,” Jack asked. “Are you sure we can trust these people? One of them could be a spy.”

 “We don’t really have a choice, do we.” Geoff replied, sighing. “We need all the help we can get. Colmillo Blanco is too powerful to let them do what they want. If that means taking a risk like this… I’ll do it.”

Jack held his gaze and then nodded.

“We can do this.”

Geoff reached a hand up to twirl his moustache before realising he didn’t have it anymore and aborted the motion.

“We have to.”

 

*******

 

Michael drove the lot of them to Rooster Teeth. In the past months, the facility had grown from a few floors in a commercial building to owning half of said building, and Geoff had been tickled pink about it.  He said he’d need to turn it into a legitimate business how it’s grown so large, or people would start asking questions.

They walked through the front door and nodded at the receptionist, who let them through and they took the elevator up to the floors owned by Rooster Teeth. Geoff swiped his key card once they made it to the highest level, and the doors opened to reveal Burnie waiting for them, wringing his hands nervously.

“What’s so important you can’t pick up a phone and call me about it?” he asked Geoff.

“Phone’s busted. And we think there’s a spy in our midst.”

Burnie’s expression grew darker.

“Fucking hell. Who here would want to betray us? I thought things were pretty nice here.”

“I’ll tell you about it somewhere more private, okay?”

Geoff took Burnie’s arm and led him to a conference room. They followed them and sat down inside.

Jack had sat in this very conference room dozens of times with the rest of the Fakes, organising and planning in it when it was necessary to be close to Rooster Teeth. The first time they’d entered the room after Zancudo, Geoff took one look at the oval table and refused to go in until it was removed. Now, a natural wood table sat in its place, cut in the shape of the natural grain of the wood.

“Someone’s selling us out.” Geoff explained. “They’re giving our info to Colmillo Blanco. There’s also this guy Rimmy Tim who also knows this. He may or may not be working with Colmillo Blanco. Do you know who he is?”

Burnie blinked, then shook his head.

“Gus didn’t either. He thinks he’s not from around here.”

“I’ll uh, I’ll look into it for you.” Burnie pulled out his phone and texted someone.

Ryan adjusted his mask. He’d put it back on once they’d left the warehouse.

“That’s not all. We think alien technology might be involved somehow. Gus thinks the tech might be circulating around the city.”

Burnie looked grim.

“We don’t have time to deal with all this. First Colmillo Blanco, then the spy, that Tim guy, and now the tech. All in the same day? That can’t be a coincidence.”

Jack nodded.

“We’re beginning to think the same thing. That’s why we need to find Tim as soon as possible.”

Burnie’s phone buzzed.

“Miles was fast.”

He tapped on his phone for a few seconds and a projector turned on, blowing a document up against the wall.

“Rimmy Tim,” Burnie read, “A not-so-secret codename to a Mr Jeremy Dooley. As far as we know, he’d never been to Los Santos before. He did freelance work in Massachusetts for a few years before being hired as one of Prince James’s bodyguards nine months ago.”

“Prince James?” Michael said. “The same Prince James currently taking a nice holiday in Los Santos?”

“Looks like it. That explains how he got here.”

Jack frowned, thinking.

“I can’t figure out how to put all this together. I just can’t. It makes no sense!”

“Well,” Geoff said, standing, “We need to stop trying to speculate then. It’s getting us nowhere. We should just focus on the things we know for certain. The facts.”

Geoff walked to the wall opposite the projection and picked up a whiteboard marker. The entire far wall was a giant whiteboard, and Geoff made neat bullet points in a column down the wall.

“We know Dooley helped me and Gavin.”

“That means,” Ryan said, “He also knew about the betrayal.”

“He knows about Zancudo.” Jack added. “Our relationship. The red flash.”

Geoff nodded and wrote everything down.

“He works for Prince James.” Burnie said. “We have good intel on most of the mercenaries for hire.”

“Colmillo Blanco knew where our buildings were.” Ryan said. “Can’t forget that.”

“There’s one more thing.” Geoff said, slapping Gavin’s hand away from the whiteboard. Gavin retreated laughing, a marker in hand.

“The spy.” Michael said.

“The tech.” Ryan said, at exactly the same time.

Geoff sniggered. “I was gonna say Dooley knows Gus’s secret knock, but I can write those down too.” He picked up another colour. “I’m gonna write them down in red because we’re not one hundred percent sure about these yet.”

“You’re so organised.” Jack said.

Geoff flipped him off.

They stared at the information for a while.

“So what do we do?” Michael asked.

“We find him, and we make him talk.” Geoff answered. “He’s dangerous. We don’t know all that much about him. And if he has alien technology on his side, he might be ready for us. I don’t care if he might’ve could’ve maybe saved Gavin and me- he’s trying to set something up and I don’t like it. We need to find him and get some answers as quickly as possible.”

Geoff wandered over to the door, urging the others to follow him.

“Burnie’s document has given us a bunch of leads. Gavin, can you hack Prince”-

Geoff pulled to dead stop in the doorway. Ryan and Gavin crashed into him.

“What the fuck, Geoff,” Michael said, but Geoff wasn’t listening. Geoff was pulling his Glock from his belt and pointing it down the corridor, back where they came from.

“It’s _him_.” Geoff whispered. “It’s fucking _him_.”

They burst out from the doorway and aimed their guns down the hall.

Dooley was talking animatedly to Barbara, laughing at something she said. He was carrying a golden minigun in his left hand, and a small bag on his back. He stopped and dropped the minigun on the ground when he saw the six guns pointed in his direction.

“Barb!” Burnie shouted. “Get back!”

Barbara darted away from Jeremy and out of Jack’s field of view, drawing her own weapon as she did.

Dooley held his hands up in the air in surrender, albeit with a bit of difficulty, Jack noticed.

“Hey guys!” He said. “You found me!”

“Get on the ground, kid.” Ryan said, his voice low.

Dooley complied, falling to his knees.

“Well, nice to see you too, I guess.” Dooley said. “I just came up here to return something to Burnie and then I’ll be on my way.”

Burnie narrowed his eyes.

“Is that _my_ minigun?”

“Well, it’s not the same one but it’s gold plated, so I didn’t think you’d mind. Seeing as the Vagabond over there let your original get destroyed in Arcadius. So if I could just return it and go”-

“Oh no, _Dooley_.” Geoff said. “You’re not going anywhere after this, except with us. How did you get up here anyway?”

Dooley gave Gavin a very pointed look. Gavin stared back, confused for a brief moment before taking one hand off his revolver to pat around in his pockets.

“Dammit, Dooley!” Gavin shouted. “Did you take my key card?”

“Yeah, sorry. I needed it.”

Gavin flipped him off.

Jack approached Dooley, gun still raised.

“You have a lot of explaining to do.”

He nodded. “I know. And I will. You’ve just gotten a lot of conflicting information. I’ll clear everything up for you as soon as I can.”

“I… what? Look, just take the backpack off. Slide it over here.”

Dooley complied and Jack took a look inside. There were no explosives or weapons inside he could see.

“Right.” Geoff said. “You’re coming with us now.”

Dooley sighed.

“Guys, I’ll come quietly, I promise. There’s no need”-

Jack smacked him in the head with the butt of his rifle. Dooley grunted and crashed to the ground. He wasn’t knocked out, just dazed. Jack checked him over for hidden weapons while Ryan tied his hands behind his back.

“We need to take him back to the car.” Ryan said. “We’ve got the proper equipment in there.”

Dooley groaned on the floor. Geoff nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s get him back to the apartment. We’ll have a nice long _chat_ , I think. Really clear everything up.”

Ryan and Michael each grabbed one of Dooley’s arms and dragged him towards the elevator.

“You guys got this?” Burnie asked.

“We can take it from here.” Geoff replied. “This was… a lot easier than I expected, I have to admit. Thanks for your help today, Burnie.”

“I’ll email you the stuff we have on him.”

“Much appreciated. I’ll keep you updated.”

 

*******

 

The sun was well beneath the horizon by the time they made it back to the apartment. Dooley had spent the entire trip in the boot, a bag over his head and tape over his mouth. He looked relieved when they took the bag off, but his face dropped when he looked around.

“Bet you’d rather be back in the boot.” Geoff said. They were currently standing in a spacious janitor’s closet next to a little-used staircase far below the apartment, and just above the carpark. The room had been soundproofed and Geoff held the only key. It was convenient when, say, your closest safehouse had burned down earlier today.

Michael pushed Dooley into a chair and Ryan secured his hands and feet to it. He pulled off the tape and Dooley grunted when the tape came away with quite a few of his beard hairs.

“You’d better start talking, Dooley.” Geoff continued. “Otherwise…”

Gavin pushed open the door and lowered a bucket of water and a washcloth to the ground. He was wearing Dooley’s cowboy hat. He grinned at Dooley, but there was nothing warm in the smile.

Dooley didn’t look perturbed.

“Look, guys, I already said I’d talk. And you can call me Jeremy. There’s really no need for any of this. I’m here to help you!”

Geoff scoffed.

“If you were really so altruistic, you wouldn’t have gone about helping us in such a completely backwards way. No, _Dooley_ , you’re doing something more. We know you work for Prince James. You better spill the beans now or the Vagabond will spill them for you.”

“Okay, okay!” Dooley said. He tried to gesture with his hands but the tape didn’t give him much movement. “You were all right.”

Ryan tilted his head to the side. Gavin cast a confused look at Michael.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jack asked.

“You all have different theories about what’s going on. Yes, there’s a spy in your little family somewhere and it’s wise to avoid talking about it over communication channels. Yes alien technology is being used around Los Santos. And yes, I’m setting something up. Manipulating you. All of you were right.”

The revelations stunned Jack. How the _hell_ did he know all their theories?

“I know all this, Jack,” Dooley continued, “Because you told me. You think you know me through that one file Burnie gave you, but you’ve only scratched the surface of what’s really going on.”

“Go on then,” Michael said sternly, “If you know everything, what’s really going on?”

Dooley smiled.

“What do you need for a crash?”

The five of them sat still for a moment. Dooley was really throwing them off course with every sentence he said. Jack was still trying to wrap his head around Jeremy’s earlier statement.

“Like a computer crash?” Gavin said.

“No.” Dooley replied. “Like a car crash. Come on, guess.”

“You need two things.” Ryan said. “A car”-

“Yep. Two things.” Dooley cut him off. “Have you ever wondered _why_ that alien spaceship crashed into Mount Gordo? It needed to hit something else, didn’t it?”

“We can’t exactly look in to the past.” Ryan said.

“We don’t need to. We know nothing on Earth really does much to damage alien tech. In fact, the only thing that really works is _other_ alien tech. So why did the ship crash into Mount Gordo?”

“Another alien ship.” Jack breathed.

Jeremy made finger guns and aimed them at Jack.

“Exactly right. And this second spaceship crash landed on Earth too. Any guesses where?”

“Near enough to Prince James, I bet.” Ryan said.

 “So Prince James has alien technology.” Jack asked. The pieces were starting to fall together. How Dooley knew so much. Why Prince James was in the country.

“Not enough.” Dooley continued. “He wants every last piece of it, and he’s willing to take Los Santos by force for it.”

“Is that why he sent you here?” Jack said. “You said you were here to help us and manipulate us. Are you trying to get us to give our tech to Prince James?”

“Actually, he sent me here to kill you.”

The atmosphere in the room grew colder.

“You?” Michael said. “He sent _one guy_ to kill all five of us?”

Dooley smiled again, a small sad smile. No light reached his eyes.

“You’re all familiar with a red and blue device that sends people across universes when you die. Well, Prince James has one of those.”

A pipe. Pain. A red flash of light. A building collapsing. A pink sniper rifle.

Jack shook the thoughts away. God, that brought back bad memories. He never wanted to experience that again. There was another device out there that did the same thing. Jack felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach.

“How long?” Geoff asked. His voice was quiet, and soft around the edges.

“I couldn’t give you an exact number. Thousands of times. Maybe even tens of thousands. I lost track of things for a little while.”

Jack shuddered, suddenly. Gavin came up next to him and linked their fingers together.

“But you’re not trying to kill us anymore.” Ryan said. “You’ve had plenty of opportunities if you wanted to.”

Dooley nodded.

“I tried so hard, for a really long time. But I just couldn’t do it. You knew the city too well, the people, law enforcement. When you were together you could find a way through everything I could throw at you.”

“What changed?” Ryan pressed.

“I did. I got better. I knew the city as well as you did. I learned every one of your tactics until you couldn’t come up with more. And one day I had all of you in front of me, broken, and all I had to do was pull the trigger.

“But I didn’t. Because when I was standing over you I realised that this was what the rest of my life was gonna be like. Endless loops doing Prince James’s dirty work. I couldn’t do that. I wanted out. So I decided to help you with your Prince James and Colmillo Blanco problem so that maybe you’d help me in return.”

Dooley lapsed into silence while the rest of them absorbed the information. Jack didn’t think he was lying, not when he looked at the expression on Dooley’s face. There was something in his eyes that only the people in this room would recognise. Them, and one other.

Michael scowled.

“I don’t like being manipulated, Dooley. You’re clearly trying to make us feel sorry for you. Why the fuck should we help you? Cut the bullshit.”

Dooley pointed at his backpack, which was sitting in a corner of the room.

“Because you did in all the other universes. You trusted me, and you helped me, and I helped you in return. You told me things that would make it easier for you to trust me the next time around. The contents of that bag will clear things up. It’s not bullshit, Michael.”

Jack picked up the bag and rifled through it. There were a handful of dollar bills, two tubes of face paint, Geoff’s wallet, and Gavin’s key card. Tucked in the front pocket was a pack of Uno cards.

“How does this stuff clear things up?” Jack asked.

“Give the money to Michael.”

It looked just like regular money. Jack believed his story enough to give Dooley the benefit of the doubt. He passed the money to Michael.

“Thanks Dooley.” Michael said sarcastically. “Four bucks. Very enlightening.”

“Now give it to Gavin.”

“Why?”

“Because you lost the bet. Turned out that I was actually in the middle of everything.”

Ryan and Geoff looked confused. Gavin and Michael shared a look with Jack.

“The key card and the wallet are for Gavin and Geoff, respectively. Sorry I snatched them. Gavin, you were the one that taught me how to pickpocket actually. No one else in Los Santos could possibly teach me to pickpocket well enough to steal from you. Apprentice becomes the master, I suppose.”

They reached for their items numbly, turning them over in their hands and thinking.

Dooley turned to Ryan.

“Ryan Haywood, you had a brief modelling gig when you were younger.”

Ryan flinched.

Geoff immediately burst out laughing.

“Really, Ryan? You were a _model_?”

Michael and Gavin started laughing too. Jack couldn’t help but join in.

“Oh my God, it’s true, isn’t it!” Gavin said. “Look, he’s not denying it!”

“I wasn’t very good!” Ryan argued, but sighed. “I can’t believe I told you that.”

“You needed to tell me something only you know. Something that would never be found online, never be tortured out of you, something so ridiculous it could only come from you. That’s the only way you told me you’d believe me.”

Ryan took his mask off and appraised Dooley. A bit of embarrassed colour faded from his cheeks.

“I really liked you, didn’t I Dooley.”

Dooley nodded. “You did. And please, call me Jeremy.”

“I will.”

Ryan had clearly decided to trust Jeremy and Ryan was the least trusting out of all of them. The whole situation felt surreal. None of this was going how he expected.

Of course, this was all probably part of Jeremy’s plan. Jack wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that.

Jack picked up the face paint.

“So what’s this for? How will face paint convince me to trust you?”

“That’s actually for Ryan, but later. The Uno cards are for later too. You told me yesterday for breakfast you had a meat pie, but you’ll only eat the ones made by the Australian lady at the corner shop. She puts something in them that makes them special but you can’t figure out what it is, and you’ll never ask.”

Jack opened his mouth and closed it again just as quickly. That was true. And that information was privy to no one else. Jack, not as begrudgingly as was probably appropriate, had no choice but to accept Jeremy’s words as true. Funny how two sentences can change a mind like that.

And Jeremy did have ample opportunities to kill them and chose not to…

 “All you gave me is my wallet.” Geoff said. “Why should _I_ trust you?”

“Isn’t the trust of your boyfriends enough?”

“No.”

“What about saving your life when Colmillo Blanco betrayed you? What about the nice things I did for Gus and Burnie? Is that not enough to earn your trust?”

“No!”

“Well it should be, because this horribly complicated and extremely painful plan was actually _your_ idea, a few universes ago. Well, more than a few. This is actually _all_ part of your plan. I’m just following the script.”

So the incidents with Gus and Burnie were for Geoff. God, Jeremy was right. A day as absolutely confusing as this one could only be concocted in Geoff’s head.

Geoff’s fingers drummed against the top of his Glock. He must have come to a conclusion because his demeanour changed, relaxing a little.

“That, I can believe. No-one else would have come up with a plan this stupid. Look at you, you’re bleeding out on my perfectly good floor, Jack hit you with his rifle… All because I said it was a good idea at some point.” Geoff smirked.

“Actually, getting shot during the Colmillo Blanco betrayal wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Oh?”

“You know how something’s slightly different in each universe? In this one, you shaved your moustache. Really threw me off balance.”

“What _is_ the plan?” Ryan said. “I assume your end goal is the destruction of your device.”

“Eventually. But I want Prince James gone too, and Colmillo Blanco.”

“How close does Geoff’s script get you?”

“I almost had it last universe. We were _inches_ from reaching Prince James. I know I can do it this time, even with a bullet wound.” Jeremy nodded at his arm. Blood dripped sluggishly down his am and speckled a small drain on the ground under him. “I just want it to be _over_ , okay? I just want it all to _end_.”

And if _that_ didn’t shake the last of Jack’s doubts away, nothing would.

“We know the feeling.” Ryan said. “Well, you knew that though. And that, clearly. Jeremy, do you know everything that will come out of my mouth?”

“Yep. I’ve had this conversation thousands of times. ”

“You’d probably know exactly what to say to convince us to, you know, let you go.”

“Yes I do. But it’s a lot of effort and I’d really rather just skip to you getting me out.” Jeremy smiled sweetly at Ryan. Michael scowled, and kicked at the ground in annoyance. He clearly still had some reservations.

Ryan looked to Geoff, who nodded. He pulled out a knife and sliced the tape holding Jeremy down. Jeremy rubbed at his wrists and nodded his appreciation.

Ryan held the knife in the palm of his hand, hidden just in case Jeremy tried something now. They stood still as Jeremy slowly, cautiously, approached Gavin and pulled the cowboy hat off his head, and put it on his own. Once he finished the motion Ryan relaxed slightly.

“Thank you for, you know, not torturing me. Took quite a few tries to get you to believe me _before_ the bucket came in to play.”

They shifted uneasily at his choice of words. Jack had forgotten about the bucket sitting innocently by the door.

“Don’t feel bad.” Jeremy said. “Wasn’t actually you. Oh, Geoff, I almost forgot.” Jeremy took off Geoff’s watch and slid it into Geoff’s front pocket. “I should give this back too. And since we’re all on the same side now, we need to start following your plan, Geoff.”

“Uhhh…” Geoff said.

 “We don’t even know what that is though!” Michael said. “You said you’d spill the beans, but all we know is you’re stuck in the same sci-fi bullshit we were.”

“When I can, I’ll tell you everything. _Everything_ , I promise. But I actually have a really good reason why you have to wait.”

“Why?”

“Can’t tell you.”

“Fuck you, Jeremy.”

“Yeah, right back at you Michael. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Jeremy walked past everyone and towards the door, which Gavin had left open.

Geoff called after him. Jack and Ryan took a few threatening steps towards him.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Geoff said. “We are in _no way_ done talking here. Just because we let you up doesn’t mean you can leave. It just means we trust you not to kill us.”

“I’m just going up to the apartment to change the bandage over my bullet wound, and then I’m going to solve a few of your problems by myself.” Jeremy said. “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. Alone. If you know what I mean.” Jeremy raised his eyebrows at them.

“Jeremy, if you think we’re going to let you out of our sight for even a _second_ ”- Geoff warned.

“I get your concerns. Believe me, I do. But I think I need some space right now.”

The bucket was up and in Jeremy’s hands faster than Jack believed possible. He swung it in a quick motion, drenching Jack and Ryan. While they spluttered and reared back, Jeremy threw the bucket at Michael. It clipped his hand and made him drop the gun that was almost ready fire.

Jack heard the door swing shut and lock with a heavy click.

“It’s not you, it’s me!” Jeremy shouted, his voice just reaching them through the sound proofing.

Michael and Ryan rushed to the door, but it was locked fast. It would be almost impossible to break down. Jack would know- he helped install the room.

“The key!” Gavin shouted. “The key, Geoff!”

Geoff searched his pockets, even going so far as to turn them inside out, but the key was clearly with Jeremy.

“That fucking”- Michael kicked the door once, twice before throwing his hands up in defeat. “You asshole! You think you’ve been tortured by us before but you haven’t met _this. Michael. Yet_!”

“That little shit.” Jack said. He pulled out his phone but of course there was no signal. Not that he expected any under this much concrete. He cupped his hands over his mouth instead, and yelled.

“Why would Geoff want to lock _himself_ in here? I don’t understand what you’re trying to do! We believed you!”

“Geoff works in mysterious ways!” Jeremy shouted back. “I’ll come back for you in a few hours!” Jeremy’s voice, already faint, trailed away into nothing.

“You have to admit,” Ryan said once it was clear Jeremy had gone, “that was pretty clever.”

Geoff shot him a look.

“Shut the fuck up, Ryan. We wouldn’t be stuck in here if you didn’t want to untie him.”

“How can you blame _me_ for this? If Jeremy’s right this is all your stupid plan’s fault!”

“It wasn’t _me_ , me! It was some other me!”

“Well, other you is an idiot.”

Ryan slid down the wall to sit on the floor and pouted. Geoff sighed, releasing his anger, and joined him on the floor, careful not to sit too close because Ryan was dripping all over it. Michael paced along the far wall, holding his injured hand.

Jack reached out for it the next time he walked past. Gently poking around, he didn’t find any serious damage. Jack guessed Michael’s pride stung more than his hand.

“What the hell do we do now?” Michael spat. He was still fuming.

“We’ll just have to wait for Jeremy to come back.”

Gavin sat himself down in the chair Jeremy had recently vacated. He had Jeremy’s bag with him, and he rummaged around in it.

“Well,” Gavin said, pulling the pack of Uno cards from the bag, “At least we know what these are for now.”


	3. The Short End of the Stick

_Gavin clutched at Ryan’s arm._

_“But… Look, no, wait.” Gavin spluttered. “Please, you can’t just leave! Not now! Not when everything’s just started to work out!”_

_Ray sighed._

_“Vav, we’ve been through this”-_

_“But come on!” Gavin cried. “It shouldn’t work like that! You remember what Geoff and Jack keep saying?”_

_Ryan answered him, his voice soft and crackling like there was something stuck in his throat._

_“The rules don’t apply to us.”_

_His face was set in stone. He may as well have been wearing his mask._

 

*******

 

“Now you wouldn’t think it,” Gavin said, “But I can’t go.”

Two hours ago Geoff would have laughed, but all he could do now was sigh and play his own hand.

“Oh good.” Geoff said, and put down his last card, a blue five. “I’ll just go ahead and do that then.”

Jack, Ryan, and Gavin put their cards on the ground and groaned in relief.

“Thank _God_.” Jack said. “It’s over.”

They sat in a circle in the far corner of the room. The only one missing from the circle was Michael, who was sulking next to the door. Michael had taken Jeremy’s chair and positioned it next to the door, and sat waiting on it for when Jeremy came back. His hand rested on his pistol.

“Another round?” Ryan asked. He picked up the cards and began shuffling them. “Do you want to join in this time, Michael?”

Michael turned his head to acknowledge Ryan before returning his attention to the door.

Geoff took the cards from Ryan.

“Nope. Nuh-uh. No more Uno. I never want to play another game in my life.”

Gavin stretched his hands above his head and straightened his back.

“Jeremy’s gonna let us out of here and I’m gonna walk outside and see a bunch of Uno cards driving down the street. Cross the Uno to get to my Uno…”

There was a knock at the door.

The activity in the room shuddered to a halt. Michael rose from the chair, slowly to keep the noise to a minimum, and held his pistol at the ready.

“Um, guys?” Jeremy shouted. “You all still alive in there?”

“Oh you bet.” Geoff hollered back. “And we’re coming for your rim, Tim.”

He caught the faint sound of a nervous laugh from the other side of the door.

“I don’t doubt that, Geoff. I would be disappointed if you didn’t. So uh, did you have some time to think things over?”

“More than enough.” Jack replied. “How about you open the door and we can talk about this like adults?”

“Aha, no. Not until Michael leaves the door alone. If I open the door he’ll murder me. He’s done that more than once.”

Michael huffed and moved away from the door, but he was smirking a little.

“Good.”

A small hatch slid open on the bottom of the door. Jeremy’s hand made a brief appearance inside the room before darting back and shutting the hatch. In its wake sat five weird-looking cyan lumps.

Gavin picked one up and inspected it.

“What’s this, Jeremy?”

“A gift. Earpieces enhanced with alien technology. They’ll never run out of power, or fall out and get damaged, or lose signal. Most importantly, they can’t be listened in on secretly. Don’t ask me how. I’m just the delivery guy.”

Geoff picked one up. It was heavier than it looked, but that seemed to be a running trend for all pieces of alien technology. It sat comfortably enough in his ear though. No amount of pulling made it fall out until he pressed a symbol on the bottom of the earpiece.

“Hey,” Michael said. “I know that symbol. It’s the same one that does the lenses on the x-ray glasses.”

Jeremy hummed in agreement, and Geoff jerked when the sound came though crystal clear from the earpiece. The sound quality was so good that Jeremy may as well have been sitting just across from him.

Clearly these earpieces didn’t have the same reception problems their phones did. Can he get this tech on his phone?

“No, Geoff.” Jeremy said. “You can’t get this tech on your phone. I asked Gus about the earpieces one time and he said something about vibrating strings rather than waves, but I wasn’t really sure what he meant.”

Oh God. Did these earpieces pick up thoughts? A shiver went down Geoff’s spine.

“Please tell me these earpieces”-

-“Don’t read minds?” Jeremy finished for him. “No. I’ve just had this conversation before.”

Thank God for that.

“Jeremy,” Jack asked, “Where did you get these?”

“Stole them from Prince James. He has a …” he paused for a moment. “…Very dedicated R&D Department. So much of the tech from his space ship was damaged beyond use, but his people have made-do with what they’ve got.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Prince James has spent months testing and developing the tech as best he can. Burnie’s file says I was hired on as a bodyguard, but test subject is a more accurate description. I filched the earpieces and hid them before I saved your asses from the exploding dinghy.”

“And what,” Jack continued, “You just tested tech for him for months until you decided it wasn’t the career path you wanted?”

Jeremy went quiet on the other end. He took a sharp breath of air.

“What do you think, Jack?” Jeremy said, the words well-rehearsed and soft. “Did you think I would willingly let myself be used like that?”

Jack had no reply.

“Do you think I like _any_ part of this situation?” Jeremy spat. His words came through faster, like they were in a hurry to escape his mouth. “Forcing you to play the part, over and over again to keep you alive but knowing you’ll die in the end, no matter what I do? It’s like watching a movie where all your favourite characters die at the end.” He took a shaking breath. “The things James did to me, they almost broke me. Almost. I’m not gonna let _this_ finish me off.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Ryan said gently. “This can’t be part of your usual spiel.”

Jeremy sighed.

“Because Geoff shaved his moustache.”

Geoff scratched at his beard.

“What the fuck does my moustache have to do with anything?”

“Because I got shot because of it. And then because I was careless, I got shot _again_ and I’m probably gonna bleed out on the floor here. It’s not gonna matter.”

“Ah,” Gavin piped up, “would you mind unlocking the door before you do?”

“I’m tossing it up. Not sure if Michael’s gonna finish me off if I do.” His words were starting to slur.

“ _I_ promise not to kill you, even if it’s your fault we’re here in the first place.” Gavin replied.

“But now you have the earpieces, Trevor and Mica’s lives are saved, and about two dozen Colmillo Blanco thugs are dead. You didn’t even have to _do_ anything! You should really be thanking me.”

“Wait,” Geoff said, “What exactly have you been doing while we’ve been here playing Uno?”

“Setting things up. Things that you would have gotten in the way for. Things it’s not safe for you to know about yet.”

“How about you let us out, and we promise not to murder you in return for telling us what these things are?”

“No can do, sorry.”

Geoff let out an angry groan. “Come on, man. Are they such a big deal that you’d die for them?”

“I’ve died for them before.”

“How about,” Jack said, “you promise to open the door if I promise to stop you bleeding to death. Does that sound like a fair trade?”

“I’ve…” Jeremy started, a little unsure, “never done this like that before.”

“You’ve also never been shot twice before. Well, and lived.”

“I’ll do it if you make sure Michael doesn’t kill me.”

Jack looked at Geoff. Geoff looked at Michael.

Michael screwed up his face, but relented.

“Fine. But the moment he even _looks_ like he’s gonna fuck with us, I’m popping him.”

“That’s fair.” Jeremy said.

There was silence for about fifteen seconds before the metal door unlocked with a loud _clunk_. The door opened a fraction, hung in the air uncertain, but then swung open the rest of the way. Jeremy’s pale face, shaking legs, and blood-streaked clothes faced them.

“Okay,” Geoff said, “Jack, Ryan, you two take him up to the apartment. Michael, Gavin”-

Gavin rushed past him and out the door.

“Sorry! Bathroom!”

-“Michael, make sure Jeremy doesn’t try anything once we’re in the apartment.”

“It will be my genuine pleasure, boss.” Michael replied.

 

*******

 

Jeremy had already been in the apartment. The couch had been moved in front of the front door and various curtains were drawn, but not all of them. Geoff gave Jeremy a look and the injured man gave a shrug as a reply.

“How did you get in?”

“You gave me one of the codes to the door in another dimension.”

Geoff rubbed a hand over his face. “Of course I did.”

Jack and Ryan set him down on a chair in the kitchen. Michael and Ryan stood on either side while Jack collected his medical equipment. Geoff pulled up an identical chair and set up in front of him, chair facing backwards and Geoff’s arms resting over the back. He slumped, his chin falling to rest on his folded arms.

“Nowhere to run now, Jeremy. I think we can have nice, long, uninterrupted chat while Jack puts you back together.”

“You do know your apartment’s bugged, right? The spy in your ranks will hear everything I say?”

Geoff deflated further into his chair.

“You wouldn’t happen to know who the spy is, would you?”

Jeremy nodded.

“Nope, not yet.”

Geoff would wait until he was out of the bugged apartment to share that information Jack and Gavin. But as an extra measure…

“Ryan, you’ve placed a few bugs in your time. Search the apartment. Oh, and when Gavin comes up, tell him to make a list of everyone who’s been in our apartment for the last four months.”

“Can do.” Ryan replied, and started to search.

Jack came back in with a first aid kit and checked Jeremy over.

“Where was the second shot?” Jack asked.

“Just below the first.”

After applying first aid and giving him a general once-over, Jack took a step back and stretched out his back.

“He’ll be fine.” Jack said, addressing Geoff. “His sluggishness is from the shock of the blood loss. But it’s not too serious. He won’t need a transfusion or anything, as far as I can tell. Kerry could say for certain.”

Geoff waved the suggestion away. “Nah, he’ll be fine.”

Jeremy snorted a laugh.

“Tis but a scratch. Had worse.”

Jack cracked a smile. “It’s just a flesh wound.”

“You be careful, or I’ll bite your legs off!”

“Ah, Monty Python. I should really watch _Holy Grail_ again.”

“Oh.” Jeremy said. “That’s where it’s from.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t seen _Monty Python and the Holy Grail?_ ”

“Nope. I haven’t seen a lot of movies.”

“Jeez, for a guy with practically infinite amount of time on his hands, you haven’t been using it right.”

“In a couple of days, when this is over, maybe we can watch it together.” Jeremy replied with a wink.

“Oh?” Jack said. “You’re thinking you’re gonna survive this reset then?”

Jeremy shrugged again, then winced.

“Well I feel a lot better than when I was sitting in a puddle of my own blood, that’s for sure.”

“So.” Geoff said. “What’s next then? You’re not going to tell us what we want to hear, and we’ve very nicely decided not to hurt you, what can you tell us then? If you weren’t up here, what would you be doing now?”

“Well,” Jeremy glanced at a clock on the wall, “I’d be convincing Michael here and the rest of you not to kill me for another twenty minutes at least. Then we all go out and deal with the rest of Colmillo Blanco before they can take out any of your own.”

“How?”

“Bullets, mostly. A few explosives. Jack, notably, with a computer monitor one time.”

Geoff ran a hand over his face.

“I’m thinking of the steps between now and then, thanks.”

“We hit the four- well, three locations you know about. I take the lead and give instructions because I know what’s coming. Then we move onto the next part.”

“Which is?”

Jeremy grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Geoff’s own pinched together.

“You’re enjoying this far too much for someone who just got shot twice.”

“I like to appreciate the little things.”

Gavin stepped into the kitchen and walked over to Geoff, his laptop held out in front of him like an offering.

“Here, the list of names. But no-one unusual has come in, not even a pizza delivery guy.”

Geoff took the laptop and scanned the list of names. Just the five of them mostly, with Ryan (not unusually) coming and going at all sorts of hours. The next common names were Lindsay and Mica, but Geoff trusted them absolutely. They’d proved themselves time and time again. Burnie and Barbara had come over once or twice for a game night, and even Gus had made a memorable appearance one late afternoon. The last name on the list was his, logged just over three hours ago, which had been Jeremy.

“Yep, nothing unusual there. We might have to go back further, or maybe we had a break in and”-

“Maybe we could go over this later?” Jeremy said. He half rose from his chair and Michael growled at him. He sat back down. “If we’re going to make it to the first location, we’ll need to leave soon.”

Geoff nodded. “Well, that’s what we were going to do anyway before we ran into you at Burnie’s. May as well bring you along. Alright, everyone get your shit together”-

“Really?” Michael said. Geoff dampened his annoyance at being cut off again. “You’re actually going to go along with whatever he says? The guy who’s been lying to and manipulating us since we first met him?”

“The guy took two bullets for us, Michael. And you listened to what he said before. I’m not going to ignore a guy who literally knows the future just because I’m mad he made me play Uno for three hours.”

Ryan quietly entered the room and shook his head at Geoff. Either Jeremy was lying and the apartment wasn’t bugged, or they were very well hidden. And he didn’t think Jeremy was lying.

“But he _said_ he was manipulating us”-

Ryan laid a hand on Michael’s shoulder, stilling his frantic movements. Michael shrugged the hand off and glared at Ryan. Ryan stared back at him, unflinching.

“ _Listen,_ Michael. Geoff is right. Jeremy had ample time to kill us and he didn’t. He’s made it clear he’s on our side, even if his methods are confusing. We can’t risk _not_ working with him.”

Michael continued to stare Ryan down, but Geoff knew him well enough to know his furrowed brows meant he was turning the situation over in his head. He looked grumpy, but after a few seconds he turned away from Ryan and threw up his hands.

“Fine! Whatever! We’ll just let this _stranger_ boss us around and do what he wants. I don’t fucking care!” He folded his arms.

Jeremy spoke up, soft and quiet from the chair.

“If I could do it another way, I would. I hate having to do all this shit, jump through the hoops, you know? I hate having one option and it fucking sucks. I thought you of all people would understand.”

“Why would I understand?”

“Because you’ve had to do awful, detestable things for the people you care about. Lindsay, in Arcadius. You had to let Ray leave.”

Michael took a dangerous step towards Jeremy.

“ _Don’t_ you _dare_ try to use them against me. _Ever._ ”

“I’m just saying, you had one option then and you have one option now. As much as I’m sure you’d like to murder me, you need me alive and I need _you_ alive, all of you.” Jeremy addressed the rest of the room. “You don’t have to like it, or me, for that matter. But I’m the one that knows the future. You do as I say, and we can all make it out of this alive.”

Michael turned and walked out of the kitchen with measured steps. Geoff caught a glimpse of the downright scary expression on his face and fought back the desire to shrink away from him. Gavin and Jack watched him go, concerned looks on their faces. Ryan stood stock still like he was caught between rushing after him or staying and defending Geoff’s decision.

God, what Jeremy said sounded so much like the situation between him and the Gents back in the early days of Zancudo. Michael had been extremely reluctant to let Geoff take the lead, but eventually he figured out it was the smart thing to do.

But they didn’t have the luxury of an infinite amount of resets to figure everything out. They had once chance and they couldn’t afford to screw it up.

Not for the first time, Geoff was thankful that all six of them (well, five now) became tied to the device in Zancudo. Even if it was frustratingly annoying sometimes, like the time Gavin died three times in a row trying to do a front flip on his bike, it would have been devastating if one or more of them didn’t reset with the rest of them. Having to explain over and over again what was going on, watching their confusion as the rest of them grew closer and closer without them. Making the same mistakes over and over again and not knowing why their crew suddenly felt like strangers in a blink of an eye.

Christ. Jeremy really did know them through and through. Did it hurt, every time one of them threatened him? Every distrusting look? The lack of recognition in their own eyes? Hell, when Ryan thought he was a dream when they’d just gotten out of Arcadius, his expression hurt more than the attempted strangulation. They’d talked about it privately, after, and smoothed things over, but if he was honest the situation still unsettled him. And sometimes he’d hear Ryan walking around the apartment late at night, checking the doors and windows were locked and making sure every weapon was put away safely in the gun room, and he’d wonder who Ryan was trying to protect them from.

Geoff had a craving for a drink so strongly and so suddenly he swore he could smell whiskey.

Instead of heading to the liquor cabinet, he found himself motioning for everyone else to stay put and followed after Michael.

For the loudest person in the apartment, Michael was adept at not being found if he didn’t want to be. Geoff checked all the bathrooms, Michael’s private room, the main bedroom, and the roof, before finding him in Ray’s old room. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrunching the fabric of the blanket under his fingers.

Geoff leaned against the doorframe.

“Hey, kiddo. You doing alright?”

Michael inclined his head as a reply, but didn’t face Geoff. His arms were straining against the fabric so hard they were shaking.

“Jeremy reminds me of _him_.” Michael spat.

“Ray?”

“No, fuck no. The Inconvenience. The whole”- Michael released one of his hands to gesture aggressively –“I know you better than you know yourself shtick. Wah, wah, do what I say or terrible things happen. Except The Inconvenience never figured out that Ray, Gavin, and I were in a relationship, or how you and the other Gents were close to that point as well. He couldn’t use you against me like that.”

“But Jeremy can.”

“And he has. And I don’t like how quickly the rest of you are just… going along with it. Ryan, Jack, and Gavin don’t seem to have many reservations.”

Geoff scoffed, and sat down next to Michael.

“They’re giving him, and me, the benefit of the doubt. It’s not like we’re leaving you behind or anything. We’re not abandoning you for him.”

“No, no, I know you would never do that. I don’t know, it’s hard to articulate. I… don’t want to get swept away in whatever he has planned.”

“Then do I have the solution for you, bud.” Geoff pulled Michael towards him and he came eagerly, wrapping his arms around Geoff while he returned the gesture. Geoff brought one of his hands up to rest in Michael’s hair, his tattoos becoming obscured by curls, and spoke softly into Michael’s ear.

“You make sure you keep a close eye on him. Make sure you’re watching when no-one else is, when he thinks he’s alone, and then you’ll know for certain. If you can’t bring yourself to trust his words, judge him by his actions.”

Michael nodded into Geoff’s chest. He seemed to be a bit more relaxed now with a plan of action.

Their movements had dislodged a bit of dust from the bedspread, and Geoff wrinkled his nose. They didn’t come in here often for obvious reasons, but occasionally someone would and open a window, or retrieve a game or gadget that Ray left behind. Ray hadn’t brought much with him when he moved in with the other Lads, and most of it followed him when he left. A few things he left behind- a shelf of games and a wall covered in posters, a few boxes of ammunition, a couple of pieces of clothing. His mug still sat in one of the kitchen cupboards, gathering dust next to the wine glasses. Geoff had found a pair of his shoes sitting next to his favourite spot on the roof just last week, and had put them back in his wardrobe.

It was funny how little reminders of a person could keep turning up like that.

“If he tries anything,” Michael replied, “I’ll stop hm.”

Somebody knocked on the doorframe. Gavin’s head peeked into the open space with a worried look. He looked like he was about to ask if they were okay but a glance from Geoff assuaged his concerns. Instead, he asked a different question.

“So uh, we’ve been getting ready to hit Colmillo Blanco and we’re almost there. Are we allowed to give Jeremy a gun or something, or…?”

“Yeah, that should be fine. He’s had the chance to kill us and hasn’t yet. Tell him to knock his socks off in the gun room. Wait for us by the cars, we’ll join you when we’re ready. I need to call Burnie first and update him about all the shit that just happened.”

“Jack’s been filling him in. As soon as he remembered to turn his phone back on he’s been slayed with calls.”

“Oh yeah, fuck.” Geoff fumbled around for his phone and turned it on. He was greeted with an alarming amount of missed calls and texts. “Shit.”

“Oh and,” Gavin continued, “what Jeremy told us about Trevor and Mica turned out to be true. Jack’s talked to Trevor.”

“That’s good.” Geoff said. “I feel like I’m making less of a giant fucking mistake letting him come with us.”

“Do you?” Michael asked.

“Do I what?”

“Feel like you’re making a giant fucking mistake.”

Geoff frowned. “Not… yet.”

 

*******

 

They took two cars, Geoff’s Roosevelt and Jack’s Entity XF, and headed towards Little Seoul. The area was a little less extravagant than some of its neighbours, but the houses were still up market. It was situated only a little west of Downtown, after all. Geoff drove while Michael and Jeremy sat in the back, watching the light from the streetlights pass over them. The evening rush hour was almost over, and while there was a little traffic Geoff knew his way around well enough to avoid the worst of it.

“Do we have a plan yet, Geoff?” Jack asked. Geoff looked to his right and was a little surprised to see an empty seat. Right, the earpieces.

“Uh,” Geoff replied. “Jeremy? Do we have a plan?”

Jeremy mimed shooting a gun. “Turn up and shoot. It’s not going to be difficult, they’re not expecting us or anything. Once we’re all inside I’ll give directions through the earpieces.”

Geoff nodded, and turned down an alleyway off the main road. “Did you guys get that?”

“Yep.” Jack said.

“Loud and clear.” Ryan said.

“Jeremy,” Gavin said, “Million dollars, but every bit of furniture you touch turns into prop furniture and breaks.”

“Gavin.” Geoff said. “Did you hear the plan?”

“Yeah, yeah. Jeremy, you listening?”

“What?” Jeremy said. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Geoff smacked his hand on the steering wheel. Twice.

“You get a million dollars”-

-“Oh yeah, I remember this one. Nope, couldn’t take it.”

“Awww.” Gavin said. “Why not?”

“Even though it would be a useful as shit ability, replacing everything would get too expensive. As tempting as it would be to tap your desk and have all your expensive hacking shit fall everywhere.”

“Do you think you could, say, axe-kick a desk in half?”

“I dunno. We should”-

-“Alright shut up.” Geoff said. “We’re here. Everyone get out and start shooting.”

Geoff brought the car to a stop at the end of the alley. Jack pulled up behind him just as they were ready and they crossed the road a little ahead of him, rifles casually slung over their shoulders. Geoff himself had a shotgun.

Across the road, sandwiched between an apartment complex and an industrial complex, sat the Colmillo Blanco safehouse. Two guys worked on a car resting on the driveway, listening to some shitty music from a phone. As soon as they saw Geoff and the others approach them, they swore and bolted inside the garage. A gunshot and a brief whiff of gunpowder later, and one of them fell to the ground.

“One for me.” Ryan said.

“Jesus Christ Vagabond.” Michael muttered. “We’re not even across the road yet.”

“You’re just grumpy because you’re losing.”

Jack and Ryan swept the garage and once they were sure it was clear, headed inside the house proper. Footsteps and curses echoed down from the second storey. Geoff followed them through and looked around. Just a typical safehouse, with bloodied coats hanging over chairs in the living room, fake IDs littering the kitchen table, and- _hello_. A huge duffel bag filled to the fucking brim with cash. Geoff broke out in a grin.

“Why hello there.” Geoff said, then raised his voice. “Just got back from a heist, did we? I love heists!”

The noises from upstairs quietened. The silence was followed with two short burst of fire on the ground floor.

“This level’s clear.” Ryan said.

“Three dead down here.” Jack confirmed. “I think there’s three more upstairs. Jeremy?”

“Yep. You and the Vagabond are fine to head on up.”

“Geoff?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, go on up if he says it’s fine.”

Floorboards directly above Geoff’s head creaked. He craned his head up.

“Amateurs.” Geoff aimed his shotgun at the ceiling.

Jeremy tapped his shoulder and pointed to a spot a little to the left. He lowered his hands to his crotch and mimed a pained expression. Geoff adjusted his aim and fired.

The thug above let out a shriek and thumped against the floor, groaning. Geoff _tsk-tsked_ and reloaded the shotgun.

“They let any idiot go out on a heist nowadays. What sort of show is Colmillo Blanco running these days? Disgraceful.”

Michael held a hand over his mouth to cover his smile.

A shadow darkened the room briefly, followed by a muted thud. Geoff swung his gun around towards the threat, but saw nothing.

“Guy jumped out the window.” Jeremy told him. “We’ve got a runner.”

“I got him.” Michael said, raising his sights to eye level and walking to the window. He looked down and fired a single shot, shattering the glass and filling the house with the sounds of the neighbourhood.

“Didn’t look like he was gonna get far anyway.” Michael spat out the window. “One - all, Vagabond.”

A few shots from upstairs.

“It’s three – one actually, Michael.”

Michael pouted. “Don’t call me Ashley Michael.”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

Geoff retrieved the duffel bag and sorted through the stacks of cash. Good God, there had to be three hundred thousand in there, at least. What a nice bonus.

“Awww gross!” Gavin shouted from the entryway.

Jack laughed. “I sent him a picture of the crotch-shot guy.”

Geoff smirked.

Jack and Ryan hauled the last thug down the stairs and into the kitchen. They propped him up on one of the chairs and aimed their weapons at him. He had a bullet hole in his leg, which was bleeding all over the tiles. He didn’t look like he would last much longer.

“You wanna talk to him, Geoff?” Ryan asked.

Geoff shrugged. “Not particularly. I mean, anything he knows Jeremy already does too, right?”

“Yeah.” Jeremy said.

The dying man spat out a mouthful of blood onto the tiles.

“I doubt it.” He rasped. “The hideout of our boss is a well-kept secret. If you let me live, I can”-

-“It’s at the corner of Innocence and El Rancho Boulevard.” Jeremy cut him off.

The dying man, impossibly, grew paler.

“Alright,” Geoff said, “That’s everything I need to know.”

Jeremy planted his pistol right between the dying man’s eyes and gave him a quick death. The body slid off the chair and splattered against the blood-soaked tiles.

Gavin joined them in the kitchen. His eyes lit up when he saw the bag of money.

“That’s a lovely little bonus, isn’t it,” he said as he stepped over the dead body.

“We’ll get back everything Colmillo Blanco took from us.” Jack said. “Tomorrow, hopefully. I can hear my bed calling to me.”

“Not yet,” Jeremy said. “We hit the others tonight and you’ll get one of the red-masked leaders.”

“There’s more than one?” Ryan said.

“There’s three.”

“Who are they?”

Jeremy shrugged. “No fucking idea. I don’t usually stop shooting long enough to ask names.”

Sirens sounded in the distance. Geoff heaved the duffel bag over his shoulder.

“Okay- done here. Can somebody call Lindsay and ask her where the next safehouse”-

-“It’s in Backlot City.” Jeremy interjected. He rubbed a hand over his bandaged arm.

“The movie production place?” Geoff clarified.

“Do you know another Backlot City?”

Geoff pretended to be taken aback.

“Oh, the _sarcasm._ Right to your bosses face.”

“You’re not my boss if you don’t pay me.”

Michael pulled a face.

“We can leave before or after the cops get here. I wouldn’t mind getting into another firefight but, you know, we have places to be.”

“Technically”- Ryan started. Jeremy cut him off.

“Ryan, if you say ‘technically, those are the only times we can leave’, Michael will punch you.”

“Noted.”

“You’re welcome.”

 

*******

 

“Did you know,” Geoff lectured, “that this is where they filmed _Meltdown_ and _Capolavoro_?”

“Yep.” Jeremy said.

“No.” Michael said.

“Nah.” Ryan said.

“Yep. And,” Jack said, “They also filmed _The Loneliest Robot in Great Britain_ here.”

“Good to know.” Geoff replied. “Great movie. Loved Charlie Fleming in it.”

“No, she was in _Meltdown_.” Jack corrected.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll just look it up to be sure.”

Jeremy groaned.

“Jack’s right. She played Miranda Cowan.”

Geoff glanced back at him in the backseat. “I thought you said you didn’t watch a lot of movies?”

Jeremy huffed a laugh. “Eternal time loop, remember? You and Jack just had that conversation so much I memorised the info. I haven’t actually seen _any_ of the movies you’ve talked about.”

“Wait wait,” Michael said, “You haven’t even seen _The Loneliest Robot_?”

“Nope. Which was filmed in Britain, by the way. Not the movie studio here.”

“All these resets and you haven’t spent a single one watching movies?”

“Funnily enough, I was too busy trying to, and then trying to stop, your asses getting murdered. I figured that took priority.”

“I have a question about that, actually.” Ryan said. “Why did you have such a hard time murdering us when Colmillo Blanco set up such a nice trap? It would have been easy to pick us off then and there.”

“Bit morbid, Ryan.” Jack said.

“It’s a fair question.” Jeremy replied. “And that is because I actually set the whole thing up with Colmillo Blanco.”

Geoff almost swerved off the road.

“That was _you?!_ ” Geoff growled.

“What the _hell_ , Jeremy?” Gavin yelled. Geoff winced at the volume though the earpiece.

“I had a good reason for it!” Jeremy yelled, his voice almost drowned out by the angry chatter over the comms.

“Oh you’d _better_.” Geoff said. “And no more of this ‘I can’t tell you’ crap. You spill the beans or I crash this car into a semi going the other way.”

“Okay, okay! Chill out!”

“I am as chill as a person should be in this situation!”

“Look, Colmillo Blanco was going to make an ambush anyway- just later. Starting things today makes them rush it and make mistakes. Something you should all be thankful I didn’t learn when I was still trying to kill you. I can tell you, I was _so_ frustrated after I made that decision to help and realised you would have died anyway if I’d just been more patient.”

Geoff brings his eyes back to the road. His hands are gripping the wheel so tight he’s pretty sure the leather’s damaged. “Colmillo Blanco kills us?”

“They get all of you in once place, surrounded by enemies. The last time I let them do it, it ended up with you in a coma and Gavin with a broken leg. Easy pickings.”

Geoff frowned, thinking. Okay, it made sense. He didn’t like it, but then again he didn’t have to. If Jeremy was lying, Jack would tell him. And if Jeremy wasn’t lying, how could he hate a plan that he came up with himself? And if it all worked out for the better, what was the damned problem then?

“Fine, _fine_ , Jeremy. I understand. You were saving our lives, just in a less direct way than we thought. Moving on. What do we do once we get to Backlot City?”

“Sneak in and gain access to a certain stage. A storage room in there has about eight hundred thousand dollars worth of heroin stashed there. We burn it and go.”

“I don’t have my hacking equipment.” Gavin said. “How are we getting access?”

“Easy. I already know the password.”

“Of course.”

“Of course. And since it’s…”

Geoff looked down at his wrist and, finding it empty, sighed.

“… Just going on 10pm,” Jeremy continued, “it should be mostly deserted. Just the animators working late. Makes it easy for our less stealth-inclined to get around.”

“Heroin.” Jack said. “Nasty drug.”

“Jack,” Michael said, “We sell cocaine.”

“Well, not any more. Some prick burned down our supply, remember?”

“We’re here.” Geoff said. “Get out. Stay low and find a place to climb the back wall.”

Backlot City was more like a small town rather than a city, and it was in decline. What had once been a booming industry was now little more than a ghost town, and maybe half the houses had lights on. Rubbish collected in gutters and too many streetlights sat broken.

The studio itself wasn’t doing much better. The back wall in mention had smatterings of graffiti and a fair few cracks running along its length. A tree had fallen in the big storm a week ago and damaged the bricks, and the tree had been cut down and collected in a pile next to the wall. A few lights lit up one of the tallest buildings, but it was a fair distance from the filming areas and unless things went disastrously wrong the occupants would be none the wiser until it all went up in flames.

Geoff ran a hand over the bark of the tree for good luck just in case. God knows nothing ever goes according to plan around this lot.

Jeremy pointed out a pile of refuse left over from the storm. He kicked away a few twigs and bits of rubbish from the edge of the pile and revealed a damaged oil drum. He pulled it out of the refuse with his good hand.

“Stand this up next to the wall.” Jeremy instructed. “Gavin can make the jump to the wall if he has a good run up.”

Jack positioned the drum against the wall while Gavin waited a few metres away. He ran and jumped, kicking off the barrel and managed to grab the top of the wall. He climbed up sat on the top.

“No-one around.” Gavin said, looking around with bright eyes. “Should be fine for everyone to come up.”

“We don’t need to keep a lookout, do we?” Geoff said.

“Nah.” Jeremy replied. “No-one will see the cars.”

Michael climbed the wall next, taking hold of Gavin’s leg and hauling himself up and over the wall. Jack, Ryan, and Geoff quickly followed him.

When it was Jeremy’s turn to climb, he grabbed at Gavin’s leg but his injured arm made contact with the wall. He grimaced and dropped back to the ground.

“I can’t.” Jeremy said. “Not with my arm as it is. I can try directing you from out here”-

-“Like hell you will.” Geoff said. “Come on, jump up. I’ll grab you.”

Jeremy took a second run up and jumped off the oil drum. Geoff caught him by his good arm and hauled him over the wall with his other hand scrunched up in his shirt collar. Jack made sure Geoff didn’t go over himself with a solid hand planted on his back.

When they went over Geoff was confronted with a mop of purple hair directly under his chin. He caught a whiff of smoke and sweat, as well as a hint of… diesel?

The other side of the wall was some sort of restaurant set, with tables and chairs set in neat rows. They stood on a large one, raised on a platform. Distant spotlights cast long shadows across the set. Geoff felt a little exposed, and stepped off the table. Too open, and too many obstacles for someone (Gavin) to accidentally kick.

“There’s no-one anywhere near here.” Jeremy said, not bothering to keep his voice low. “There’ll be two guards once we get to Stage 5, but we won’t hit anyone until then.”

“Anyone inside?” Ryan asked.

“Nope. But once we light the heroin people will notice pretty quickly.”

“How well does heroin burn anyway?”

“You pour enough gas on it and it doesn’t matter.”

Jeremy led the way out of the set and through the havoc that was a film studio. Geoff was pretty sure they passed a statue of Master Chief lurking next to a Stage, but it might have been his eyes playing tricks on him.

True to Jeremy’s word, they did not pass anyone until they reached Stage 5. They crouched down next to Stage 4 and observed the two guards waiting outside. They looked like regular studio personnel except for the unmistakable shapes of rifles strapped to their backs. Members of Colmillo Blanco then.

“Gav,” Geoff whispered, “send them our way, would you?”

“You got it.”

Gavin truly had a gift for misdirection. Geoff didn’t know how he did it, but Gavin could always draw every eye in the room if he wanted to. It must be the British accent, or his sharp eyes or even sharper tongue. Whatever it was, it worked, because he swanned out into the open exactly like he belonged there- entitled, demanding, and far too full of himself to actually be a threat to the guards. So they followed where he pointed, playing the part of studio personnel right up until Ryan stabbed one in the back and Michael disposed of the other.

Jeremy punched a code into the door and ushered them inside. Geoff tripped over a cord or something and smacked his shoulder into a wall. Funnily enough, it was very dark inside the Stage with the lights off at night. Who would have thought.

“We can have a torch on in here.” Jeremy said. “But if you follow me we can get to the heroin without knocking anything over.”

“Lead the way.” Geoff said.

Geoff followed the faint outline of Jeremy as he made his way to the back of the Stage. Someone ran a hand down his back and he started, before the hand tugged at the bottom of his shirt and Geoff realised it was probably Gavin using him for balance.

The air changed as they entered a different room. Everything, impossibly, grew darker, so Geoff fumbled his phone out and turned on the torch app, squinting at the light. He inadvertently shined it in Ryan’s eyes and he flinched away, stumbling backwards and tripping on something.

“Jeez Geoff, be careful with that.”

“I’m holding a shotgun and you’re worried about the light?”

“You don’t shine the fucking gun in my eyes.” Ryan replied, getting back on his feet. “What did I just land on?”

“The heroin.” Jeremy said. Geoff shined the light over where Ryan had fallen and there were two boxes on the ground.

“That’s it?” Michael said. “Two lousy boxes? That’s eight hundred thousand dollars worth of heroin?”

“Yeah. There’s about ten kilos of heroin in those boxes.” Jeremy explained. “It doesn’t look like much, but it is what it is. Now if you don’t mind, can you help me get the gas? It’s all rigged up in the machines they’re using and you know more about this sort of stuff than I do.”

Michael narrowed his eyes, but shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

Jeremy led Michael back to the main room. The other four waited for them to return.

“Should someone have gone with them?” Jack said.

“Michael knows what he’s doing.” Geoff replied. “If Jeremy was hoping to ambush us once we were alone, Michael would be the last person he’d pick.”

Gavin pushed one of the boxed with his foot. “You know, it shouldn’t be too hard to take both of these with us. Chuck ‘em over the wall and try to make some of our money back.”

“It would send a strong message.” Jack said. “Taking the drugs and just leaving the studio as it is.”

‘Yeah, but,” Geoff said, “I wanna burn the studio down though.”

“An equally valid point. We can do both: take the drugs and burn this place to the ground.”

Geoff cracked a smile. “I like the sound of that.”

Another light flickered to life. This one was small and yellow, and in Ryan’s hands.

“Jesus Ryan.” Jack said. “A bit eager are we?”

“It’s not every day you get to burn down a film studio.”

Jeremy and Michael returned a few minutes later with an oil drum between them. Michael’s shoulders were shaking, as if he’d been laughing at something Jeremy said.

“There’s been a change of plans.” Geoff told them. “We’re taking the drugs.”

“Bad idea.” Jeremy said. He pulled something from his pant pocket, a small vial. “You don’t want this heroin traced back to you.”

“Why not?” Ryan asked.

Jeremy pulled a brick of heroin out of one of the boxes. Sprinkling a smattering of heroin into the tube and shaking it so it mixed with the liquid inside, Jeremy held the vial up to Geoff’s light. The liquid had turned yellowy-orange.

“This test tells you the purity of heroin.” Jeremy explained. “The redder it is, the higher the heroin concentration. And this is not very red. People will get very angry if you try to sell them this.”

“And you know this…” Geoff stopped. “I’m not even gonna ask you how you know that. I can make a guess.”

“You’re learning!”

“Eventually things do make it through my thick skull.”

Ryan held up his lighter. “Less talking, more burning.”

“Fine, fine. Burn this building to the ground.” Geoff said. “Wait until we’re not in it, if you don’t mind.”

“I can’t make that promise.”

Jeremy showed them where the most flammable objects in the Stage were, while Michael and Jack covered every surface in gas. Geoff, Gavin, and Ryan stacked the objects in a large pile in the centre of the room.

“We should bring the bodies in too.” Geoff said. “It’ll look a bit more gruesome.”

Ryan and Jack dragged them inside while Gavin tried not to gag. With everything ready, Michael emptied the last of the drum in a long trail leading out the door.

“Are we all set?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah.” Geoff said. “Go for it.”

Ryan bent down and lit the end of the trail with his lighter. Flames raced down the trail and lit the interior. The crackle of the flames grew into a roar as the main pile of fuel caught and began to burn in earnest.

“Bit anticlimactic, Ryan.” Gavin said. “I would have lit it with a flare or something.”

“You can bun the next building down, if I’m doing such a bad job.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Geoff watched the flames grow higher and higher through the door. They would have to get out of here soon, obviously, but Geoff needed to make sure the fire would destroy the building. He’d lit enough buildings to know that you didn’t need to worry about bricks or stone slowing a fire. As soon as it reached the ceiling you could pretty much write the building off. If it wasn’t completely up to code or was made from old materials, as things in Los Santos are wont to be, a good blaze could burn through it in minutes and collapse the ceiling.

Sparks rained down from the main room. The ceiling insulation had caught aflame.

“Okay, it’s gonna go.” Geoff shouted over the flames. “Good work everyone. Next round’s on me.”

They quickly backed away from the flames and ran towards the fake restaurant. Jeremy hesitated when they reached the wall, but Ryan grabbed him around the waist and hauled him up. Jack took Jeremy’s uninjured hand and helped him over the wall and to the ground on the other side. When he’d stood up properly on the other side, it was the first time Geoff had seen him look surprised.

“Oh uh,” Jeremy stammered, “t-thanks.”

Ryan winked in response.

Michael and Gavin, in the meanwhile, had climbed on top of Geoff’s Roosevelt.

“Holy shit!” Michael yelled. ”Take that, you bastards! I hated _Capolavoro!_ ”

“Also not filmed here.” Jeremy added.

“Look at that up there!” Gavin shouted, pointing. “It’s spreading pretty bloody quickly.”

Already an orange glow was lighting the side of one of the closer buildings. A few seconds later and something _crashed_ and a wall of embers rose into the sky. An alarm sounded from the animation building.

“Okay, we should _really_ go now.” Geoff said. “I’m too tired to get into a shootout with the cops.”

“Wait, wait.” Gavin said. “Lemme get my phone! I want to film it.”

“Jesus Christ Gavin we do not have time for this.” Geoff said, and snatched Gavin’s phone out of his hands. He tossed it in the backseat of his car while Gavin griped about it.

“That’s brand new!”

“Oh shut up, it’s fine.”

“You want to know why it’s brand new?” Michael said, climbing in the backseat. Gavin followed him in to retrieve his phone. “Because he shot his old one. Stupid, stupid.” Michael gave an exaggerated sigh.

“Oi, it was for science you know!”

“You’re not a scientist, you’re an idiot. A savage animal idiot.”

“I’ll get you back for that.”

“What are you gonna do? Throw you phone at me?”

Geoff could only shake his head and laugh.

“You guys ready? Jack?”

“Yep, Ryan and Jeremy are with me.”

The first sirens sounded in the distance. Geoff pulled away and headed towards the closest main road, Jack right behind him.

“I’m actually having a really good time tonight.” Geoff said. “Gunfights, fire, sticking it to Colmillo Blanco.”

“They’ve had it coming.” Ryan said, and Geoff could hear the regret in his voice.

“They had it coming all along!” Jack, Michael, and Jeremy sang.

“Cause if they used us!”

“And they abused us!”

“How could you tell us that we were wrong!” Geoff joined in, right at the end. Fuck, now he wanted to watch _Chicago_ again.

“Okay, okay.” Geoff said. “Serious attack planning time. Where are we headed?”

“Uhhh…” Jeremy replied, helpfully.

“The Port of South Los Santos.” Jack said. “That’s the only safehouse of theirs that I know.”

“Jeremy?”

“Hmmm?”

“Does that sound about right?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Wait, Jeremy.” Gavin said. “Haven’t you done this thousands of times before? How can you possibly not know where we’re going next?”

“Look, pal, we go to a lot of places.”

“Can we stop for a burger first?” Ryan asked suddenly. “It’s like eleven at night and we never had dinner, so…”

“Food sounds good.” Jack said.

“I’m fucking _starving_.” Michael added. “Burgers, Geoff. Burgers.”

“Alright. Burgers, and then we finish dealing a serious blow to Colmillo Blanco operations. Is that acceptable to everyone?”

“I’m setting you a waypoint on the GPS.” Gavin said.

“It’s settled then.”

 

*******

 

When Geoff inevitably failed to follow the path Gavin set for him, they ended up following Jeremy’s suggestion to a new burger place that none of them had heard of before. Armed now with coffee and Red Bull, they descended upon the Port.

Jack pointed out a small warehouse once they were on the bridge in. Headlights off, they parked a short distance away near the shipping containers. Behind them, a cargo ship cast a long shadow across the Port. Lights from the city glittered on the water. It was pretty, but it smelled like diesel and rubbish and Geoff wrinkled his nose.

 “There’s three thugs on the second storey.” Jeremy told them. “One at the door by the ground entrance, and about a dozen guys inside, including the mask-guy. Half of them are asleep, and we’ll have some time to take out the armed ones before they’re ready. Except one of them is really good at chucking dinner plates- he’s the one in the red bandanna. Watch out for him.”

“Are you pulling my leg?” Gavin asked.

“Physically or metaphorically? Look, no to both. He’s real and he’s a real bitch.”

Someone, either Ryan or Jack, had given him a silencer to attach to his pistol. Geoff had decided to leave his shotgun in the Roosevelt and also silenced his pistol. Everyone else had suppressors on their rifles. They would keep the element of surprise as long as they could.

“We good?” Geoff asked. Everyone nodded. “Alright then.”

The four thugs outside the building were taken out at once. Michael, Jack, Ryan, and Jeremy each picked one and fired four shots almost simultaneously. They dropped, one even going so far as to tumble over the balcony on the second storey and hit the ground with a wet _crack_. Gavin winced at the sound.

No shouts from inside. Jack searched the thug near the door and found a key. He unlocked it and slowly pushed it open.

There was a guy waiting just inside. He raised his hand in greeting, expecting his friend to walk through the door. Before his smile had finished falling Jack had smacked him with the butt of his rifle and the guy collapsed to the ground. The rest of them filed in and spread out.

Geoff spotted two men in the breakroom before they managed to spot him and he took them down neatly. Gavin followed him, checking behind them periodically. They swept two more rooms on the ground floor but didn’t encounter anyone else. It seemed as if the bottom level had been converted to a living space for Colmillo Blanco men. The top level probably had as well.

An explosion rocked the warehouse. Geoff and Gavin crouched, steadying themselves with hands on the wall.

“Was that us?” Geoff said over the comms.

“My bad!” Ryan replied.

“What the fuck happened to ‘the element of surprise’?”

“I saw the bandanna guy and panicked.”

Shouts rose up from the back of the warehouse. A few scattered shots echoed through the room. Christ alive, Ryan. Geoff tucked his pistol into his pants and drew his Glock. The stealth route would have to be abandoned- but then again it usually did. The FAHC had never been known for their subtlety.

More gunshots. Geoff sighed and kicked the next door in.

Three thugs in the room turned to face the noise but Michael came in from somewhere else and tackled one to the ground. Jeremy and Ryan let loose on the remaining two and they fell in twin sprays of blood. Michael smashed the third thug’s head against the hard floor, making an awful crunching noise.

“Where’s Jack?” Ryan asked.

Jeremy pointed in the direction of the stairs. “He’s upstairs with the mask-guy.”

“We’ve got to go help him then.” Gavin said, and took off for the stairs. The others followed him.

“Wait.” Jeremy said, putting a hand on Geoff’s shoulder. “Not you.”

“Why not?”

“Go up the external stairs and head to the back. Be sneaky. You’ll find out.”

Geoff debated it, but relented. “Okay, fine.”

As soon as Geoff worked his way back through the rooms and to the door, two consecutive explosions rang out. Geoff stumbled and leaned against the doorframe. The racket continued and the floor shook. It sounded like part of the warehouse had collapsed.

“Everyone okay?”

“We’re fine.” Michael replied. “Mask-guy laid mines but Jeremy shot them.”

“Jack?” Geoff called over the comms. “Jack, you there?”

No response.

“Jack?!”

Geoff sprinted up the external stairs, only barely keeping his footsteps quiet, because Jack was up here and he wasn’t replying and he needed to get rid of that low awful feeling in his gut-

He came to a stop just outside the back window. Mask-guy had a gun pointed to Jack’s head. The rest of his crew and Jeremy held their hands above their heads, weapons discarded. None of them were facing the window.

“I’m gonna take fatso here down to my boat,” Mask-guy shouted, “and if any of you _move an inch_ , well, I bet Ramsey’ll pay for his corpse. The two of them are thick as thieves. Rumour is they’re fucking each other.”

Geoff raised his Glock sights to eye level, aimed, and fired. Mask-guy’s head exploded into a red paste. Jack stumbled forwards, turned around, and broke out in a grin at the sight of Geoff. The others lowered their arms and ran towards Jack.

It was over that quick.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Jack assured them. Geoff let his Glock drop and ran a shaking hand through his beard, stepping over the broken glass as he approached Jack.

“Thanks man.” Jack continued, and embraced Geoff. Geoff looked over Jack’s shoulder and met Jeremy’s eyes. It would have been faster, and probably safer, for Jeremy to have shot mask-guy from the window and not have bothered with convincing Geoff to go up outside. He was touched Jeremy did so- Geoff felt responsible for his crew’s safety, as he should, and it was kind of Jeremy to acknowledge that.

Something of that must have been conveyed in his expression, because Jeremy nodded and looked away.

The floor groaned. Loud crashing sounds emanated from the front of the warehouse. The glass shards bounced on the floor.

“Stupid Mask-guy brought down his own warehouse.” Michael shouted over the din. “Who the fuck puts mines in buildings?!”

“Everybody, out the back.” Jeremy ordered, and this was, not surprisingly, followed by everyone. Geoff climbed back through the broken window and helped Jeremy through. The others followed them and they ran to the front of the warehouse.

The whole front façade had collapsed, thanks to Ryan and Mask-guy’s explosive efforts. The walkway felt significantly more rickety since Geoff last used it, and he was eager to get back on solid ground. At the stairs though, Jeremy stopped.

“What’s the holdup?” Gavin said. “If you haven’t noticed, the _warehouse is collapsing_.”

But Jeremy was looking pale, and his fingers were clenched tight around the handrail.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jeremy said, and swallowed. “I _hate_ stairs without the back part.”

“The risers.” Ryan informed him.

“Yeah, those.” Jeremy took a moment more and then, quickly and carefully, and with a strong grip on the handrail, descended. The others were quick to follow. As soon as they were on the asphalt they jogged a short distance away and inspected the damage.

“They’re gonna have to pull that one down.” Michael said, and whistled. “I think a few more grenades will finish the job. That back wall is still standing.”

“I’m surprised there’s not any police or emergency guys headed this way yet.” Jack commented, looking towards the bridge. Like most places at 1am, it was deserted. Geoff stifled a yawn.

“The damage might not be found until morning.” Ryan said. “The ocean might have swallowed most of the noise.”

“We should commit more crime here, then.” Geoff said. “I like the idea of the cops leaving me the fuck alone.”

“So are we done today, Geoff?” Michael asked.

“Are we done today, Jeremy?” Geoff asked.

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. We’ve still got a lot of shit to do, but it can wait a few hours while we get some sleep. Unless, of course, you still think this is all some giant, elaborate plot to murder you.”

Geoff looked at Michael. Michael inclined his head slightly.

“Nah,” Geoff said. “I think we’re all on the same page here.”

“Good.”

Jeremy pulled a sheet of paper out of his pocket and held it up.

_Keep talking. Give me everything on you that’s electronic._

Geoff frowned and gave Jeremy a long look. Jeremy stared steadily back at him.

“Yep. You can crash with us, Jeremy, if you don’t have another place to.” Geoff continued, and fished around his pockets for his phone. Ryan, Jack, and Michael were doing the same thing, Gavin a bit more reluctantly.

“Thanks. I don’t so, if you have a spare room…” Jeremy said. He took the offered phones, as well as two USBs, a bunch of earphones, and a fitness tracker.

“We have a couple.” Jack said. “It’s a big apartment, after all.”

Jeremy flipped the paper over.

_And a sticky bomb._

Ryan handed one over. Gavin tensed, but visibly relaxed when Jeremy placed it under Jack’s car. Jack was looking increasingly alarmed.

“Do you like video games, Jeremy?” Michael asked, carrying the conversation on.

Jeremy walked quickly away from Jack’s car, towards the water’s edge, and they followed him.

“Love them.”

“We’ve got a great set up. Five Xboxes”-

“Shit!” Jeremy shouted, to no-one. “We missed one!”

He set off the sticky bomb. Jack’s car exploded, sending a fireball hurtling towards the sky. At the same time, Jeremy threw the electronics into the ocean.

“Awww...” Jack said. “My car!”

“My phone!” Gavin whined.

“Come on.” Jeremy said. “We have to move quickly. The police will have seen that.”

“To where?” Jack argued. “You just blew up my car!”

Jeremy pointed. A short distance away, lit up now by the explosion, sat a boat moored to a pole.

“Seriously?!”

“Yep. Get in!”

Jeremy unmoored the boat and revved the engine.

“What the fuck Jeremy, seriously.” Michael said, but climbed in.

Once they were all seated, Jeremy pulled the boat away from the Port and gunned it north-east. After a few minutes he slowed down considerably and relaxed a bit in his seat.

“Jeremy,” Geoff started, “If you don’t mind me repeating Michael, what the fuck.”

“Okay, answer time. I may have been misleading you about there being a spy in your criminal network.”

“Knew it.” Michael said, drawing a knife. “So what, did you take us out here to kill us or something?”

“Or something. Let me explain. You are being spied on, just not by anyone in your network. Geoff, you have one of the most loyal bunch of felons I’ve ever seen, I have to say.”

“Spit it out.” Geoff said. “Or I let Michael stab you to death.”

“Prince James has one of the same alien helmets that the Corpirate had.” Jeremy said quickly. “He’s been using it to spy on you. I had to say it was a member of your crew so he didn’t think I knew about it.”

“Is that why you threw my phone into the ocean?” Gavin asked.

“Yes. That helmet can spy through any piece of technology. Your phones, car GPS, laptops, the helmet can use it all.”

“Then why didn’t you blow up Geoff’s car?” Jack said. “Just mine? Geoff’s has a GPS and radio and all that.”

“I had to make a reasonable explanation as to why we all suddenly fell off the grid. I made it look like a Colmillo Blanco thug survived and bombed us. They won’t think we’re dead for long, but long enough for us to get somewhere where we can’t be spied on. Then I can tell you _everything_ like I promised.”

The sound of the wind and the engine became the predominant noise in the boat as they thought this over. It made sense, Geoff had to admit, and it was getting on his nerves how often he was thinking that. Jeremy (or an alternative- dimension Geoff) really had thought all of this out.

“If we’re going to take down Prince James,” Ryan said, “We’ll need to destroy that helmet.”

“Not destroy,” Jeremy said, “steal. I need it for something.”

“How are we gonna steal it from right from under the Prince’s nose?”

“Well, right now the Prince’s right hand man is using it. We get to him, kill him, take it, and use it against the Prince.”

“Who this right hand man guy?” Michael asked. “The Right Hand to the Prince.”

“You’ve met him.” Jeremy replied. “At least, you’ve met a version of him in another universe. Prince James’ right hand man is The Inconvenience.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all real GTA V movie trivia, by the way. I had to look up fake actors playing fake characters in fake films for this chapter. I am cursed with this knowledge and now you are too.


	4. Make Short Work of a Tall Order

_“Please, Ray.” Geoff said. “With a little more time, we can work this out”-_

_“Stop making this harder!” Ray shouted. “We’ve been trying to work this out for_ six months!”

_Ray’s hand trembled on the handle of the suitcase. The room fell completely silent, save for the ragged gasps of Ray’s breathing._

_Geoff laid a hand on his free shoulder. Ray bit his lip. He didn’t meet Geoff’s eyes, instead staring directly ahead, just past Geoff’s ear._

_“Fine, just… fine.” Geoff said. “I don’t approve of this, and I know you hate it too, but I understand.”_

_Ray let his head fall forwards into Geoff’s shoulder. Geoff wasted no time wrapping his arms around him, engulfing him in a tight bear hug. Ray’s slight frame shuddered, then relaxed, and then Geoff released him._

_He stepped back._

 

 *******

 

Jeremy spent about thirty minutes steering the boat up the coast, until the lights from the city faded and Michael was sure they were about to hit some outcrop of rocks at any moment. The moon was bright when it snuck out from behind the clouds, but it cast long shadows across the water from choppy waves and the water here wasn’t particularly deep. Michael kept one hand clenched tight around the lip of the side, just in case they ran aground.

Whenever the moon came out Michael caught glimpses of Ryan pointing out constellations to Gavin, or Geoff huddling closer to Jack for warmth. A couple of times he caught Jeremy’s eye and the other man seemed to be sizing him up, or judging him or something. Michael wasn’t sure, and he wanted to tell him to stop it except the wind was loud and he didn’t want to start shouting.

The noise lessened as they pulled into a protected bay. The boat was small enough for Michael and Ryan to pull it up onto the beach. Jeremy lifted up one of the seats and pulled out bags, which he distributed to everyone. Sleeping bags, blankets, a couple of snacks, and a small lantern sat in a sad pile in front of them.

“Aw, come on.” Geoff said. “Do we really have to slum it on the beach? I could have bought us a motel room. With cash.”

“Security cameras.” Jeremy replied. “Traffic cameras, random passer-by’s videos, it’s all too risky. And there’s a patch of grass just past the sand. This is actually a great place to camp. No technology, no Inconvenient spying, and look at that view.” Jeremy gestured towards the almost pitch-black mountains. “Untouched nature for miles and miles around.”

“I like my nature with man’s filthy hands all over it.”

“Then you’re gonna have to suck it up a little then.”

Geoff grumbled, but unrolled a sleeping bag on the grass. The others followed suit and they sat on them like a six-pointed star around the small lantern.

“So we’re somewhere in the Palomino Highlands?” Jack asked.

“Yep.” Jeremy said. “There’s a road about a half hour’s… drive? ... Boating? ... from here, which will take us to where The Inconvenience is hiding out.”

“And where’s that?”

“A horse ranch a little east of the lake owned by Colmillo Blanco. _La Fuente Blanca_ , or The White Fountain. Disappointingly, no horses. I always wanted to ride one and I haven’t gotten the chance to yet.”

Ryan removed his mask and let out his ponytail to retie it.

“Why is the Prince’s guy staying with Colmillo Blanco?”

“Because Prince James and Colmillo Blanco are working together.” Jeremy said. “He struck a deal with them so that they’ll be the most powerful crew after you guys are killed. They get some of his alien weaponry in return for their obedience. It was how I was able to convince them to attack you earlier than they had planned- they thought I was still working for the Prince and passing along his orders.”

“Gus had it the wrong way around.” Jack said. “The Prince is selling the alien tech to Colmillo Blanco.”

“Not just alien tech,” Gavin said, “Alien weaponry, Jeremy?”

Jeremy nodded. “I’m not really sure how they work, but the Prince has guns that can sort of fire through walls and stuff.” He pulled out the now slightly sodden piece of paper from before. “Gus described it once as a bullet flying through four dimensions instead of”-

-“ _No_.” Geoff said. “It’s one thirty in the fucking morning. I don’t care.”

“I care!” Ryan said.

“Care in the morning. Jeremy, how do we defend against bullets that go through walls?”

“Shield gauntlet. It’s under one of the seats in the boat.”

“Great. I’m going to go to sleep now.” He yawned, crawled inside his sleeping bag, and turned away from the lantern.

Michael stifled a yawn of his own and he saw Jack and Gavin weren’t faring much better. Ryan was harder to read, but the way he leaned against Jack gave away his exhaustion. It had been a long day, not the _longest_ day by a long shot, but lengthy all the same. Sleeping, even on grass in the middle of fucking nowhere, was looking better and better.

“…Okay, we can discuss strategy in the morning.” Jeremy said.

“What’s the plan for tomorrow then?” Jack asked. The question was accompanied with rustling and stretching as people prepared to sleep.

“I’ll wake everyone up in a couple of hours. There’s a great teenage hangout not too far from here that we can boat to and steal a car from. Shitty first cars don’t have enough working components for The Inconvenience to spy through. Like trying to hack a stick.”

“You’re not going to sleep, Jeremy?” Gavin said.

“We don’t have an alarm clock. Besides, it’s probably for the best that someone stays up and keeps watch. I’ve heard rumours that mountain lions hunt around here.”

Gavin pulled a face and scooted close to Michael’s side.

“Have you seen a mountain lion before, Jeremy?” Gavin asked.

“Not yet, but there’s a first time for everything. This reset has already been so damn strange I wouldn’t be surprised if something tries to jump us.”

Ryan turned off the lantern and they said a round of goodnights. Less than a minute later Geoff and Jack’s snores created a background noise to mix with the ocean waves. One of Gavin’s cold hands crossed the distance between the sleeping bags and slid up against Michael’s back.

Michael’s eyes burned with exhaustion but for some reason he couldn’t get them to shut. Instead, he watched the clouds roll over the stars and he tried to come up with his own constellations. He’d never really noticed before how they’d spin slowly around the North Star. Then again, it wasn’t really the stars moving, it was him. Space was weird. Unfortunately it wasn’t doing nearly a good enough job of distracting him from what he knew he’d have to face eventually.

He rubbed at his eyes and sighed.

He was going to fight The Inconvenience in a few hours and if he didn’t sleep he wasn’t going to be in his best form. Christ. Months later and the thought of him still left a pit in his stomach and a bad taste in his mouth. Michael rolled to his other side, grumbled, and laid on his back again. Muscles that shouldn’t have been sore started to ache.

It was undeniable that Michael was afraid of him. Of course he was. What he did, not just to Michael but to Ray and Geoff and Ryan and Michael still hated how he couldn’t have ended it all sooner. He remembered holding Ray’s shaking hands in their apartment, rubbing his hands over them repeatedly as if that could straighten them out and leave them as they once were. Phantom pains had woken him up, Ray had said. It would pass.

It did.

And as days and weeks went by incidents like that grew rarer. They slept better. Michael didn’t need to rush to the roof of the apartment when the walls felt like they were caving in, Geoff drank less. Ryan opened up about his history, past jobs, where he grew up. Jack looked more and more content, and Gavin curbed some of his impulsive behaviour. Not by much, but, you know, no one’s perfect.

Hopefully the next day’s attack would be the end of things, the last piece in the puzzle to leaving the entire Corpirate mess behind them. No more time wasted researching and following leads and when they led nowhere taking their frustrations out on enemy gangs. Now they had an ace up their sleeve that could finally put the Fakes back on top and keep them there.

Jeremy. The guy was a prick but he turned out to be extremely useful, even if Michael disagreed with his methods. What was wrong with just knocking on the door of their apartment and telling them the truth? Well except the apartment was bugged, so he’d have to get them somewhere else and talk to them there… No, their phones and stuff were bugged too, so he’d have to find a way to get them to drop them without telling them… okay. Jeremy had a point. As much as he hated to admit it, Jeremy’s incredibly frustrating series of events _worked_. Everyone was alive, and they were going to fight The Inconvenience, and finish off Colmillo Blanco.

This was the same conclusion everyone else had reached hours ago, Michael was well aware, but he liked to think things over himself.

And okay, maybe he’d been a bit of an asshole right back at him, but in Michael’s defence he was just trying to protect his crew. Now he was fairly certain he and Jeremy were working towards the same goal in that regard. And if Jeremy could take them to The Inconvenience , all the better.

If what Jeremy said about The Inconvenience was true (and Michael was pretty sure it was), then he knew a terrifying amount of information about all of them. Everything they ever talked about, all their soft and mushy moments.

Michael fought back a shudder. _Christ_. He was suddenly furious, and vibrating with enough energy he was sure he could sprint to La Fuente Blanca and tear it down brick by brick. Such an invasion of privacy by the worst human being alive…  It had been awful the first time around, when he played Michael like a fiddle in Arcadius, but The Inconvenience never knew how much the rest of them meant to him. Of course there was what he did to Ray and how he threatened Gavin, but it could have been a lot worse. Who knew what sort of sick mind games he could play with them now, knowing what he did.

It was actually a miracle Colmillo Blanco had only done the damage they did with all that information, assuming The Inconvenience had shared it with them. Jeremy probably had a hand in minimising the damage. They hadn’t asked him how much time before the Colmillo Blanco betrayal Jeremy’s reset was. Michael made a mental note to ask him in the morning. In the meantime he decided to wait out the morning, his fists clenched so hard he could feel the skin on his palms tear.

“Michael.” Jeremy breathed.

Michael started, before he remembered he wasn’t the only one awake.

“What?”

“Listen. Can you hear them?”

Michael listened. Apart from the ocean and typical nocturnal sounds, he heard nothing.

“What am I trying to hear?”

“There’s a whole clan of them passing through.”

“Of what?”

“Bigfoots.”

Michael huffed out a laugh. Out of everything Jeremy could have said, he wasn’t expecting that. “You watch Mountain Monsters?”

“You’ve told me all about it.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Your favourite episode is the one where Bigfoot frees the chupacabra from the trap.”

“Have you actually seen any of the episodes?”

“A few. I’ve watched them with you and the others when we’ve had a few spare hours in the apartment.”

“We get time to hang out later? I’m surprised we haven’t watched _The Loneliest Robot in Great Britain_ yet.”

“It’s not all action and explosions, I’ll tell you that. There’s a lot of waiting for Prince James to make a move and stuff. But I’m not that much of a movie person. Chillin in the apartment, playing a few games, talking over beers, it’s all good.”

“Don’t you get sick of that sort of stuff?”

“You’d think so, but no. You and the others are always doing something new. Every time one universe goes slightly different, or I say something, you just… go in completely unexpected directions. Hundreds of hours of you just sitting around and shooting the shit, and I haven’t been bored once.”

Jeremy shuffled around in the darkness. Michael looked back up at the sky, thinking.

“What’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard one of us say?” Michael asked.

“Would you believe it if I said it was Gavin that said it?”

“I wouldn’t if you said otherwise.”

“Well, we were talking once about space debris and space gravity and…”

Jeremy talked, and soon Michael found his eyelids drooping. Listening to the fond tones of Jeremy’s voice, it was suddenly not all that difficult to drift off.

 

 *******

 

Michael woke up sandwiched between Gavin and Ryan, and the strong smell of coffee coating the air. Ryan was propped up on his elbows, listening to Jeremy.

“Imagine you were two dimensional, living on a flat plane, the piece of paper.” Jeremy said. Michael forced his eyes open. The warm hues of sunrise greeted his eyes, splayed across the sky in pleasing gradients.

Michael immediately hated them, and rolled over.

“If you wanted to get from one end of the paper to the other, you’d have to travel there, right?” Jeremy continued. “But what if I fold the paper so the ends come together? You could go from one end to the other instantly. The two dimensional surface, the paper, bends in three dimensions, and now instantaneous travel is possible. Now, instead of imagining two to three dimensions, imagine three to four. That’s how an alien bullet would travel.”

Michael groaned. “What time is it?”

“About six thirty.” Jeremy said. “Rise and shine! We’re burning daylight here!”

If Michael had a pillow, he would have thrown it at Jeremy.

“I hate you so much right now, you know that?”

“I do.”

“Okay. Good.”

Something warm pressed into his arm. Michael cracked his eyes open again and saw Ryan pushing a cup of coffee against him.

“Jeremy brought a coffee filter.” Ryan said, in between bites of apple.

“How nice of him.” Michael replied as he sipped the coffee. Latte, nice.

“I thought the fourth dimension was time, Jeremy?” Jack said.

“In our universe, we use three space dimensions and one time dimension.” Jeremy explained. “Think of dimensions not as, like, physical spaces, but ways to describe space. The fourth _space_ dimension is a way to describe extra space. And then a time dimension on top of that.”

“That makes no fucking sense.” Geoff said. “Where’s this extra space?”

“It’s everywhere, we just can’t perceive it. Sort of. Maybe?” Jeremy said. “Look, I’m not an expert in extra dimensions. You’re just gonna have to roll with it. The bullets can go through walls.”

“Got it. Anything else we need to be aware of?”

“A lot of stuff. Eat, and I’ll talk.”

Michael finished his latte and Jack handed him an energy bar. They ate while Jeremy drew in the sand with a stick.

“The Inconvenience has a bunch of security cameras all over the main building, and a few near the stables. There are also fingerprint sensors and all that nonsense to get in. This makes it impossible to sneak in. Well, I could, but I don’t have the time nor the patience to teach you lot the route.” Jeremy sketched rectangles into the sand, showing a top down view of the ranch. “The ranch itself is right near a hill and swarming with Colmillo Blanco guys with the alien guns, and a few have alien enhanced armour. The Inconvenience also has alien enhanced armour. Oh, and one of the mask-guys is there too. I can’t remember if he has special armour or not.”

“Thought you’ve done this thousands of times?” Michael said.

“The first parts, yeah. I’d say… hundreds for this. There’s a bit of a learning curve.”

“So we can’t sneak in,” Geoff said, “and it doesn’t sound like fighting our way in is going to work either. So how are we gonna do this? Go in Trojan horse style? Dig our way in?”

Jeremy tapped the ground with the stick. “I like the way you think, but neither of those will work. While The Inconvenience is in that ranch, he has too many advantages.”

Jeremy stood up and jogged towards the boat. Now more awake and with a bit of coffee in him, Michael noticed the dark circles around Jeremy’s eyes, the red stain spreading from under his bandages. Jeremy looked exhausted. And after not sleeping at all the night before, Michael wondered how he was even on his feet and acting so jovial.

Jeremy lifted up a seat and pulled out the laser cannon. He shook some water out of it and held it up.

Michael grinned. “Can’t hide in the ranch if someone blows it the fuck up.”

Jeremy passed him the laser cannon. Michael slipped the familiar weight around his arm and hefted it approvingly. Ah, it had been too long.

“As long as you aim a beam up near the roofs of the buildings, you won’t risk damaging the helmet. Deals with the Colmillo Blanco guys, the high tech security, and the home-turf advantages all at once. There’s more weapons and ammo and shit in there too.”

“Uh, hang on.” Geoff said. “Didn’t I lend that laser cannon to Gus?”

“Yes, you did.” Jeremy replied.

“… You are far too clever for your own good, you know that right?”

“Jeremy you little shit.” Gavin said. “How the hell did you sneak that past Gus?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Practice makes perfect, even against hoarding hermits. Now if you wouldn’t mind, we have a ranch to destroy and an Inconvenience to murder the shit out of.”

 

 *******

 

They packed their stuff back up into the boat and Jeremy steered them further up the coast. The sun was still quite low in the sky, the odd orange cloud colouring the ocean with polka dot reflections. Soon a sizeable beach came into view, scattered with old looking cars and three or four campfires. It didn’t look like anyone was up and moving around yet in them. They left the boat a little further up the beach and pulled their supplies out.

Jeremy pointed out an old, beat up truck and Ryan set to work hotwiring it. A minute or so later they were on the road, Michael at the wheel and Jeremy by his side directing him. The other four lounged in the cargo bed with their weapons, ammunition, and a couple of snacks.

“What do we do once Michael explodes the ranch?” Geoff asked, over the comms.

“It’ll take out most of the Colmillo Blanco men,” Jeremy said, “Exactly how many I can’t tell you. But any survivors that come out of the wreckage you can pick off pretty easily.”

“And if they hit us back with their wall-ignoring bullets? How do we defend against that?”

“Well Ryan’s got the shield gauntlet, so he’s good. Everyone else, don’t let them know where you are. Keep moving, keep a little distance. Because we’re pretty far from the city, it’ll be ages before the police get here, so you don’t need to rush things. Take your time with them.”

“Do we need to worry about Prince James sending any reinforcements?”

“If he sends any, they’ll take longer than the police to get there.”

Michael spoke up.

“What about The Inconvenience? Is he just gonna pop up out of the rubble too?”

“Sometimes. It’s a little variable, depending on how the main building goes down. A couple of times the building takes him out, but not usually.”

“That would be too convenient, wouldn’t it.”

“It’s not what he’s known for.”

They smirked at each other.

“What’s good is The Inconvenience is always unarmed.” Jeremy continued. “When I see him I’ll shout and Michael can”- he mimed his throat getting slit- “do the deed. With my arm I’m not going to be all that useful on the field, so I’ll spend most of my time keeping an eye out for him. The rest of you should have enough firepower.”

Michael glanced over at Jeremy. He’d wrapped his good hand around his wound, and fresh blood seeped in between his fingers. His face was unusually pale. The sleepless night probably didn’t help him either.

“Jeremy,” Jack said, “Once we’re back at the apartment I’ll fix you up properly, okay?”

“If I can’t get all of you though this, then it’s not going to matter.” Jeremy replied.

“Just because this reset’s not really going to plan, doesn’t mean it’s all going to end horribly wrong.” Jack said. “If it took you thousands of tries to kill us, I don’t think an unprepared Colmillo Blanco is going to do the job.”

Jeremy inclined his head and said nothing.

Michael drove for about ten minutes before Jeremy directed him off the road and up a fairly steep incline. They parked next to a rocky outcrop just below the top of the hill. While the others hopped out and prepared, Michael found himself strangely unwilling to get out of the truck.

Maybe not so strangely.

Before anyone noticed his hesitation, he pulled his hands away from the steering wheel and got out of the truck. Jack handed him the laser gauntlet and a special carbine assault rifle.

“No body armour?” Ryan asked.

“It’s not like it’s gonna help.” Jeremy said, then quickly added “I mean, you’re not gonna need it.”

“You’re really filling me with confidence here.”

“Oh good. I should have been a motivational speaker.”

He was wearing his mask again but there was no mistaking the look Ryan was giving Jeremy.

“We ready to go?” Geoff said, clapping his hands together.

They nodded.

“Alright, Michael, time to do your thing.”

Michael and Jeremy climbed to the top of the hill, being careful to keep their heads low against the crest.

“Get on your knees, Michael.” Jeremy said.

“Buy me dinner first.”

“At seven-thirty in the morning? Someone’s eager. It’s for stability, Michael.”

“Just shut up and tell me where to fire this thing.” Michael said, dropping to his knees and resting the laser cannon on a rock like a sniper rifle.

He’d taken the cannon way out into the mountains with Gus and Ryan once to do some much needed research. Okay, it was mostly an excuse to blow stuff up but he did learn some things. Like the fact that the laser could fire for a maximum of about eight seconds and disappeared after a distance of about a mile. This was good to know because it meant Michael wasn’t going to accidentally cut the planet in half or something like that.

It also meant he’d have no problem reaching the smattering of buildings a hundred metres away. With the rising sun behind them, there was very little chance of anyone in the ranch spotting them. Michael took a deep breath and steadied the cannon on the rock.

Jeremy pointed down the slope.

“Just along the roof line there. And try not to cut into the water tower, unless you want to cause a nightmare for everyone during their morning commute.”

“Maybe I do.”

“We have to drive back on that highway.”

“God you’re such a spoil-sport.”

“You say, as I help you explode a bunch of buildings.”

Michael held his breath, aimed, and fired.

The laser cut a path of plasma across the entire length of the ranch, cutting off just before it reached the water tower. The main building immediately lurched to the side and the roof slouched and fell. Smoke and dust billowed up in a huge cloud. Where a power box was hit sparks flew and dusted the surrounding grass. A car parked out front was hit by a piece of rubble and set off the car alarm.

All of this took place in about twelve seconds.

There was no going back now. Michael slipped the laser cannon from his arm, picked up his rifle, and took off down the hill.

“It’s down!” Jeremy yelled over the comms. “Everybody go!”

The dust was still rising when Michael made it to the remains of the ranch. He saw someone lying on the ground in front of him, a piece of steel imbedded in their neck, and jumped over the body. He swung his rifle around frantically, looking for any sign of movement. A hanging planter fell from its chain and Michael almost shot at it before catching himself.

Gavin and Ryan joined him a few seconds later, Gavin with an SMG and Ryan with a pistol and the shield gauntlet. Geoff, Jack, and Jeremy were a little further up the hill.

“Gavin,” Ryan said, “Stay with me. We should check for survivors near the stables that didn’t get hit.”

A few roof tiles shifted and a dust-covered head peeked out. Michael shot them immediately and they fell back under the roof. Not The Inconvenience, unfortunately. He would never be that lucky.

Two more Colmillo Blanco thugs appeared in the wreckage. Michael disposed of them without too much effort. Geoff, Jack, and Jeremy approached the scene and spread out, trying to cover as much of the main building as possible. Michael drifted north, in the direction of the water tower. If The Inconvenience survived the initial attack, which Michael was sure he did, he’d most likely be where there was the least damage. A few walls and a gazebo still stood on this far side of the ranch.

“Shit.” Geoff said. “There’s three of them on the west side and they don’t look injured.”

A blue light shot past Michael’s face. He flinched and ducked behind a hedge, and remembering Jeremy’s warning, and ran along it. He came out of the hedge behind the offending thug and shot him in the neck.

“Jesus Christ.” Michael cursed. “Watch out for those fucking bullets.”

“Jack!” Jeremy yelled. “Behind you!”

Jack spun around just as mask-guy came at him from behind the mail box. He swung his gun around like a bat, presumably it was damaged or he was just crazy, and swung it towards Jack’s face. Jeremy slammed into Jack’s side, knocking him to the ground and taking a glancing blow from the gun. He landed on his bad arm and howled in pain.

“Jack!” Geoff shouted.

“Everything okay over there?” Ryan said over the comms.

Michael, on the far side of the main building’s wreckage, began to pick his way to the gazebo. He could get a clear shot from there.

 An arm snaked out of nowhere and wrapped around his throat.

Michael let out a garbled cry before his air was completely cut off. He jabbed his elbow into his attacker’s side and when they barely flinched he heard a low hum of disappointment.

“Good morning, Mr Jones.” The Inconvenience whispered.

Michael’s blood ran cold. He froze, just for a second, and it was enough time for The Inconvenience to drag him backwards and off his feet. Off balance, choking, there was nothing Michael could do to stop The Inconvenience from dragging him away from the smoking ruins, his crew, and into a horse stall.

The Inconvenience threw him against the back wall and Michael hit the ground with enough force to wind him. He sent scrambling fingers towards his earpiece but The Inconvenience grabbed his hands and pressed them to the wall with one fist. The other stayed around his throat- a warning for when Michael got his breath back.

Oh fuck. Jeremy was supposed to be looking out for him. And now he felt like he was right back down there, in Arcadius all over again, and his calves began to ache.

“I was honestly expecting something… more.” The Inconvenience said. He was out of breath, covered in dust, but still oozing with enough authority to make Michael want to crawl inside the wall. His face was covered with the alien helmet but Michael could still see his red birthmark and frowning expression through the glass. “I was _so_ excited to meet you once I knew you were looking for me. I knew exactly what it meant.”

No, no, nono _no_ -

Michael strained against the wall, but The Inconvenience was a giant. Struggling blindly wasn’t going to help him. He needed to think.

But it was almost impossible with The Inconvenience breathing down his neck.

“I asked myself, why is the Fake AH Crew hunting me down specifically, when I kept my involvement with the Corpirate quite secret? Why are they after me with such voracity?  I must have spent some… quality time with you.”

“Michael?” Ryan said over the comms. “Where are you?”

Michael opened and closed his mouth, scratched at his neck, but couldn’t reply. The Inconvenience tightened his grip around Michael’s throat until he settled down.

“Oh no, Mr Jones. No speaking unless I say so.” The Inconvenience leaned in until he was inches from Michael, inspecting him. He released the pressure around Michael’s neck and Michael drew in great gulps of dusty air. “And then,” The Inconvenience continued, “over days and weeks and months, you told me yourself what I did to you. What I did to your crew. I have eyes and ears _everywhere_ , Mr Jones.”

“I’m gonna kill you, you bastard.” Michael choked out. The Inconvenience slapped him, and the force of it sent him reeling. He wore a ring, and Michael felt his lip split open and bleed.

“I don’t think so, Mr Jones. On the contrary, your lovers won’t lay a hand on me as long as I have you.”

Michael shivered. He was right.

“And when I’ve escaped and it’s just you and me in this city, I think I’ll continue where I left off.”

Michael lashed out, legs kicking and dragging on the ground, but he managed to land a solid connection to The Inconvenience’s crotch. The Inconvenience grunted, relaxed his grip on Michael’s hands for a moment, and Michael tore them free. He went straight for his throat, but his scrambling fingers found no purchase against the material of the alien helmet. The Inconvenience slapped him again, twice, thrice, until Michael felt a tooth loosen and he fell boneless back to the wall.

“You are a weak, stupid little boy.” The Inconvenience droned. Blood dribbled down Michael’s chin. “Once I break you again, I will come for your lovers. I’ll break them too. I can break anyone with enough time, and I believe you and I are about to spend a lot of time together. I’ll leave your earpiece in. They can listen.”

The ground felt cold, very cold, all of a sudden. Michael couldn’t muster up the strength to move, there was no anger, just nausea and a throbbing pain that cut him to his core.

There was nothing to be done. Michael couldn’t fight him, didn’t know where to begin to outsmart him.

“Michael!” Jack shouted over the comms. “Are you alright? _Where are you?_ ”

“Michael,” Ryan said, speaking quickly. “We’re coming for you. Hold on!”

“Time to go.” The Inconvenience said. Michael thought for a moment that The Inconvenience had heard Jack and Ryan, but Jeremy had said the earpieces couldn’t be hacked. It was a small comfort, having their voices all to himself.

The Inconvenience wrapped his arm around Michael’s throat again and dragged him backwards from the stall. Michael’s hands went to his own neck and his feet carved gouges into the dirt but he couldn’t get any traction. Not enough to perform any of the evasive manoeuvres Ryan had spent so long drilling into his head.

The Inconvenience was going to drag him back to Arcadius and his crew would never find him.

No. He couldn’t give up now. There had to be something he could do. Anything, to tell the others where he was. _Anything_.

Michael started to squirm again. Michael was well built, but compared to The Inconvenience he was lanky. He wriggled, and he twisted and turned and kicked at shins and clawed at helmets and scratched with his fingernails until The Inconvenience was forced to slow down.

“Stop it.” The Inconvenience cautioned. “You’ll only regret it later. I need you alive but I do not need you conscious, Mr Jones.”

Michael suddenly rag-dolled, becoming completely limp in The Inconvenience’s arms. The Inconvenience almost dropped him, releasing his grip long enough for Michael to shout.

Except he couldn’t shout. All his bruised voice could produce was half a croak.

The Inconvenience readjusted his grip and returned his arm to Michael’s throat. Michael pulled his chin in tight to his chest and bit down, hard, on The Inconvenience’s hand. The Inconvenience let out a yelp before stifling it. He looked around, but no one joined them as they made their way down the hill.

It was worth a shot.

“You’re going to regret that, Mr Jones.” The Inconvenience said. He reared his other hand back and curled it into a fist. He punched Michael in the side of his head and Michael saw stars. He slumped again, his vision going grey and black at the edges, and The Inconvenience dragged him, limp and unprotesting, down the slope.

“Not today, bitch!” A voice yelled. Not through the comms.

The Inconvenience dropped Michael and he rolled slightly, unable to catch himself, still reeling from the punch. Through the haze of pain he saw two blurs duke it out on the path in front of him, one lithe and lanky, the other as bulky as they get. The Inconvenience was limping. He pulled something out of his leg and tossed it aside.

“I’ve got him.” Gavin said over the comms. “He’s north! The Inconvenience is here!”

“We’re coming!” Geoff shouted. “Michael we’re coming for you, bud!”

Michael smiled, cracking his lip open more and filling his mouth with blood.

Gavin dodged a lunge from The Inconvenience and side-stepped around him. He pulled another knife from somewhere and shoved it behind his other knee. The Inconvenience groaned and stumbled against a rock for support. Gavin rushed to Michael.

“Michael, my boy”-

Gavin helped him sit up started to help him stand. Michael grabbed his arm and pointed back at The Inconvenience, not collected enough yet to speak. The fight wasn’t over yet.

The Inconvenience twisted and hurled a stone at Gavin. Not fast enough to avoid it, Gavin caught it on his shoulder and went down, clutching his arm. The Inconvenience limped after him and grabbed him by his collar. He slammed him into the rocky ground, once, twice, three times, until the next time The Inconvenience pulled him up he sagged. The Inconvenience tossed him down the hill and he tumbled away.

Michael shouted, forcing his bruised throat to work. Gavin did not reply.

The Inconvenience slowly limped over to Michael and grabbed him by the back of his jacket. “You’ve always been far too much trouble, haven’t you, Mr Jones.” They began the slow walk down the hill again. Michael could only let him, his head lolling on his shoulders and rough stones catching his clothes.

“Stop.” Ryan said.

The Inconvenience stopped.

Ryan stood ahead of them, Michael’s assault rifle in hand and pointed at The Inconvenience’s gut. The shield gauntlet sat deactivated on his other hand.

“You can’t kill me, Mr _Haywood_.” The Inconvenience said. “The armour I wear is indestructible.”

“Maybe not, but I”-

The Inconvenience had a knife in his hand faster than Michael could process, and half a second later it was pressed against the side of his skull. Gavin’s dropped knife. Michael had never even seen him pick it up.

The Inconvenience heaved Michael to his feet and he took a few steps backwards.

“Don’t move, Mr Haywood.” The Inconvenience warned, when Ryan took a concerned step towards them. The blade of the knife dug into Michael’s scalp. “I’m taking him with me. Put the gun down.”

“If you kill him,” Ryan argued, “You’ll have nothing.”

“But you’ll have even less.”

It looked like Ryan would refuse to for a few seconds, but he reluctantly placed the gun on the ground. Ryan stood with barely restrained rage, his fingers curled and shaking.

Geoff appeared at the top of the slope. The Inconvenience swivelled around to show him the knife. He raised his hands above his head in a placating manner.

“Give us Michael,” Geoff said, “And we’ll let you go.”

“I’m not a fool, Mr Ramsey.” The Inconvenience replied, his voice still sounded cool and collected despite everything. “Back off or Mr Jones dies.”

Geoff reluctantly dropped his gun and took a few steps back.

The Inconvenience moved to keep both of them in his sight, and he backed away down the slope. “If I had known it was going to be this easy,” The Inconvenience told Michael, “I would have done something like this sooner. One of you is compromised and the rest fall like a house of cards. I could make all of them come with me, but I’ll enjoy watching them fall apart like they did when Mr Narvaez abandoned you. I won’t even need James or Colmillo Blanco.”

“Michael,” Geoff whispered over the comms. “I need you to distract him. Even for just a few seconds. Do it now.”

Michael fought through the fog in his brain and thought. Yes, he could do that. God he hoped Geoff had something good planned, otherwise this would probably be the end.

Michael spat blood, spit, and mucus into his hand. He threw his hand backwards into The Inconvenience’s glass visor, blinding him.

The Inconvenience recoiled and raised his knife hand to wipe the blood away.

Someone yelled something unintelligible- Gavin.

Gavin. He’d forgotten about Gavin, and The Inconvenience had too.

The Inconvenience grunted, and stumbled. His legs suddenly gave out and he crashed to the ground, Michael falling with him. Gavin caught him before he joined The Inconvenience on the ground.

Gavin lowered him into a sitting position and grinned at him. He was covered in dirt and his sunglasses were missing a lens, but the eyes behind were bright and viciously protective.

“My boi,” he said, “I won’t let him hurt you again.”

Michael managed a nod and looked towards The Inconvenience. A knife stuck under his shirt and body armour and directly into his spine, and blood gushed from the wound. Gavin’s other knife. The Inconvenience wasn’t coming back from that.

Ryan flung his mask off, grabbed The Inconvenience by the lapels of his jacket and pushed him against the rocky side of the hill.

“It’s _over,_ fucker.” Ryan snarled. Muscles straining, he heaved the Inconvenience away from the wall and smashed him back into it. The Inconvenience cried out and dribbled blood. Ryan felt around at his neck and ripped the alien helmet off him. The Inconvenience gasped and Ryan punched him in the face with his gauntleted hand.

“That was for Ray.” He punched him again. “And _that_ was for Michael.”

Geoff ran down the hill, and he and Gavin helped Michael to his feet.

“We’ve got him, Jack.” Geoff said over the comms “He’s fine, he’s with us.”

“Oh thank God.”

They made their way to the broken form of The Inconvenience. It didn’t look like he’d last much longer, his legs hung limp in front of him and slowly soaked up the growing streaks of blood. Ryan had broken his nose, and he was struggling to breathe.

The longer he looked at him the angrier Michael felt. He coughed, clearing his throat.

“Listen up, bitch.” Michael said. His voice was a gravelly whisper but he fought to be heard. “While you’re sucking yourself off to the sound of how smart you are, you forget. I led the damn Lads for years; I made sure they got out of Zancudo. I revolutionised Marx generator technology. And I sure as hell outsmarted you in Arcadius.” Michael said, with venom. “So suck on _that_.”

He spat in The Inconvenience’s face. He didn’t have enough strength left to flinch away.

Geoff handed him his rifle. Michael took it with weak fingers, his anger leaving him as quickly as it came.

“You want to do the honours?” Geoff asked him.

Michael shook his head.

“Nah. I’m, I’m done. I’m good. It doesn’t matter. Look at him.”

The Inconvenience looked a broken man. Defeated and on the verge of death, he looked like anyone else who was afraid to die. Scared. Hopeless. Choking on his fear.

Just a man.

Michael was good.

“We’ve still got a little while until the police come, right?” Michael asked in his raspy voice.

“I think so.” Geoff answered.

“Then let Ryan take care of him.”

Ryan nodded. He pulled a knife from a sheath on his leg, a wickedly curved thing, and pressed it against The Inconvenience’s neck.

“It might be for the best if you head back to the truck.” Ryan said in a low voice. “I’ll meet you there. I owe him a lot of pain for what he did to Geoff and Jack.”

Geoff and Gavin led Michael back up the slope and past what was left of the ranch. Jack was waiting for them at the truck, Jeremy’s limp form in the cargo bed.

“Is he dead?” Geoff asked, alarmed.

“Nah. Mask-guy gave him a nasty knock to the head and I think that was the last straw for him. He’s sleeping it off. Passed the fuck out and I carried him back.” Jack pulled Michael into a hug and tutted when he saw the blood.

“I thought you weren’t meant to let people with head wounds sleep. Poor bastard needs it though.” Michael rasped.

“That’s a common misconception, but it’s not actually true. I’ll send Kerry up to the apartment to give him a more professional check-up. You too, you’re not looking so hot on your feet.”

“I just need a nap, I think.”

Michael pulled himself into the front seat and rested in the passenger seat while Jack, Geoff, and Gavin talked outside. He let his head fall against the dashboard and closed his eyes for a moment. He’d just rest them for a few minutes, until Ryan came back.

 

 *******

 

Michael woke up slowly, and figured out pretty quickly he had slept much longer than he intended to. He was warm, for one thing, and somewhere soft. The apartment, he supposed. That meant someone had probably carried him up here, which was embarrassing, but he found he didn’t really care all that much.

The Inconvenience was dead. That was all that mattered. Knowing that was true lifted something from his bones and he felt lighter, literally lighter, than he had in a long time.

Of course, his aches and pains were dulled right now so medication may have also played a part, but whatever.

As much as he would have liked to stay in bed, he had to check up on Gavin and he wanted to check up on Jeremy. He crawled out from under the covers and padded across the wooden floor to the main area.  Evening light spilled in through bars of darkness thanks to Jeremy’s rearranging earlier. The four most important people in his life greeted him in the lounge room.

“Fucking finally.” Geoff said, getting off the phone. “You sleep like the damn dead. Dinner’s almost ready.”

Michael hummed a reply and face-planted on the couch. Someone sat on him, and he took a wild stab in the dark and guessed it was Gavin. He got a whiff of shampoo and frowned when Gavin lay down on top of him.

“We’ve got more than one couch, you know.” Michael grumbled, still tired. His voice was almost back to normal.

“The Michael couch is the comfiest.”

“You alright?”

“M’ golden. Nothing more than a few dings and scratches. How’re you feeling?”

“Like Kerry shot my ass up with morphine.”

“Close.” Jack said. “We half-woke you and gave you some pain pills. You were looking pretty miserable.”

“I feel pretty good right now. Except for someone’s bony-ass hip digging into my spine.”

Ryan deposited his empty can of diet coke on the coffee table, next to where the alien helmet resided. He’d showered too, except he hadn’t gotten all of the face-paint off under his eyes and he looked like a goth racoon.

“The Inconvenience is dead, Michael.” he said. “I made sure of it. Not as slow as I’d have like, but I’m certainly not going to complain.”

Geoff snorted. “You cut the guy’s tongue out, Ryan! It’s a wonder he didn’t keel over the second you ripped your mask off and he saw the look on your face.”

“A lot of our problems would be solved if more people just dropped dead.”

“Funny that.”

“Where’s Jeremy?” Michael asked. “Is he out organising more secret shit?”

“Nah, he’s still asleep.” Jack answered. “We’re waiting for him to get up and show us how to use the helmet, because we know better,” he gave a pointed look to Gavin, “than to start fiddling with strange alien technology.”

“If the Corpirate and Inconvenience can figure it out, so can we!” Gavin countered.

“ _No_.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Yep!” Jack said, cheerily. He left the lounge room for the kitchen.

Geoff took the opportunity to step around Ryan and join Gavin in sitting on Michael.

“Geoff.” Michael mock-wheezed, “You’re crushing me!”

“I’m just glad you’re not dead, dude!” Geoff replied. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? I was gonna shit my pants.”

“You’re always gonna do that anyway.”

“Still, don’t ever do that to me again. That’s an order. I’ve aged two decades today.”

“Yessir.”

“We were all worried, Michael.” Ryan said. He didn’t join the pile, but he did press a kiss in Michael’s hair and rub his shoulder. “I should put a damn tracker in your jacket. Should never have let you wander off on your own.”

“May I remind you I am a full grown adult male, Ryan, and not a puppy.” Michael said. “We handled it. And I’m good. Really, good. Slept like a damn baby.”

“I know, I just,” Ryan sighed. “I worry about you. Don’t almost die ever again.”

“I’ll do my best.”

About half an hour later Jeremy emerged from a guest bedroom rubbing at his neck. Michael had begun to doze, since Gavin had elected to stay on top of him and was quite warm. He started and pushed Gavin off him onto the floor, where he protested the action loudly.

“Michael!” Jeremy shouted. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Is everyone in the apartment going to ask me that?”

“I’m so, so sorry Michael. I got caught up with Mask-guy and missed The Inconvenience.”

“Hey, chill. It worked out for the best, because he’s dead now. We handled it. You can take the damn world off your shoulders now.”

Jeremy nodded at Michael, satisfied, and took up a position on one of the lounges.

“What time is it?” Jeremy asked.

“About seven thirty.” Ryan responded. Geoff scrolled through something on his phone to his left, his feet on Ryan’s lap.

“At night?”

“At night. Is that good?”

“It means we’re not behind schedule.”

“You might want to put your schedule on hold, because I don’t think you’re doing much with a concussion.”

“Nonsense! I feel great!”

“That would be Kerry’s magic meds, I believe. Tell me how you feel in two hours.”

“Jeremy!” Gavin shouted, waving his arms for Jeremy’s attention. “Tell us how the helmet works.”

“Yeah, sure.” He picked it up off the coffee table and slid it over his head. Someone had thankfully wiped Michael’s fluid mixture off the front and it looked good as new.

“The helmet tracks the wearer’s brainwaves, heartrate, blood pressure, all that medical stuff, plus a few other measures that don’t exist yet in modern medicine. It can access any working electrical device and, if it has a speaker or camera, use them.”

“Basically the IAA.” Ryan said.

“Except if the IAA got their hands on this their dicks would fall off in excitement. I could rewrite the internet with this thing. Change stock prices, uncover government secrets, read all radio frequencies”-

He cut off suddenly, frowning. His eyes darted across the inside of the glass.

“Uhhh, Jeremy?” Michael asked. “What’s the holdup?”

“There’s… something new here. That shouldn’t be possible. There’s _never_ anything new here.”

“Jack!” Ryan called.

“What?”

“Get in here! We’ve got a problem!”

Jeremy raised a hand to the side of the helmet. “It’s not a problem, per se. I’m used to getting tiny differences between universes, but there’s never any new knowledge.”

“What is it?” Ryan asked.

“A signal. It’s a signal log, with the signal coming from… I’m not sure. Not on Earth, at least. Maybe not even from this universe.”

Jack sat down on the couch next to Ryan and Geoff. “That’s pretty weird. Are you sure you just didn’t come across it before?”

“I’m pretty sure, Jack.”

“What sort of signal, then?”

“Lemme find out.” Jeremy was quiet for a few seconds, his eyes scanning the glass with frantic speed. He pulled a face and took the helmet off.

“It’s you and your stupid moustache all over again, Geoff!”

Geoff looked up from his phone. “My moustache? Me? What did I do?”

“The signal’s looking for you! There’s a whole file here dedicated to this signal from another universe, and it’s looking for you, specifically, Geoff Ramsey. Who the hell did you piss off in another universe?”

“Why do you have to go and blame _me_ for this? I didn’t do anything! Oh.” Geoff grew quiet really quickly. Everyone in the room looked at him.

“What, Geoff?” Jeremy said.

“I actually know about this.”

The rest of the room groaned.

“And you didn’t say anything about it sooner?” Ryan said.

“I forgot.”

“Jesus _Christ_ Geoff.” Michael exclaimed. “How?”

“One of the Corpirates said something about a signal one time. I didn’t think it was a big deal!”

“Of _course_ it’s a big deal! Something’s out there and looking for you! It could be hunting you down!”

“Is Corpirates the proper plural?” Gavin said.

“Geoff.” Ryan said, patiently, “What do you know about the signal?”

“You remember that one time the Corpirate picked us all off one by one with the laser cannon? Before he killed me he told me he picked up a strange signal that was looking for me. Something powerful. He told me to get the hell away from him.”

“Hmm.” Ryan frowned. “And Jeremy, you said this is the first time you’ve seen the signal out of hundreds of universes?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds to me like whatever it is after you, Geoff, is after just this variation of you. Not all Geoffs, across all universes. Just you.”

“Universes aren’t meant to change too much.” Jeremy said. “It’s usually no more than a shuffled atom between them. This is… beyond weird. What’s special about you, Geoff? What did you do, that no other Geoff did in any other universe?”

Geoff shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Well,” Michael said, “We’re fucked. When’s dinner?”


	5. One Small Problem

_Jack’s voice carried down the hallway._

_“Why are people yelling over there?”_

_He stepped into the dining room and immediately understood._

_“Oh, Ray…”_

_Jack pulled Ray into another hug, which Ray gladly accepted. Jack pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and Ray looked up at him._

_“Thank you. I mean it.”_

_Jack nodded and stepped back._

_“I know in an infinite number of universes,” Ray continued, “an infinite number of things are meant to happen. But if you drop a glass, it doesn’t matter how many ways you do it, the glass is gonna smash on the ground.”_

_Hot tears ran down Gavin’s face. His mouth opened but he couldn't force any words out._

 

*******

 

Ryan tossed his empty can over Michael’s couch and listened. The can clattered against the kitchen floor tiles. Ryan pulled a face and made a dejected noise.

“Was I even close to the bin?”

Michael leaned around the side of the couch.

“Not at all. You’re gonna have to pick that up.”

“After I finish eating. Jack, this is really good by the way.”

“Thank you.”

Jack had made a roast chicken with homemade sauce and roasted vegetables. He liked to cook after the crew had done something particularly dangerous or spontaneous, Ryan suspected as a way to regain some control over the situation.

Because it wasn’t usually Jack that did the stupid or dangerous thing, no, Jack was the Responsible One with words of caution and once, memorably, with a parachute just in time to lecture them on not doing the stupid thing. Ryan was generally the guiltiest of that, after Gavin of course.

They each had their post-stupid/dangerous rituals. Geoff drank, but more moderately than he used to. Michael and Gavin usually joined him unless the bedroom called to them more. Ryan himself spent a few careful minutes in the bathroom removing his face paint, definitely not secretly making sure he wasn’t seriously injured, and then several hours loitering around the main rooms keeping an eye on his crew when they wandered through. Little glances to make sure they weren’t limping and he could see their chests rise and fall if they fell asleep on a couch. The night after was always a bit more… touchy feely as well.

“Jeremy,” Gavin said through a mouthful of potato. He wore the retrieved helmet and his eyes tracked at something unseen inside the glass. “Was the Corpirate using his helmet to spy on our plans?” He lifted the bottom of the helmet up to eat another mouthful.

“Doubt it.” Jeremy replied. “You said that helmet looked pretty torn up. I’m surprised it was even able to turn invisible at all, even if it was a shaky, patchy invisible.”

“Can this helmet go invisible?”

“Dunno. Haven’t found out how to do it yet.”

“I’m gonna find out then.”

“I wish you more luck than the hundreds of other iterations of you had.”

Gavin pulled a face.

Jack placed his empty plate on the coffee table.

“I get the feeling Prince James has pretty much the same alien tech that the Corpirate had.”

“Yes and no.”

Jack ran his fingers through his beard, waiting for Jeremy to explain.

“As far as I can tell, the stuff in each space ship is pretty much the same but what got damaged in the crash is different between them. A lot of Prince James’s crud was torn apart, which made it unusable for its original purpose but easier to _re_ purpose.”

“James has weapons.”

“A lot of them. What he lacks is ammunition though, so he sends the weapons out in the field sparingly. That’s why none of the Colmillo Blanco safehouses had any.”

Michael stuck his hand under the rim of the helmet and tickled Gavin’s neck, who squirmed.

“It won’t matter what Prince James has. We have the helmet, which is the most OP piece of equipment I’ve ever seen.”

Ryan nodded in agreement.

“Surely we’re close to confronting Prince James. He’s down a very important piece of alien tech, his right hand man, and two of the three Colmillo Blanco leaders. It might be good to attack him sooner rather than later in case he tries to jump ship.”

His leather jacket sat folded on the coffee table. Next to it, someone had stood the shield gauntlet up, bent the wrist back, and extended the middle finger. Ryan had hung his mask over the finger, and it swayed gently when someone moved around the room.

Jeremy laced his fingers behind his head, wincing a little when he moved his arm.

“Don’t call me Shirley.” he said with a wink. Ryan suppressed the urge to whack him. “There’s a couple more things we need to do first. Very important things I haven’t thought of a way around yet, because they suck. And I want to give Gus a visit before things get too hectic and see if this Gus knows anything about Geoff’s signal.”

“It’s not _my_ signal!”

“The signal for Geoff then. If, by some miracle we all do end up living through this, the sooner I have all the facts the better.”

“Um.” Ryan said. “Don’t you mean the sooner ‘we’ have all the facts?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Jeremy,” Geoff said, a note of warning in his voice, “If you’re still thinking this isn’t your last reset-“

“-If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be looking into it! This signal is a one off. I guess we can cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess.”

“Burn that bridge, more like.” Jack said.

Geoff chuckled. “That should be the crew motto: We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. I think we should keep our focus on Prince James right now though. Once he’s dead we can worry about my interdimensional stalker.”

“Speaking of Prince James,” Jack said, “What _is_ our next step?”

Jeremy nudged his elbow against a curtain behind him.

“We’re gonna collect some much needed weaponry from Prince James.”

“How?”

Jeremy grinned. “He’s going to give it to us on a platter of red and white teeth.”

Jack shook his head. “You really get off on the whole ‘cryptic asshole’ thing don’t you.”

“I’ve got do something to keep it fresh. But we don’t have to worry about it until tomorrow.”

“So what do we do now?”

Jeremy shrugged. “Whatever you damn want. I need to make some calls though. Does anyone have a spare phone I can borrow?”

He looked pointedly at Geoff, who pointedly ignored him, still doing whatever on his clunky back-up phone.

Jack sighed.

“Yeah, we’ve got some burners in the bedroom. I’ll get you one.”

They left.

Gavin and Michael wandered into the kitchen, arguing and pulling drinks out of the fridge, Michael swearing when he tripped on Ryan’s discarded can. Ryan heard the can clatter into the bin. Geoff took advantage of the extra couch space and reclined, his feet hanging over the armrests.

Ryan slipped out of the main room and made his way to the roof. It was getting a bit too chilly to be up here without a jacket but it was tolerable for a short while. Storm clouds bunched at the horizon, the colours of sunset long gone, leaving them drenched in navy blues and deep violets. If they were lucky, the storm would pass them and head east, up the windy east coast and disperse over the mountains.

But he wasn’t a weather expert. It way Ray that could gauge the wind speed and direction from the tiniest gusts and make minute adjustments accordingly. Of course he could, otherwise he wouldn’t have been one of the best snipers in the game. He might have even been the best. There’s no official ranking for snipers-for-hire.

Ryan wasn’t sure if Ray was still in the business or not. There were a couple of up-and-coming snipers, none that Ryan had worked with yet, but he kept an eye out just in case he recognised one of them. He knew Ray was still alive at least, because his Gamerscore kept climbing.

This was where Ray went after someone had done something particularly rash or stupid. Somewhere he could look out over the whole city and stay vigilant. Sometimes Ryan would join him and they’d sit in silence on the roof and watch the sky change colours.

Ryan smiled, a slow smirk that only raised one side of his lips.

It hurt. Three months was not long enough to move on. Three years probably wouldn’t be either.

He sat on an air-conditioner unit and watched the city until the stars came out.

One of them supported life, in some shape or form. Ryan wasn’t sure if he wanted to thank them or curse them.

He reached a hand into his front pocket and pulled out a slip of paper. He squinted at the words written on it, struggling to read in the low light. Sighing and chewing on his lip a little, he folded the paper into quarters and put it back in his pocket.

“Ryan? Ryan!” Gavin called out.

“What?” Ryan spun to look at the entrance to the roof, where Gavin was waiting. He had a bit of colour in his cheeks and a grin on his face. He also had Ryan’s jacket draped around his shoulders, which looked far too large for his narrow frame.

It was, quite frankly, adorable.

“We found a game Jeremy hasn’t played yet!”

“Which one?”

Ryan realised he was shivering. He wrapped his arms around himself and walked stiffly towards Gavin. He’d been out here thinking longer than he’d thought.

“Astroneer!”

“And I take it you need me to help teach him?”

“We need you to place tethers. Jeremy thinks he found something in the centre of the earth.”

“It’s not the Earth”-

-“Yeah, yeah. We’re coming up with a name for it though.”

Gavin rubbed his hands up and down Ryan’s arms in an attempt to warm him up. Ryan wrapped his arms around him, engulfing him, and they swayed in the doorway. His jacket smelled like leather, smoke, and blood. Ugh. He’d have to get it cleaned again.

Gavin slipped one of his hands under Ryan’s shirt and let it rest on his hip.

“Will you come in and play?” Gavin asked him.

“Of course I will.”

 

 *******

 

Ryan opened the fridge, stared at the contents for a few seconds, and then ultimately decided it was too early in the morning to drink diet coke. He yawned, wiped a hand through his uncombed hair, and flinched for just a moment when cold fingers wrapped around him from behind.

“Mornin’, sunshine.” Geoff mumbled into his back.

“Morning to you too. How’re you feeling?”

“Face doesn’t really hurt anymore, but it itches.”

“Well don’t scratch it.”

“I’m not going to!”

Ryan did some quick calculations in his head. It had been… just under two days since Colmillo Blanco betrayed them. He hated the cliché, but it felt like two months. A lot had happened between then and now. It was easy to get caught up in the moment and forget to slow down and heal. It would be nice to have a few days to rest up more, especially in Michael and Jeremy’s case, but Jeremy was determined to stick to his mysterious schedule. Geoff’s injuries didn’t seem to bother him much at all, which Ryan was thankful for.

The toaster popped, and Ryan fixed his breakfast and sat at the kitchen table.

“Didn’t we used to have more chairs in here?” Geoff said as he fiddled around with the toaster. “I swear we had more chairs.”

“I don’t usually keep track of the number of chairs in the kitchen area.”

“Maybe we should start keeping track.”

“Ae you that worried about disappearing chairs?”

“You’d be too if you had to keep buying them.”

Geoff sat down next to him a few minutes later with his own breakfast and Michael and Jack wandered in. Michael had some nasty bruising around his throat shaped like fingers, and probably several more under his clothes, but he didn’t walk like they bothered him.

“Gavin still asleep?” Geoff asked.

Jack nodded. “He looked like he needs it.”

“Yesterday was certainly a big one.”

“Mmm.”

Jack pressed a kiss in Geoff’s hair and turned the kettle on. Michael slumped into a chair on Ryan’s other side and pressed his forehead against the cool table.

“Jack,” Michael whined, “Can you make me waffles?”

“We have waffles?” Geoff said, mouth full of toast.

“We will in two minutes.” Jack replied.

Soon after, Jack dropped a plate of waffles onto the table, along with plates, glasses, and toppings. The smell must have woken Gavin, because he stumbled out of the bedroom bleary eyed and with some fantastic bed hair.

“You have some fantastic bed hair this morning, Gavin.” Ryan said.

“I was gonna say the same thing!” Michael said, reaching for a plate.

Gavin plopped down next to him and slouched against his side. Michael supported his weight and pushed a plate of waffles in front of him.

Just as Jack sat down next to Geoff, Jeremy walked out of the guest room. He was wearing the same purple blazer and orange pants, but this time he was shirtless, Ryan noticed. He wasn’t the only one.

“God, Rimmy,” Gavin said, “You’re packing it, aren’t you?”

“… I don’t know what that means.” Jeremy said.

“Packing the muscle. Someone could grate cheese on those abs.”

Jeremy flushed. “I was hoping I could borrow one of your shirts, Ryan. My one is covered in blood.”

Ryan inclined his head and pointed a piece of toast towards the bedroom.  Jeremy raised a hand in thanks and left.

Geoff threw a bit of waffle at Gavin’s head.

“You’ll compliment Jeremy on his chiselled chest but you won’t say good morning to your boyfriends?”

“We each have our own priorities, Geoff. I’d compliment you on your abs if I could see them.”

Geoff mustered the energy to look scandalised.

“Michael, please hit him for me.”

“Hit on him, can do, boss.”

Geoff sighed into his breakfast. Ryan used the distraction to grab a piece of Geoff’s discarded toast. Jack shook his head and grabbed a handful of blueberries from a bowl and put them on his own waffles.

“I talked to Matt Bragg yesterday,” Geoff said. “He managed to get my car out of the impound lot. He’s driving it here soon.”

“I talked to Marcus.” Jack replied. “He said my car was beyond repair.”

“R-I-P in peace.” Michael said. “Is it almost January, Jack? I’ll get you something nice for your birthday. Or I’ll badger Geoff to.”

“There’s a rumour going around,” Ryan said, “that someone owns a car with a fucking _fighter jet turbine_ strapped to the back.”

“Think it might actually be alien tech?” Jack asked.

“Don’t think so. It sounds like regular human stupid to me. But it’s only a rumour.”

“I want that car.” Geoff said.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Michael replied, “We should get it for Jack!”

“We’ll get Marcus to build another one.” Geoff said. “We should _all_ have rocket cars. _Rocket car race_.”

“Happy birthday, Jack.” Michael said. “Everyone gets a rocket car.”

“I’m okay with that.” Jack said, shrugging. “I’d feel bad if it was just me.”

Gavin dropped his cutlery to the table with a loud clatter and scraped his chair back across the floor.

“I bet the helmet can find out if it’s real!” He made a beeline for the main room.

“Gavin!” Michael called after him. “Ae you gonna finish your waffles?”

When Gavin didn’t reply, Michael stuck a fork in one and dragged it to his own plate.

Ryan spotted Jeremy watching them from the entranceway, leaning against the kitchen wall. He was wearing a Deadpool shirt under his blazer now. Jeremy was just as broad as Ryan, but the shirt looked a little long on him.

“You can sit and join us, if you want.” Ryan said. “Jack made enough.”

Jeremy looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Ah, n-no, I’m fine thanks. Just not used to seeing you be all domestic and stuff.”

Geoff reached for a glass. “We try to keep work and relationships separate.”

Michael snorted. “Last week you took us out to dinner and we ended up robbing the place.”

“Separate unless it’s convenient or funny, then.”

“Or that time you and Ryan were doing a stakeout and it turned _into_ a dinner date.”

“I texted you! You said you were busy!”

“I was, actually. I was seeing a movie with Jack and Gavin.”

“Without me and Ryan?”

“You were on a stakeout!”

“Good,” Ryan said, “We’ve come full circle. We can stop now.”

 Jack bit back a laugh and pushed a plate towards Jeremy.

“Please, eat something. You look exhausted.”

Ryan agreed. Jeremy was holding his injured arm close to his side and the wall was supporting more of his weight than he was. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, but the eyes themselves were bright and focused. He looked tired, but ready.

Jeremy sank into one of the chairs and took the plate.

“I don’t want to encroach”-

-“Nonsense.” Jack replied. “What’s with the sudden shyness? You were fine last night and when we had dinner the day before yesterday.”

“Nah, it’s just… I’m not looking forward to later today, is all.”

“What happens later today?”

“It’s easier if you experience it yourself.”

“Of course. I should have known better than to expect a reasonable answer from you.”

“Yep.”

“But seriously,” Ryan said. “You’re following some sort of schedule. It might be smart to… you know. Tell us what we’re doing next.”

“I will. But it would be easier if you brought Gavin back here so I only have to explain everything once.”

Ryan brought Gavin back to the kitchen and he sat in his seat next to Michael, still wearing the helmet.  Jeremy looked a lot more comfortable at the table by the time he came back, wolfing down waffles at an astounding rate. He talked between mouthfuls.

”So I said yesterday we were getting weapons from Prince James.” He grabbed a handful of blueberries from a bowl.

“Alien weapons, I hope.” Geoff said.

“Yeah. We _will_ be going after Prince James soon but we’re not ready yet. We need the alien weapons because without them we have no hope of taking out the Prince’s personal guards. They aren’t like the morons in Colmillo Blanco, they’re his ED-Garde.”

“ED-Garde?” Ryan asked.

“Stands for the _Eternum Defensio_ Garde, which means the ‘Eternal Defence Guard’. Except _Garde_ is a French word and _Eternum Defensio_ is Latin, so I’m not really sure why they decided to mix it up. Or maybe Google Translate told me the wrong thing.”

“It’s probably some historical thing.” Geoff said. “What’s so special about these guys?”

“The ED-Garde has protected Prince James’s royal bloodline for generations. Top of the top sort of guys, all the best tech and all that. That includes the alien technology. I think the Prince brought half a dozen of them with him to Los Santos.”

“You think?”

“It’s hard to know for sure. I’m usually dead before I can do a headcount. They’re a fucking devious bunch.”

“But you have a plan though, right?”

“It’s actually my plan too, not one of yours.” Jeremy pulled the helmet off Gavin’s head and put it on the table. “But we have something else to deal with first. The weapons.”

Ryan tapped his fingernails on the table. “You said Prince James was going to give them to us.”

“Sort of. We’re going to lure his men here, ambush them, and take their weapons.”

“They know we live here. I don’t think they’re gonna fall for an ambush.”

Jeremy spun the helmet between his hands. “Oh they will- as long as we play it right. Do you remember how the Corpirate had something that tracked the location of your universe-jumping device?”

“I remember lugging that damn pellet storage container out of Zancudo dozens of times.” Ryan replied. “I kinda thought it was the helmet that was doing the tracking though. We didn’t see any other tech on the Corpirate when we confronted him. Apart from the laser cannon.”

“I don’t think he was very concerned with tracking the device when the six of you were storming his tower. No, it’s a different device all together and Prince James has a working one.”

“Of course he does.” Geoff said. “Why couldn’t an alien spaceship land near us and give _us_ all the cool tech?”

“It did.” Jack said. “The Corpirate found it first.”

“Rich assholes get all the good luck. We get all the rotten luck.”

“He’s dead, Geoff.”

“Anyway,” Jeremy said, “Prince James is tracking the helmet. He’d tear his hair out if the helmet suddenly disappeared from his radar. As Michael said yesterday, it’s a very powerful piece of technology. So if he suddenly lost track of it, he’d send people to go find it as soon as possible.

“And where was the helmet last? Right here. We’ll pretend we’re not home, and when they come looking we’ll take them out and grab their tech.”

“That’s great,” Michael said, “Except we don’t have any pellet storage containers to hide the helmet in. And he’s gonna see our earpieces and other alien tech move around the apartment.”

“That’s the thing.” Jeremy said. “Prince James can’t track those. Gus said the tracker was used as a way of finding equipment that got misplaced on the spaceship, and each tracker did the equipment for just one ship. He started talking about wavelengths, or strings, or a guy named De Broglie for some reason and I kind of zoned out. But we figured out that fucking with the equipment too much ruined the tracking as well. You change the… the De Broglie wavelength too much and the tracker becomes useless. Everything has a wavelength and the frequency of that wavelength is tied to its mass. So Prince James can’t track any altered alien tech like the earpieces or his own alien weapons, or anything from the other space ship. It’s also why the Corpirate couldn’t track you through the x-ray glasses, and why Prince James couldn’t warn The Inconvenience you were nearby.”

“Ahhh okay.” Michael said, “You sure know a lot about this technology, Jeremy.”

“You do _not_ understand how much trial and error it took to get that information. You guys are lucky you only get to hear the very end of this when most of the hard work’s already been done.”

Jack snorted. “Have you seen Michael’s neck? And Geoff and Gavin almost exploded into a million pieces when Colmillo Blanco betrayed us. I don’t think we’re getting off easy.”

“No, you’re not. But it could be a lot worse. At least you’re all alive, and that’s my main priority.”

“But what about the helmet?” Gavin asked. “How do we hide it from Prince James?”

Jeremy nodded his head towards the front door. “I’m glad you asked, Gavin.”

Sitting by the front door, right where Michael and Gavin had left it, sat the supervisor’s alien enhanced box.

“And that will work?” Jack asked.

“Oh you betcha.”

Geoff let out a low whistle.

“Damn, Jeremy, whoever came up with this plan of yours must’ve been a fucking genius. It’s brilliant. Couldn’t have come up with a better one myself.”

Jack smacked him on the back of his head.

 

*******

 

A helicopter approached from the distance. The vaguely cyan shape grew until the sound of the blades drowned out all other noises, and the helicopter circled the building once. It landed on the roof with a groan that indicated the roof was not designed to support its weight, but it held. The sound of the blades quietened.

A gunshot, then footsteps on the stairs down from the roof. Twenty seconds later, the sound of a boot against the lock of the interior door. The door fell inwards with a crash that sent tiny dust motes scattering in and out of the shadows of the apartment. Boots slowly made their way into the apartment, tiny sounds on the floorboards marking their passage. Guns glinted when they passed through the few lines of sunlight that peeked between the curtains.

One man grunted. He’d walked into a couch that had been haphazardly placed in a hallway, almost invisible in the gloom. He held up a hand to the commander of the group, letting him know he was okay. They carried on through the apartment.

A hand tightened around the man’s neck and he fell backwards into a side room with barely a whisper.

Ryan pressed his other hand against the man’s mouth and nose and threw himself backwards. Ryan controlled their fall to the ground, landing them softly on a rug in the middle of the room. He withdrew his hand from around the man’s throat and pulled his wickedly curved blade out from a sheath on his leg. He slid the knife though the side of his neck, just behind his throat, and dragged the blade across. Blood spilled out of the man’s mouth between Ryan’s fingers but he made no noise as he suffocated on his own blood.

He was dead shortly after. Ryan left the body on the rug and stuck his head past the doorframe of the room, looking for more intruders.

“One more coming down the hall, Ryan.” Jeremy breathed over the comms.

Ryan ducked back into the room and waited, knife at the ready. He held his breath, listening for the gentle creak of floorboards.

They were nice floorboards too. This much blood and they’ll probably need replacing.

The second man peeked into the side room and before he could react, Ryan shoved his knife into the base of his skull. The man let out a choked cough and Ryan gently lowered him on the floor. Blood and a little bit of clear fluid leaked onto his arm. Ryan wiped his arm on the dead guy’s pants.

The dead man on the rug’s earpiece crackled to life.

“Bravo Three how copy.”

Bravo Three was not going to copy. Ryan wasn’t going to waste his time trying to reply- he didn’t know the correct military procedure or how Bravo Three sounded, so there was no point. It did mean he should get out of the room and head somewhere else though. It wouldn’t take long for the commander of the group to realise his men were being picked off.

“Guys,” Ryan whispered, “They’re figuring it out. Guns ready.”

The rest of the apartment was just as dark as the hallway. Ryan’s crew and Jeremy had the advantage here since they knew the home turf, and since Jeremy rearranged all the furniture it was even greater. Ryan was able to shuffle behind a couch in the main room and take up position behind the kitchen counter. A broom whacked into his foot and he turned and caught Gavin grinning at him, a few flecks of blood glistening across his nose.

Gavin reached over the counter and pushed the broom handle against a curtain. A tiny slither of light cast itself across the main room for a fraction of a second.

Quick as lightning, an invader spun around and fired three shots at the curtain. The bullets were cyan and flew through both the curtain and the glass behind it, leaving both undamaged.

Ryan threw a knife where he guessed the shots had come from. The invader gurgled and stumbled into a curtain, pulling it off the window and flooding the main room with light with his grasping fingers. Another invader at the other end of the room that Ryan hadn’t noticed turned and fired. Ryan ducked back behind the counter but Gavin only swayed to the side and returned fire with a silenced pistol. He caught the guy in the shoulder and he dropped behind a couch, hissing in pain.

“Cat’s out of the bag.” Gavin said into his earpiece. The apartment came to life with the sound of gunfire. The gurgling man pulled Ryan’s knife out of his throat. Gavin put a bullet in his head. “Everyone okay?”

Everyone was.

“I’ve locked two of them in the bathroom!” Geoff shouted. Some loud thumps emanated from the other end of the apartment.

“How?!” Jack said.

“I’m holding the door shut!”

“They can shoot through the door!”

“I figured that out already! Get over here!”

The invade shot in the shoulder fired a few cyan bullets through the couch and through the kitchen counter. One passed dangerously close to Ryan’s face and he reared back, flattening himself against the ground. Gavin tapped on his shoulder and motioned for Ryan to flank him.

“Go.” Gavin murmured. “I’ll distract him. It’s what I do best.”

“Don’t do anything too stupid.”

Gavin shot him a cheeky look.

Ryan got on his hands and knees and crawled out from behind the counter. Gavin fired his pistol- no, that was a flare gun. Ryan spared a moment to shake his head before covering his eyes as the room was filled with a pink light.

The couches and coffee table provided the perfect cover to crawl around the length of the room, over the dead guy, and in position to flank the injured one. He could see the guy’s leg and the tips of his fingers clutched over his injured arm. Ryan pulled a silenced pistol from his belt and shot through the thin couch fabric and into his back. The intruder grunted and fell silent.

“Got him.” Ryan said. “Oh. The couch is on fire.”

“Whoops!”

The flare had come to a stop next to the couch and set it alight. Ryan stamped on the flames before they could spread. Gavin joined him with a couch cushion and they smothered the flames.

“To be perfectly honest,” Gavin said, “This is about as well as anything we plan goes.”

“Hey,” Ryan said, “Isn’t this the guy that tried to hold you hostage that one time?”

Gavin peered at the body.

“Huh. And the guy who exploded Rooster Teeth once.” Gavin spat on the corpse. “Good riddance. Now I know what Jeremy meant by a platter of red and white teeth.”

“Did everyone we didn’t kill the last time around end up working for Prince James?”

“That would be about on par for how this week’s been so far.”

“Poetic. We should check on Geoff and Jack.”

They headed to the bathroom, guns raised.

Someone had stuck a chair under the door handle. Geoff and Jack stood on either side of the chair with their hands on their hips.

“Your buddies are dead, pal.” Geoff said. “The two of you can’t take all six of us. You’re better off surrendering.”

“Fuck you!” Came the muffled reply behind the door.

“Geoff,” Ryan said, “Why didn’t you just kill them? Why did you lock them in the bathroom?”

“I panicked, okay?

The bathroom exploded. Smoke billowed out from under the door.

“Bloody hell!” Gavin shouted.

When Ryan’s ears stopped ringing, he called out.

“Geoff, Jack. You guys okay?”

“We’re fine, Ryan.”

“Why the fuck did the bathroom explode?!”

The smoke cleared, revealing Jack and Geoff’s surprised faces. Jack went to rest his hand on the chair but the whole thing collapsed, taking the door with it. They braced themselves for a fight, but it became clear very quickly that nothing could have survived that blast.

Very little in the room was recognisable. The two intrudes inside were reduced to paste.

Jeremy stumbled around the corner, covered in blood. Hopefully it wasn’t his own.

“That was the proximity mine I laid behind the towel rack earlier today.”

Great. Now Ryan would have to buy more face paint.

“Now I have to buy a new bathroom, great.” Geoff complained. “Surely there’s a better way to deal with them than destroying my bathroom?”

“Don’t call me Shirley. Yeah, we could have talked them into surrendering and used them for information, but I already did that many resets ago. They don’t know shit. This is the fastest, safest way I’ve found. There’s a method to my madness, I promise.”

Geoff rubbed a hand through his beard.

“Yeah, okay, okay. Is that everyone then?”

“Michael should have just finished beating the last guy to death with a chair.”

Sure enough, Michael’s panting breath came over the comms.

“Was that blast us or them?”

“Us.” Jack said. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I just beat this guy to death with a fucking chair!”

“I buy you nice guns.” Geoff said. “The nicest. Why do you more often than not resort to using furniture as weapons? Are the guns not nice enough?”

“Oh yeah.” Gavin said. “I may have lit one of the couches on fire.”

“We put it out though.” Ryan added.

“I don’t- I don’t want to know. Good job.”

“Thank you.” Ryan cast a sly look at Gavin, who was ducking away to find Michael, probably hiding a grin. Cheeky bastard.

The gunfire and proximity mine explosion most likely wouldn’t draw the attention of the cops. The people in the lower apartments were used to the penthouse residents coming and going at all times of day, and had learned very quickly not too ask questions when suspicious noises emanated from the top floor. It helped that the floor directly below them was permanently unoccupied, something that had only taken a little persuasion for the building owner to agree to.

There was one thing in the bathroom that had survived the blast- of the intruders had carried an alien enhanced weapon and Ryan gingerly stepped over the detritus to pick it up. As with all other alien technology, it was heavier than it looked and primarily cyan in colour. Someone had welded a scope to it and warped the handgrip into something a human could more easily grip. Ryan supposed the weapon mostly resembled an assault rifle, if he had to compare it to a human weapon.

He looked around for extra clips that held more ammunition.

“Is this all the bullets they had?” Ryan asked. “One clip worth?”

“I told you,” Jeremy said, “Prince James doesn’t have a lot of ammunition. They have to make every bullet count.”

“We should pool all the weapons together.” Geoff said. “See how much ammunition we have for each type of bullet and divide it accordingly.”

“There’s only one type of bullet.” Jeremy said. “But it’s a good idea to take stock of what we have and divide up the weapons.”

Gavin and Michael appeared from the direction of the roof entrance to the apartment. Michael brought a bloodied chair leg with him and Gavin carried an alien weapon reminiscent of a sniper rifle. They dropped their finds in the smoke-filled main room. Jack and Jeremy wandered around the house following the trail of the dead, and Ryan picked over the two he killed in the side room.

“I knew we had more chairs!” Geoff said, watching the pile of stuff in the middle of the main room grow. Anything they suspected could be alien technology went on the pile.

Gavin nudged couch-guy with his foot. A bit more blood seeped out of the wound onto the floorboards.

“This one was waiting for me, Geoff!” Michael said. “Guy was just sitting in his helicopter waiting for his team to come back. I see a chair sitting next to the door out and chucked it. The guy almost fell off his seat and I got ‘im good with the chair leg.”

“No guesses who you can thank for that.”

“It was me!” Jeremy called out.

“Thanks, Jeremy.”

“It’s a bit like the good old days,” Gavin said. “Us sitting around a pile of weapons in the middle of a room, trying to count ammunition.”

Ryan smirked, then realised no one could see it under the mask and he took it off.

“You have any more sniper rifles or rocket launchers tucked away somewhere?”

“You have any more handsome devils hidden behind black skull masks?”

Ryan lunged and grabbed Gavin around the waist.

“No, Ryan! No”- Gavin laughed. Ryan slid the mask over his face.

“I’ve got one right here.”

“Nawww.” Jack said.

Michael pretended to splutter and vomit.

“Nope. Nope.” Jeremy muttered, sorting through the stuff on the floor. “Definitely not. Flare gun. Yes. No. Okay.”

“Oooh!” Michael said. “Dibs on the shotgun!” He pulled a weapon from the pile.

“For the love of God,” Jack said, “Please do not fire that in the house.”

“Well the bullets will go through everything.”

“But not _us_. Wait. Why don’t the bullets go through us?” Jack asked.

“Oh they do.” Jeremy replied. “Very quickly, and with a lot of force. Something about organics. Don’t point that thing at any pot plants, Michael.”

Ryan picked the alien assault rifle back up.

He liked it.

“Dibs.” Ryan said. “This is mine now.”

“I want the sniper rifle!” Gavin shouted.

“Do _not_ give him the sniper rifle, Jeremy.” Geoff said.

“I won’t.” Jeremy replied. “It’s staying with me. I’m the only one that knows how to use her.”

“I’ve used a sniper rifle before.” Gavin argued. “We all have.”

“These guns take practice to use properly. We’ll need to head somewhere deserted and practice.”

Michael checked the ammunition in his alien shotgun and in the pile on the floor.

“We’ve got maybe a hundred rounds. It’s not really much to practice with.”

Ryan checked his own clip. The air over his hand chilled and condensed, leaving drops of water on his skin.

“Do these bullets look familiar to you?” he asked the room. “They look just like the exploding pellets from the pellet storage containers.”

Jeremy sighed. “Yeah. They are.”

Jack frowned. “Why are you sighing, Jeremy?”

“Because this is the part I wasn’t looking forward to. We don’t have that many rounds to work with, and it’s not enough for you guys to practice with or to take down Prince James. We’ll need to get more.”

Ryan felt his stomach drop.

“So?” Geoff said. “We’ll just take however many the Prince has left. Does he have a warehouse or something we can raid?”

Jeremy shook his head. “He doesn’t have anything like that. There’s only one place we can get more of these bullets.”

Gavin started shaking his head. Jeremy looked at the floor.

“Zancudo.”

 

 *******

 

Fort Zancudo.

Ryan pursed his lips.

“Nope.” Geoff said. “Not going back there. What’s plan B?”

“Plan B involves getting shot to fucking pieces.” Jeremy said. “But if you want to do that again, be my guest. I’ll help the next Geoff.”

Geoff ran his hands over his face.

“I _can’t_ , Jeremy. I can’t go back, and I won’t ask my crew to either. You don’t know what it was like”-

Jeremy raised his eyebrows at Geoff.

“But it’s different,” Geoff said. “We were enemies! We didn’t know who we could trust! I thought I was gonna go crazy!”

Jeremy, somehow, raised his eyebrows higher. Geoff grumbled and, in a rare display of frustration, kicked at the smouldering couch.

“Gah!”

He made to leave the room but Jack pulled him back, held him steady with a secure arm.

“Geoff, we need to talk about this”-

-“I’m not leaving and leaving you guys to deal with this.” Geoff said. “I’m going to come up with something better. Gavin, start finding out what you can about Prince James’s ED-Garde.”

Gavin, pale, gave a shaky nod. Geoff shook Jack’s arm away but Jack grabbed at him again.

“Geoff,” Jack said, his voice soft and stern at the same time. “Geoff. Look at me.”

Geoff griped and squeezed his eyes shut, screwing his face up. Jack cupped a hand under his jaw. Geoff relaxed into the hand and slumped forwards, sighing like all his energy had gone. Jack led him to the unburnt end of the couch and Geoff laid down on it with his hands covering his eyes.

“Eugh.” Geoff groaned. “Fine. Talk.”

Jeremy cleared his throat.

“Uh, we sneak into Zancudo, steal their alien tech, and use it to bring down a powerful prick who has suddenly taken a liking to world domination.”

“Same old, same old.” Michael said. “You make it sound like we’re the good guys.”

“Good God no. We’re the lesser of two evils, I think.” Jeremy replied. “And ho boy we’ve killed a lot of people. Most of them repeatedly.”

“We’re the comparatively good guys.” Ryan said quietly.

Gavin wrapped one of his hands around Michael’s.

“Michael, I don’t want to go back, Michael. I don’t think I could.”

Michael pulled his close. “Of course you can. You’ve done this thousands of times before. And we can get in and out of Zancudo no problem, right Jeremy?”

Jeremy nodded. “No-one’s died in Zancudo in hundreds of resets, Gavin. It’s a solid plan.”

Jack narrowed his eyes.

“You’re lying, Jeremy. Why are you lying to us?”

Jeremy raised his hands in a placating manner.

“No, guys, don’t take it the wrong way. There are accidents here and there because I’m not the only one that makes mistakes. Overall we make it through. I said hundreds because I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Well I’m worried _now_.” Jack said.

“And I’m even more worried!” Geoff said. “What do you mean by ‘accidents’?”

“I can’t do everything exactly the same every reset. Tiny changes compound into big effects, people get injured, other people don’t get injured, someone doesn’t sleep well that night, and it all affects how things play out. Like the butterfly effect. Sometimes those accidents are fatal. You all found this out when you were stuck in Zancudo.”

“It’s true.” Michael said. “I don’t any of us ever died in exactly the same way.”

Jack’s gaze focused on Michael. “Since when did you start supporting Jeremy so much?”

“Since he helped us take down The Inconvenience.”

Jack chewed his lip.

“So you’re going along with this then?”

Michael nodded. “He hasn’t led us wrong.”

“And you’ve checked.” Jack said, addressing Jeremy. “There’s no other pellet storage containers anywhere in Los Santos?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Believe me, if there was any other way…”

“Are you _sure_ we need the alien weapons to beat Prince James?”

“If we want any hope of taking out his ED-Garde, yes. This is it.”

Jack sighed and threw his hands up.

“Okay. If it worked before, then it’ll work again. But I’ll go with whatever Geoff wants to do.”

“Which is anything but this!” Geoff called out. “We can find another way!”

“Ryan,” Michael said, “You can convince Geoff to go back to Zancudo, right? You agree don’t you?”

All eyes in the room turned to him. Ryan pulled the alien assault rifle closer to his chest, as a sort of barrier between him and the expectant expressions.

If it had been for anyone else, Ryan would have started packing his bags and looking for the earliest flight out of Los Santos. Nothing was worth going back there. If it was between Zancudo and a gunshot to the face, Ryan would have taken the bullet.

But it wasn’t for anyone else. It was for his crew- his family. And he would walk through hell on earth to keep them safe.

But the piece of paper in his pocket held him back from saying so. He opened his mouth, reconsidered, and said something else.

“...I’m on the fence about it. Jeremy, is this a decision we need to come to quickly?”

“I need an answer by tonight. We need to be there before dawn tomorrow.”

Ryan nodded absentmindedly, thinking.

Geoff’s burner phone dinged.

“And look at that.” Geoff said. “Burnie wants to talk to us about finishing off Colmillo Blanco. There. We can do that instead.”

“Geoff”- Jack started, but Geoff cut him off.

-“Colmillo Blanco is the more immediate threat to us. We can deal with them first and that in turn will make things easier for us against Prince James. Who knows? Maybe without the support of Colmillo Blanco working for him, Prince James will piss off back to whatever country he comes from and stop bothering us.”

“That sounds like wishful thinking, Geoff. We have to be realistic about this”-

-“What’s realistic, _Jack_ ,” Geoff snapped, “is staying the fuck away from the one place that hates us more than the police department. Who has jets and tanks and a million soldiers who saw us waltz out of there nine months ago with some of their prized alien tech. It’s too risky and I don’t care if Jeremy has a million fucking shots to do this- we’ve only got one. So once we’re all ready we’re going to Rooster Teeth.”

 

 *******

 

The drive to Rooster Teeth was tense. It was cramped in Geoff’s Roosevelt, which Matt had nicely returned, with six of them in the car and a clear divide between Geoff and Gavin, and Michael and Jack.

“You don’t have to come, Geoff.” Michael said. “I reckon the rest of us can handle it.”

“You’re just riding the high of getting rid of The Inconvenience.” Geoff retorted. “And Gavin doesn’t want to go either. Do you think you can do it with just four people? No, either we all go or no one goes.”

“Well the _Lads_ snuck in fine the first time with only three people.”

“Your plan only has one Lad left.”

“Your plan is to run away from Zancudo with your tail between your legs!”

“What happened to ‘you go, I’ll follow’? Are we not doing that anymore?”

“That doesn’t mean I’ll follow you off a damn cliff Geoff! I’d hoped by now you’d trust my judgement as much as yours!”

“Stop it!” Jack said. “We’ll listen to what Burnie has to say and work out what to do from there.”

The car fell into an uneasy silence. Ryan and Jeremy looked at each other.

“See? I said I wasn’t looking forward to later today.” Jeremy whispered.

Ryan hated seeing Geoff look so frantic, and Gavin look so afraid. The last time they’d fought like this was three months ago. As much as Ryan wanted to try and calm things down, he really didn’t want to get involved. Maybe Burnie would help smooth things over with a solution.

When they walked into the conference room, it wasn’t just Burnie waiting for them. Trevor, Mica, Barbara, and Blaine sat with him and the mood in the conference room was agitated. Ryan decided to loiter just inside the doors he could see the whole room better, not really wanting to go in.

“I feel like Lindsay should be here.” Gavin said. Trevor waved his phone in the air.

“As soon as she checks her damn phone.”

“Jeremy!” Burnie said, full of fake charm. “Why don’t Blaine and Barbara show you around a bit?”

They ushered Jeremy out of the room, who went with them unprotesting, and shut the door behind them.

“Burnie,” Geoff said, “Jeremy’s not gonna do anything. He should be in here.”

“I think you’re being far too trusting of a guy who _broke into this building_ two days ago.”

Okay. Clearly Burnie was still not a fan of Jeremy. That was understandable. A few days ago everyone was wary of him and now the Fakes were inviting him to their apartment and destroying Colmillo Blanco safehouses together.

“And yet because of him,” Geoff said, “we’re alive and two of the three head honchos of Colmillo Blanco are dead. I’m not really seeing why we shouldn’t.”

Michael put his feet up on the nice wooden table. “Yeah. And I assume Geoff told you about how we took down The Inconvenience with his help.”

Trevor pulled a face. “That’s what we wanted to talk to you about.”

Burnie tucked his hands under his chin and leaned on the table. “We’re worried Dooley’s not helping you- you’re helping him instead.”

“That”- Geoff looked confused. “That means the same thing, right? That’s how language works?”

Jack leaned forwards in his seat. “Jeremy’s working towards the same goal as us, Burnie. We’re not being used. We both want Prince James dead.”

“I don’t care about Prince James!” Burnie said. “I care about you guys! I don’t want you doing Dooley’s bidding if it ends up killing you. And it sounds like it has before.”

“We need Jeremy.” Jack explained. “Prince James is the mastermind behind all the Colmillo Blanco bullshit and Jeremy knows how to stop him.”

Mica crossed her legs. “Prince James is far away from home with very few allies. If we deal with Colmillo Blanco he won’t have the manpower to bother us.”

“Except for his ED-Garde.” Michael said.

“We’ve done a bit of digging and found that’s six people. Six people can’t do much.” Mica replied.

“You’d be surprised,” Ryan said in a low voice, “at what six people can accomplish.”

Mica blinked. Ryan didn’t think she knew what really went happened between the Lads and Gents nine months ago, but she must suspect something strange went down now if she didn’t before. It was strictly need-to-know, but if she was high up enough to be part of this meeting Ryan would bet she’d do some digging of her own.

Michael nodded. “Prince James should be our priority. He’s too dangerous to leave alone.”

“Hmm. Okay.” Burnie said. “And what’s the plan to take him down?”

“Well”-

-“Let me guess. Dooley’s told you bits and pieces, but he hasn’t given you the whole story.”

“He said he’d tell us everything when he can”-

-“Except the threat of the helmet’s long past. So why hasn’t he told you the whole plan yet?”

“Would you stop interrupting me?” Michael snapped.

“Michael,” Burnie said gently. “Listen.”

“No,” Michael said, “ _You_ listen. The Fakes know _exactly_ what Jeremy’s going through. He’s not gonna what, what do you think he’s gonna do? Turn us over to Prince James? Steal our alien tech? He could have done that a thousand times over and didn’t!”

“He’s going to leave as soon as things go wrong!” Trevor shouted. “His reset doesn’t involve any of you. As soon as something happens to one of you, and you won’t work with him anymore, he’s going to move on to the next universe. And you’re pretty invaluable to the people stuck in this one.”

“It’s probably why he picked you,” Burnie continued, into the suddenly quiet room. “He could have got anyone in Los Santos to help him and he picked the only people here that can emphasise with him. You’re just tools to him.”

Geoff and Jack exchanged a look, frowning. Michael settled back down into his chair and cast a glance at Ryan. Ryan remained impassive beneath his mask, but his heart was beating fast and the sick weight of dread settled heavy in his stomach.

Jeremy had told them he was manipulating them. If the issue with The Inconvenience spying on them had passed, why hadn’t he told them the rest of his plan?

But when it had been the Fakes stuck in the loop, they hadn’t told Burnie the whole truth. Jack told Burnie the Lads were at Rooster Teeth as part of a business deal so security wouldn’t shoot them on sight. He could see where Burnie was coming from, but he didn’t understand. Not fully. And he should be thankful for that.

The most important thing for Rooster Teeth and the Fakes to do was trust Jeremy like Burnie had trusted Jack. Everything else was just details.

And Ryan, at least, trusted Jeremy.

“He told us.” Gavin said. “He said he was trying to manipulate us. That’s honesty, in a way.”

“I know,” Burnie said, “it must’ve been nice when Dool-when Jeremy turned up. He’s someone who already gets you, and knows what you’ve been through, and hell, maybe it was nice being a team of six again. But you’re a means to an end, and he’s gonna use you up. No-one here wants that to happen.

“So here’s what we propose. Forget Prince James, he’s not our most immediate concern. We take down the last dregs of Colmillo Blanco. Vagabond, if you can get the location of the last leader out of”-

-“I told him my name.” Ryan said.

“What?”

“Jeremy.” Ryan clarified. “I told him what my name is. Not in this universe, but some time ago in Jeremy’s history.”

“Well that doesn’t mean”- Burnie said, but Ryan was already shaking his head.

Ryan opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. He heard the scraping of chairs behind him. Ryan felt around in his pocket for his phone- dammit. Jeremy threw it into the ocean. He leaned against the wall outside the conference room, taking a moment to breathe and remove the doubt from his mind.

Jeremy had proven time and time again that he would do everything in his power to stop the Fakes from dying. Could he explain that to Burnie? Was it possible to without experiencing it for himself?

Ryan found himself suddenly in Jeremy’s shoes. Jeremy’s reasoning was starting to make sense.

Geoff grabbed his arm. Jack, Michael, and Gavin stood behind him. The hallway was otherwise empty.

“Ryan.” Geoff said, almost a whisper. “Are you sure?”

Ryan nodded.

“Are you _sure_.”

“… Yes.”

“Alright.” Geoff stuck his head back through the doorway. “I think we’re done here.” He closed the door. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” Michael said.

“Dunno. Let’s just find Jeremy and get out of here. I need to think.”

 

*******

 

They ended up driving to Geoff’s dock. A few seabirds coasted on the strong southern winds, appearing to hang in the air. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Last night’s heavy clouds had passed them by. Low tide revealed rotting and barnacle covered wooden pylons, lapping waves gently foamed the water’s edge. It was peaceful.

Geoff slammed the Roosevelt’s door shut and leaned against it.

“Well now I don’t know what to do!” he complained. “Burnie didn’t help at all.”

“Geoff,” Michael said, “you know what to do.”

“I really don’t!”

“Burnie was trying to cut Jeremy loose! It wasn’t really about dealing with Colmillo Blanco, it was about dealing with Jeremy!”

“Not just Burnie.” Jack said. “Trevor. Mica. I think this was something the rest of Rooster Teeth had been discussing for days.”

Ryan glanced over to Jeremy. He stayed sitting in the back of the Roosevelt, his eyes downcast. He hadn’t said a word the entire trip here, letting them think and draw their own conclusions without interruption.

Another car pulled up. Ryan’s hand went to his belt but he stopped when Lindsay stepped out of the driver’s seat.

“Lindsay?” Michael called out. “What are you doing here?”

Lindsay dropped a backpack in front of him.

“Jeremy called me last night saying we were gonna play The Stanley Parable, and to pick up this bag and come here at this time. Then he told me to turn my phone off, which I did, because I’m not disobeying the narrator if he’s helping you.”

The Stanley Parable. Of course, one of Michael’s code words.

“Sweet.” Michael said. “What’s in the bag?”

“New phones, some snacks, and a key to a safehouse I don’t think we actually own. Because if we did, I would know about it.”

“Lindsay,” Gavin said, “Did you know Burnie wanted you at a meeting today?”

Lindsay shook her head. “I imagine me missing that was all part of Jeremy’s grand plan.”

Jack rifled through the bag and distributed the phones to everyone.

“I bet the safehouse is somewhere we can lay low and avoid Burnie and the rest of Rooster Teeth. They’ll probably keep trying to convince us to abandon Jeremy.”

Ryan took his mask off. “Which is annoying, because we could have used Burnie’s help if we did end up going back to Zancudo. I don’t think he’s willing to devote time or resources to dealing with Prince James.”

“Zancudo?!” Lindsay said. “Why would you ever want to go back there?”

As the rest of them filled Lindsay in, Ryan walked to the end of the dock. There was a speedboat moored to a post along one side. In the distance, Geoff’s yacht sat alone on the water.

He looked at the bit of paper in his pocket again. He made a decision. He tucked the paper away.

Ryan pulled his new phone out and called a number he’d memorised years ago.

“There’s only one person who still calls this old number,” a feminine voice answered. “Ryan Haywood. What can I do for you?”

“Meg, not even a hello?” Ryan teased.

“You only ever call in times of crisis. I’m surprised I can’t hear explosions in the background right now, if I’m being honest.” Meg replied. The words were sarcastic, but her tone was light.

“Are you busy right now? I’d appreciate it if you could help me out with something.”

“Like what?”

“I need backup for this thing I’m planning”-

-“And you can’t ask your boyfriends? Which reminds me we need to meet up again, and soon. I haven’t seen you in like two months and I know this great sushi place on Vinewood Boulevard”-

-“I think they’d try to talk me out of it.” Ryan cut in. “If something comes of it I’ll tell them about it, but otherwise there’s no point getting them worried over nothing.”

“Oooh,” Meg said, “Is it a secret then?”

“Not really. Can you help me?”

“I would love to, but I’m doing a job in Japan right now. So sorry.”

“A shame. When you come back, I’d be happy to have sushi though if you’re not sick of it.”

“I’m looking forward to it. It is, however, the middle of the night right now so I’d like to go back to bed if there’s nothing else pressing.”

“Sorry! I forgot about time zones. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Later. Good luck with your secret sneaky thing, Ryan.”

“Thanks. Goodnight.”

Ryan ended the call and put his phone away. Great. He had other contacts he could call but none he trusted with something like this. He put his mask on again and walked back to the others.

Well, there was _one_ person he was pretty sure he could rely on. One person who would probably like the show of faith in him.

“Jeremy,” Ryan said, pulling the car door open, “How would you like to help me with a personal problem?”

Jeremy looked utterly confused. “If you’re having… personal issues, that sounds like something you need to talk to your crew about in private…”

“Not that sort of problem, Jeremy.”

“Well, okay then.”

“Good.” Ryan said. “Guys, we’ll be back in a few hours. I have some stuff I need to do.”

“Do you need any help?” Jack asked.

“Nah.”

“Okay, have fun. Call us if there’s a problem.”

Ryan gave a salute and headed towards Lindsay’s car, Jeremy trailing him.

“We’ll meet you at the new safehouse!” Geoff called after then. Ryan signalled he heard and started Lindsay’s car.

Jeremy climbed in the passenger seat and Ryan pulled away from the dock.

“Uhhh Ryan?” Jeremy asked. “Where are we going?”

“You don’t know?”

“No?”

“Then this is going to be a first for both of us. Type this address into your GPS.” Ryan handed him the slip of paper.

“Twelve Sustancia Road, Palomino Highlands.” Jeremy read. “What is this place?”

“A parting gift from The Inconvenience. We’ll buy some silenced weapons and some body armour and see what it is.”

 

 *******

 

“Then let Ryan take care of him.” Michael said.

Ryan nodded. He pulled a knife from a sheath on his leg, a wickedly curved thing, and pressed it against The Inconvenience’s neck.

“It might be for the best if you head back to the truck.” Ryan said in a low voice. “I’ll meet you there. I owe him a lot of pain for what he did to Geoff and Jack.”

Gavin and Geoff helped Michael back up the hill. Once they were out of sight, Ryan returned his attention to The Inconvenience.

“You’re lucky.” Ryan said. “You don’t get to suffer for as long as you deserve.”

The Inconvenience coughed up a lungful of blood.

“I can see you burning with curiosity, Mr Haywood.” The Inconvenience gasped. Ryan narrowed his eyes. The Inconvenience continued. “It’s why you haven’t started… wasting your time torturing me yet. You’ve wanted to meet the man who… broke Jones and Ramsey for a very long time.”

“They are not broken. And ‘meet’ is such a weak word for all the things I want to do to you.”

Ryan hated to admit it, but he _was_ curious. Ryan was the only one who never met The Inconvenience in Arcadius. He wanted to really _enjoy_ the time he had with him. Really return the favour for those who had suffered at his hand.

“You don’t…have the time, Mr Haywood. I know how you can better spend it.”

“I can make seconds feel like an eternity.” Ryan slid his knife slowly along The Inconvenience’s neck. More blood dribbled down his front. The Inconvenience groaned in pain. “I know a lot about eternity.”

“Let me make you a… deal, Mr Haywood.” The Inconvenience choked out.

“If you think there’s any chance you’re crawling away from this”-

-“I know better. But you can give me a quicker… death. I know things that the alien helmet cannot tell you. I can… give you answers.”

“About what?”

“About… why you’re here. The alien technology. What… it is. What it’s done and what it can do. You’re a curious man, I can tell.” The Inconvenience coughed. The action caused more blood to spill out of his neck.

Ryan shook his head slowly, tutting.

“For such a proud man in life, you’re pathetic in death. Maybe I should cut your tongue out so you can’t beg. Spare us both the embarrassment.”

“Like I made Mr Pattillo beg. If you think I’m pathetic you… should have seen him whimper at the mere mention of pain.” The Inconvenience licked his lips, gauging Ryan’s reaction. “Did I strike… a nerve, Mr Haywood?”

And Ryan _smiled_ at The Inconvenience.

He pressed a foot into The Inconvenience’s stomach and forced him against the rock face. The knife wound in his spine made contact with a sharp rock and The Inconvenience groaned. Ryan pushed harder, until his whole weight was behind the action, and The Inconvenience _howled_. He only grew louder as Ryan increased the pressure, feeling bones and cartilage grind against the rock. Finally, when Ryan’s legs were trembling with the effort, did he step back and The Inconvenience panted for breath.

“Did I strike a nerve?” Ryan taunted. “More than one, by the sound of it. Who knew the spine was that sensitive?”

Tears rolled down The Inconvenience’s face.

“Please… Let me die. I can give you something… to help bring down James.” He feebly scratched at his jacket and a pen fell from an inside pocket. “Make it stop.”

Ryan sighed, annoyed, but he picked up the pen. “Tell me what you know.”

The Inconvenience whispered out an address. Ryan pulled a slip of paper from his pocket, the paper Jeremy had used earlier to demonstrate how the alien bullets worked, and dutifully wrote the address down.

“One of the Corpirate’s scientists… is working on something.” The Inconvenience said. His voice grew weaker. “Brains… it’s about brains.”

“Okay, thanks for that.” Ryan said. “Now, I think I’ll start with the fingernails… no, the eyes. You know what? I’ll let you pick. Go on.”

The Inconvenience spat out more blood. “I told you what… I know! Give me a… quick death.”

Ryan clicked his tongue.

“Yeah… nah. You see, _I said no such thing_.”

Ryan grabbed one of The Inconvenience’s trembling hands and pressed the blade under the thumbnail.

The Inconvenience wasn’t going to remember saying that to Michael, because technically it wasn’t him that said it. But it made something dark and delighted bloom inside Ryan.

He applied pressure. The Inconvenience screamed.

“You… you…”

“You!” Ryan mocked. “I still don’t hear sirens. Do you think I can get both hands done before I do? I want to alternate hand-eye-hand-eye.”

Maybe it wasn’t the original Inconvenience. This one still deserved to die a slow, agonising death.

The Inconvenience shrieked and wailed.

“Pattillo has Ramsey, Free has Jones, but Haywood has no-one!” The Inconvenience cried. “You chased him away! You couldn’t protect him! You can’t protect anyone! And they hate you for it!”

Ryan let his knife fall away from the hand.

“They’ll always be scared of the Vagabond!” The Inconvenience continued. “You’re a monster and you’ll never change. You’ll go mad like you always knew you would, and murder them in your sleep! And then you’ll realise you’ll always be alo- hurk!”

The Inconvenience’s tongue flopped onto his chest and slid to the ground in a pool of blood. The Inconvenience gurgled, choking on his words.

“Much better.” Ryan said. “Now where was I…”

 

 *******

 

“God, Ryan,” Jeremy said, “That’s really… graphic. Do you think it’s a trap?”

“That’s why I brought you along. If it is, you can help. I don’t think so, though.”

“Why me and not your crew?”

“I was only one of the six, well, five of us to not personally suffer at the hand of The Inconvenience. I think they’d reject anything The Inconvenience offered out of principle. I thought about burning the paper and ignoring it, but if there’s something here that can help us with Zancudo or avoid it altogether, I have to find it.”

“If whatever’s here ends up being useful, you’ll have to tell them though.” Jeremy said.

“Of course. But if it’s a trap, or it’s nothing, I don’t want to needlessly stress them out or worry them. I’ll bring it up once this whole mess is over and done with but they, Geoff especially, have enough pressure on them right now.”

“Makes sense.”

Ryan pulled Lindsay’s car up a few hundred metres away from the scientist’s house.

“Shit.” Ryan said. “I don’t have anything for you to cover your face with.”

“Oh. No, wait, no problem.” Jeremy produced two tubes of black face paint from a pocket. “I was meant to give these to you when we started planning for Zancudo, but I don’t see a problem in using one now.”

“This almost makes up for blowing up my bathroom and destroying my entire supply.” Ryan took his mask off, revealing a clean face. He didn’t have time to put on the face paint this morning. “I’ll do you if you do me, and we’ll match.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Ryan dabbed some of the mixture onto his fingertips. Jeremy closed his eyes and Ryan applied it over his eyelids. “Have you ever put face paint on someone else before?” he asked Jeremy.

“No, never.”

Ryan dotted some intricate patterns on his nose and forehead. “It’s like finger-painting on a squishy canvas.”

“I thought you were gonna give me advice or something on how to do a better job.”

“It’s not rocket science. Stick your finger in the paint and wiggle it over my face.”

“Eloquent.”

Jeremy squeezed some of the paint onto his hand and applied it with slightly shaking fingers. The cool paint touched under his eyes, over his cheekbones, and in stripes over his lips.

“I painted a skull. Well, it’s a little sketchy, so people might think you’re a juggalo actually.”

Ryan huffed a laugh. “Hopefully we kill everyone before they can comment on your artistic skill. Shall we?”

They closed the car doors gently behind them. Ryan checked his bulletproof vest was on properly and they made their way towards the house.

Sustancia Road backed onto the oil fields and was, for the most part, deserted. The Palomino Highlands were barely developed and the natural foliage provided enough cover for Ryan and Jeremy to sneak right up to the house’s back door. It was single storey with new but slightly water damaged external walls. Tinny pop music played from a speaker somewhere inside.

“I can’t see any security systems.” Ryan whispered to Jeremy. “I can hear people moving about inside though. There’s more than just a scientist here, if The Inconvenience was telling the truth.”

“Guards?” Jeremy guessed. “Interns?”

“If he lives here, he’s not rich or important enough to have interns. This place is sort of a dump.”

The backdoor opened and a man stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. Ryan and Jeremy ducked behind the door and stood flush against the wall. The man lit his cigarette and stared out over the distant buildings of Downtown Los Santos. A rifle was slung over his shoulder.

Ryan aimed his silenced pistol and shot him in the back of the head.

The man’s legs gave way and he tumbled forward over the incline, disappearing from sight. No cries of alarm issued from inside the house, the sound of the bullet presumably masked by the speaker and chatter emanating from there.

Jeremy risked a glance around the door.

“It’s a kitchen.” he whispered. “Two inside, both sitting at the counter.”

“I’ll take the one on the left.”

“Got it. On three.”

One of the people turned the page of a newspaper and argued.

“I still say he’s just late. It’s happened before.”

“Nonsense.” A feminine voice replied. “You know what happened to the Lieutenant. I reckon they got Taurus as well.”

“As if Adam would ever be that careless. He’s staying with the right hand man of the Prince for Christ sake. They just forgot again.”

“Well we could call them and confirm.”

“And get yelled at for wasting Adam’s time? We should wait another day, at least.”

“One,” Jeremy murmured, “two, three!”

They spun around the door and fired simultaneously. Ryan’s shot took the ear off the guy sitting on the left while Jeremy’s shot hit the other straight through her eye. She fell off her chair and the one eared guy swore. Ryan shot him once more and this shot hit him in the neck, and he hit the floor with a spray of blood.

“Wha- shit!” A third voice said. Ryan caught a flash of black hair before the third person ducked back out of the kitchen. Ryan and Jeremy quickly gave chase.

Bullets peppered the wall next to him. Ryan dove to the floor, pulling Jeremy with him. Jeremy grunted when his bad arm made contact with the ground.

“I think we lost the element of surprise.” Ryan said.

“Ya think?!”

Jeremy provided cover fire as Ryan peered around the corner. Black-hair was taking refuge in the family room, and had a solid piece of timber protecting him from Jeremy’s fire.

“He’s behind the coffee table.” Ryan said.

“I can’t shoot through that.”

“Give me a minute then.”

Jeremy stopped shooting to reload and the gunfire continued from the family room. When Black-hair reloaded Ryan scooted out from behind the corner and crawled to the front of the coffee table. Jeremy returned fire, albeit much higher than before, and Ryan shuffled to the left of the coffee table.

As soon as Black-hair tried to return fire himself, Ryan stuck his pistol around the side and emptied his clip. The shooting stopped. Ryan checked the guy was dead.

“Yep, he’s dead.” Ryan called. He stuck his head up over the top of the coffee table.

Two bullets whizzed by far too close to his skull.

“Dammit Jeremy! It’s me!”

“Oh sorry!” Jeremy replied. “You said he was behind the coffee table!”

“Well I became the guy behind the coffee table. I said I got him.”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

“It wouldn’t be the worst way I’ve died. We should finish sweeping the house.”

The bathroom, laundry, and bedroom were clear. Ryan opened a door expecting to see the garage, instead, he was met with a wall of papers and whiteboards. So this was where the scientist was holed up.

Something pink hit his shoulder. Ryan flinched back on instinct, but when the pink object clattered to the ground he noticed it was a protractor. A ruler hit his knee next, and Ryan caught sight of the frantic scientist assaulting him.

“Stay back!” The scientist yelled. They looked androgynous and wore a bright pink fluffy jumper. They also brandished a box cutter in one hand while the other felt around for more measuring equipment to throw, Ryan guessed.

A spirit level flew at him next. Ryan batted it out of the way. “Stop it.”

“Don’t come any closer!” They hefted a triple beam balance in one hand. Ryan trained his pistol on them.

“I said _stop it_.”

The scientist dropped the triple beam balance. It smashed to pieces on the garage floor.

Jeremy joined him in the garage and they both aimed at the scientist.

“How many people live here?” Jeremy barked.

The scientist jumped and dropped the box cutter.

“J-just me. There’s the guards, but they come and go on rotation.”

“How many?”

“Four.”

Ryan and Jeremy lowered their weapons.

“Do you work for them?” Ryan asked.

“Who?”

“Colmillo Blanco, or Prince James.”

“I mean, technically, yes, but against my will. Please don’t kill me. I’m almost finished my thesis.”

“We’re not going to kill you.” Ryan assured them. They let out a deep breath. “What are they making you do here?”

“Research. A _lot_ of research. Alien stuff. I know it sounds unbelievable”-

-“We believe you. What sort of alien stuff? Weapons?”

“I do a lot of theoretical stuff. I’m a theoretical physicist.” They gave a nervous laugh. “Or I will be once I can go back to college.”

“Do you have any alien weapons or technology here with you?”

They pointed to the back wall. Next to large window was a desk with a couple of cyan and red items scattered across it. “You and your… buddy can take them and I won’t tell anyone.”

They wrung their hands together, tears forming in their eyes. They looked exhausted, Ryan noticed. And far too young to be caught up in something like this. Ryan inclined his head towards the door.

“Go on. Get out of here before the police come.”

The scientist paused for just a fraction of a second before rushing out the door.

“Ryan, we could have used them!” Jeremy said.

“I know. But they were just a kid. We’ll take pictures of whatever looks important and send it to Gus. Take a look at the tech and see if any of it looks familiar, would you?”

“Right.”

Ryan took pictures of the whiteboards with his phone while Jeremy inspected the tech. Most of it looked like gibberish to him, with very few numbers involved and letters from the Greek and Latin alphabets. There were a lot of wobbly circles and doughnuts and he didn’t know what they had to do with the research, but he wasn’t a scientist so who was he to judge?

“Oh,” he said, reading one of the boards. “Not brains… branes. Hmmm. Interesting…”

A jar sitting on a shelf caught some sunlight and drew his eye. It was filled with a clear liquid, and a purple and green object floated within. It slowly rolled around to face him and Ryan took a step towards it, strangely enchanted.

“Ryan!” Jeremy called him over. “There’s something here I’m pretty sure is a weapon!”

Jeremy held up something that looked, at first glance, like a rocket launcher. Cyan pulses of light travelled the length of the cylinder. A circle of red symbols projected out around the end of the cylinder, but they flickered and jumped about. Red wires hung out the back and there was a large tear in the side. Jeremy struggled to lift it, his arms shaking with the effort. Ryan took the cylinder off him so he could relax his injured arm.

And it weighed a _tonne_.

“This feels like a weapon all right.” Ryan said. He found something that was probably a trigger on the underside of the barrel. “Maybe we don’t have to go to Zancudo. If this is a fucking alien rocket launcher we don’t need to worry about the ED-Garde.”

“Mmm… we should stick to the plan though. We can get Gus to take a look at it after we’re finished with Prince James.”

Sirens started in the distance.

“The cops just get slower and slower.” Ryan commented. “So where is Prince James staying, anyway?”

“He’s in the Templar Hotel, south building.”

“Fitting.”

Ryan knew where that was. He could even see it out the window. Ryan spun the barrel of the rocket launcher around to aim out towards the city.

“Ryan, no!” Jeremy shouted.

Ryan pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened. There was no burst of light, or recoil, or anything. The cyan pulses and red symbols flickered once more and died out. Somehow, the cylinder felt even heavier.

“Dammit.” Ryan said, resting the dead cylinder against the bench. “Too broken. Why did you say no, Jeremy? I could have solved everything right then and there.”

“Just stick with the plan, okay? Geoff’s plan.”

“Maybe if you told me more about the plan I’d be more willing to follow it.”

“If I told you about Zancudo when I first met you, would you really have listened to me? Or would you have called me a madman and shot me?”

“…I see your point. We need to go. Is there anything here we can take with us?”

“Well, everything else on the table looks like rubbish.” Jeremy said. He was right. The rest of the objects were just pieces of torn up metal and fractions of equipment. It did seem like most of the Prince’s technology was damaged pretty badly like he said in the morning. “What about the rocket launcher for Gus?”

“Gus can have a field day with the working weapons once we’re finished with them. I don’t think he’ll be very impressed with a broken cylinder. Let’s just go before the cops get here.”

 

 *******

 

The new safehouse was an apartment on the south side of Vinewood Hills, right where the fancy millionaire abodes changed into something more suburban. Gavin opened the door and blinked at them in surprise.

“What happened to your face, Ryan?”

“What? Nothing! Oh. Jeremy happened.”

“Is that face paint? What’s it meant to be?”

Jeremy shouldered his way into the apartment and tossed the car keys to Lindsay. “It’s a skull. Like his mask.”

Michael snorted. “You wore matching face paint while doing Ryan’s mysterious Vagabusiness? How did that go, by the way?”

“It was a bust.” Ryan said. “Geoff, we need to talk about Zancudo.”

“I know, I know.” Geoff said. “Trust me. That’s _all_ we’ve been talking about while you two were away.”

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a dejected look on his face. Something alcoholic swirled around in a glass in his hand. “We’re really gonna have to go back there, aren’t we.”

Jeremy nodded. “It’s not going to be as bad as you think it will, you know. Even with my arm as it is, I can still get us through it.”

“Well you’d better. Or I’ll find some alien technology that brings you back to life and kill you myself.”

“God, if only. My life would be a thousand times simpler.”

“Back to the problem at hand,” Jack said, “We need to figure out how to get in and out of Zancudo without Rooster Teeth’s help.”

“Well it’s much easier this time around.” Jeremy said. “You already know the layout of the Fort, and we have the helmet to do all the technical stuff.”

“Good God,” Michael said, “They’re gonna be so _pissed_ when we break in again!”

“I’m ready.” Gavin said. “I want to get this over and sorted.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “You want to come?”

“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it and I reckon we can do it. Jeremy hasn’t got any of us killed so far. Well, not in this universe. Burnie can suck a fat one.”

“Well hang on,” Jack said, “Burnie’s just looking out for us and he doesn’t understand the situation like we do. He’ll come around.”

“So do you, uh,” Lindsay asked, raising her hand, “Want me to come along too?”

“No way.” Michael said.

“Lindsay,” Jeremy said, “you don’t know the way around Zancudo like we do. We’re going to need you on the beach anyway.”

Lindsay nodded. “Whatever I can do to help.”

“I just want to say,” Geoff said, “That it’s been nine months since we were at Zancudo and I don’t remember the inside.”

“It’ll come back to you once you’re in there.” Jeremy assured him.

“Great. Fantastic. Let’s get this over and done with then.”


	6. Day Late, Dollar Short

_“I’m sorry Vav, I can’t break the laws of physics.” Ray’s voice broke. “Not even for you.”_

_“Us being alive right now breaks the laws of physics!”_

_Ray smiled, something gentle and sad in the expression._

_“It’s still science, Vav. Not magic.”_

_“But… b-but…”_

_Gavin’s face crumpled._

_Ray dropped the duffle and crossed the few steps between them in an instant. Gavin buried his head in Ray’s neck and took deep, shuddering breaths. Ray ran a hand through his hair._

_Gavin whispered in Ray’s ear, quiet enough the rest of the room missed it._

_“I’m never going to see you again am I, you bastard.”_

_“I’m not dying,” Ray whispered back, “but I can’t stay.”_

_“I’m gonna miss you, you prick.”_

_“Back at you. More than anything.”_

_Gavin pressed a kiss to Ray’s lips, fleeting but he lingered up close like he couldn’t bear to break away._

_The moment passed. They separated._

 

 *******

 

The shadow from the blinds left streaking patterns on the kitchen table, reminiscent of prison bars, if one was feeling poetic. One beam of sunlight that made it through reflected off the edge of Geoff’s glass and created a sparkling light show, which Geoff ignored in favour of glaring at the bottom of the glass.

Geoff was not feeling poetic.

He half-heartedly swirled his drink around one more time before pouring it down the kitchen sink. If he was going to do this, he’d need to be sober.

“It took Ryan ages to get access into Zancudo’s mainframe, or whatever,” Geoff said, “I assume the helmet’s going to take care of that issue?”

Jeremy nodded. “Gavin can take down their whole network. Power, phones, communications.”

“Prince James can track the helmet. Does he have a way to warn Zancudo about us if he sees the helmet heading towards there?”

“Technically yes, but I have a plan for that.”

“Of course.”

“Of course. Lindsay will spend tonight with the helmet in the supervisor’s storage box, travelling around and taking it out occasionally. This will get Prince James used to the helmet appearing and disappearing on his radar. He shouldn’t bat an eye if it turns up at Zancudo briefly.”

“Briefly?” Ryan questioned.

“Yeah. If it’s out of the box any longer than forty three minutes and twenty seconds, Prince James contacts the folks at Zancudo.”

Michael folded his arms. “That doesn’t give us much time. Are you telling me you can get us in and out of Zancudo in forty-ish minutes?”

“Nope.” Jeremy replied, popping the p. “We get found before that time period ends. It’s unavoidable.”

Geoff immediately regretted wasting the rest of his drink.

“I’m liking this plan less and less,” Geoff said. “Please tell me it doesn’t involve becoming Zancudo’s prisoners”-

-“Nothing like that at all.” Jeremy assured him. “Just that it won’t matter if Prince James warns Zancudo. We can fight our way out. You only had human guns the first time round, now we have the laser cannon, shield, and the alien helmet.” Jeremy clicked his tongue and winked. “Not to mention these guns right here.”

He flexed.

Gavin threw some popcorn at him. A piece bounced off his head and landed in Jack’s drink.

“So when do we go?” Jack asked, fishing the kernel out of his glass.

“We want to be there at about 3am, after Lindsay sets up everything with the helmet. Sorry Linds, you’ll have to pull an all-nighter for this.”

Lindsay shrugged. “You should have heard some of the things these assholes have asked me to put up with. Losing sleep is no biggie.”

Michael playfully hit her shoulder. “Come on, we haven’t been _that_ bad.”

“I helped you pull Gavin’s motorbike out of a sewer. A _sewer_ , Michael! While the cops were shooting at me!”

“They were shooting at me too!”

“But you didn’t have to shoot back covered in sewer juice.”

“Nope, ha ha.”

Lindsay hit him back, and by the sounds Michael made, a bit less playfully.

“So Lindsay,” Jeremy said, “Just take the box to these locations,” he handed her a list, “open it, and wait a while. If you keep each wait to under thirty minutes, if Prince James sends anyone after you, this should give you enough time to get away before they find you.”

Lindsay smirked at him. “This ain’t my first rodeo with a mysterious alien device, sonny.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s your second.”

“I stand by what I said.”

Michael and Jack laughed, and Geoff shared a smile with Gavin. Good Lord.

They were all going to die.

Lindsay grabbed her keys off the coffee table where Ryan had left them and twirled them around her finger.

“Alright,” Lindsay said, “Where’s the box?”

“At home.” Ryan said. “Where Burnie is waiting to accost us. Or, his people are.”

Gavin hummed. “You’d think he’d figure out we weren’t there by now. It’s been hours.”

“Can we sneak in?” Ryan asked.

“Do we _need_ to?” Jack said. “Can we not just ignore whoever Burnie’s sent to bother us? It’s not like he’s going to try and force us to leave Prince James alone.”

 Michael snorted. “He can try.”

“He’s not going to try.” Jeremy said. “But if his guys see us waltzing out of the apartment building armed to the teeth, they’ll have questions. And we don’t have time to explain this whole fucking situation to them, and by extension, Burnie. Not today, at least.”

Jeremy crossed his arms. “He was right. Burnie. As hard as the last few days have been, no-one else on this stupid island would have understood my situation and helped me as fast as you have. There’s a reason I go to you every reset and not Burnie. You lot have been… invaluable to me.”

“Just admit it, Jeremy,” Gavin said with a smile, “You’ve got a soft spot for us!”

Jeremy leaned against the back of the couch. “Um, duh. I decided to stop trying to kill you, after all. Although it could be Stockholm syndrome.”

“Actually,” Ryan said, “Stockholm syndrome is between captives and their guards. Since we’ve never been your prisoner, it’s not the same.”

“I locked you in the interrogation room for a few hours.” Jeremy replied. “How have you already forgotten about that?”

“Guys, guys,” Geoff cut in, “What do we do about the helmet and all our shit in my apartment?”

“ _My_ name’s on the lease.” Jack muttered.

“We can sneak in.” Jeremy said. “Trevor and a bunch of guys are waiting in the lobby for you. All we need to do is steal some cars they won’t recognise, park in the garage, and head on up the fire stairs.”

Michael grimaced. “That’s like thirty flights of stairs! Does that count as leg day?”

“You can go up all thirty flights if you want,” Geoff said, a hint of humour in his voice, “I’m going to go up past the lobby and then take the elevator.”

“This is why you make the plans, Geoff.” Michael said fondly. “All your brain power is devoted to being lazy.”

“It’s not _laziness,_ ” Geoff argued, “it’s _efficiency_. Big difference.”

 

 *******

 

The elevator dinged and the seven of them squeezed their way out of the cramped space and into the apartment. A light rain fell, and the city cast diamonds of light through the gaps in the blinds. Geoff tripped on a weapon someone left lying on the ground, might’ve been him, on his way to the kitchen. Why did they decide the floor was the best place to organise weaponry? They had a dining room table and hell, a _room_ designed specifically for storing weapons. Might be a good idea to use it once in a while.

Ryan and Michael picked up the supervisor’s box between them and carried it out towards the elevator. Lindsay flicked a goodbye salute at the room and followed them.

“Text one of us every time you change locations!” Jack called after her, which she acknowledged.

When the door shut behind her, the atmosphere in the apartment grew a little more sombre. Jack and Jeremy sorted through the weapons, while Gavin collected body armour. Geoff made a sandwich.

“How many alien enhanced weapons should we take?” Jack asked.

“None.” Jeremy replied. “We don’t have enough ammo to make them worthwhile.”

“But we’ll have enough ammunition once we’re in Zancudo. Why not take some?”

“Because, trust me, you will need to practice with them first. And we’re not going to have time for a tutorial when we’re knee deep in soldiers.”

“We usually skip tutorials anyway.”

“Look, it’s a bad idea to let Zancudo know, if any of the soldiers or scientists stay alive to bear witness, that the pellets are bullets. It’s best to keep their true purpose a secret.”

“Okay, fair enough.”

Gavin lugged a few pieces of heavy body armour onto the burned couch.

“I wish the alien enhanced body armour still worked,” Gavin complained, “It was much lighter.”

“That’s what happens when you keep getting shot, Gavin.” Geoff said from the kitchen. “Funnily enough, the armour wears out.”

“But it’s alien armour! It’s supposed to be damn near impossible to wear out!”

“Well it will when you’re _that_ bad at not getting shot.”

Geoff couldn’t see Gavin’s face from the kitchen but he’d bet money Gavin was screwing his face up.

“Where do we keep the rest of it then? The regular armour?”

“Dunno. Have you checked the spare room?”

“We’ve got multiple spare rooms. A good boyfriend would help me look!”

Geoff chuckled. “A shame you’ve got me then.”

A few minutes later Gavin strode into the kitchen and swiped half of Geoff’s sandwich.

“Hey!”

“ _Jack_ , the _best_ boyfriend, helped me find them.” Gavin said with a cheeky grin. Geoff made a move for the sandwich but Gavin was faster.

“I’m not going to argue that Jack’s the best boyfriend. Where were they?”

“Okay, so, they were in one of the spare rooms”-

-“See? What did I tell you?”

Geoff lunged for Gavin again and this time he was fast enough.

“Geoff! Geoffrey!”

“Gavvy, Gavvy, heh heh,” Geoff said, laughing, “Give that back!”

Gavin squirmed away from Geoff’s tickling fingers but there wasn’t much he could do with only one hand. Geoff plucked the half from Gavin’s shaking fingers, put it on a plate with the other half, and pushed it into Gavin’s hands.

“Eat,” Geoff said. “We’ve got a lot of stuff to prepare for tonight.”

Gavin smiled gratefully, maybe a little bashfully, and started eating.

“What do we have to do?” Gavin asked between mouthfuls. “Weapons: check. Armour: check. Yours and Jeremy’s plan: check. Evil royalty suitably distracted: check.”

“We don’t know the plan yet.” Geoff said. “I know we’ve managed to get by alright with Jeremy giving us a little warning, but I want a bit more info if we’re going into Zancudo.”

“Jeremy knows what works.” Gavin said. “He hasn’t let us down yet.”

“Well no. If he had, we’d be dead. But plans can always be improved. Risks can be avoided, that sort of thing. I want us all to sit down and go over it all, you know? That’s why it’s Jeremy and _my_ plan, not just his. And even though he goes on about how well he knows all of us, which I find a bit creepy by the way, _I_ know you guys,” Geoff emphasised by poking Gavin on the chest, “best.”

Gavin chewed thoughtfully. “I wonder if he’s thought about what he wants to do after.”

“After Zancudo?”

“After we kill Prince James and end his loop. Or universe jumping, whatever. Can’t imagine he’d want to go back to being a lone mercenary.”

Gavin flicked his eyes up to meet Geoff’s.

Geoff shrugged.

“Maybe that’s exactly what he wants. Probably tired of dealing with us idiots by now, glad to get away from the guys who keep screwing up his perfect plan. Maybe he wants to start a rap career.”

“Let’s say he wanted to stay in the hired guns business…”

“Are we doing hypotheticals now?”

Gavin nodded. “Let’s just say he does.”

“Then I think we’d be morons not to hire him for some gun stuff. Of course, he might also decide to take his business back to the mainland.”

“Say he wants to stay, then. Stay in Los Santos.”

“Dude, I don’t know!” Geoff said. “Have you tried, I don’t know, asking him? Oh wait, that would involve actually talking to someone you don’t know very well.”

The apartment door opened and Michael and Ryan walked back in. Ryan looked extremely pleased with himself while Michael looked somewhere between excited and mortified.

“Jesus _Christ_ Ryan.” Michael said, shaking his head. “That’s fucked up, even for you.”

“He had it coming.”

“Oh I know he did. Multiple times over. But”-

-“And I would do it again, Michael. In a heartbeat. Any time you need me to.”

Michael smiled and looked up at Ryan.

“Seriously,” Ryan continued, “Any time. Just send me a text and I’ll be there. Even if it isn’t strictly necessary. Please hit me up.”

“Oh, stop it.”

Michael pressed a quick kiss to his lips and they walked into the kitchen.

“You cooking?” Michael asked Geoff. He saddled up beside Gavin and nicked a fallen piece of tomato off Gavin’s plate.

“I _was_ cooking, but I think it’s time we went over the whole plan with Jeremy.”

“The whole plan?”

“Well, the whole Zancudo plan. God knows Jeremy likes to keep us in suspense with the rest of it. I reckon that’s really how he gets us to go along with all his bullshit- he won’t tell us about it until it’s too late to do anything else.”

“It’s worked out so far.”

“If it worked, why is he still stuck in a loop?”

 

 *******

 

An hour or so later Geoff stared up at his ceiling from the warmth of his bed. Gavin was curled up next to him, Michael right behind him, and Jack sat up on his other side reading something on his new phone. Someone was padding around the penthouse, either Ryan or Jeremy, or maybe both of them, because Geoff could hear the low murmur of conversation. It provided a quiet background noise that was relaxing and made his eyelids heavy.

Geoff couldn’t sleep. His eyes burned but it almost seemed like too much effort to even blink, let alone close them and try to drift off.

He had far too much to think about.

Jack nudged him with his foot.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what? I’m not doing anything.”

“I can almost hear the cogs turning in your brain,” Jack said, “You’re not usually this caught up in the details of a heist.”

“No, I’m not. But this isn’t a regular heist.”

“Is it because it’s Zancudo?”

“Partly.” Geoff rolled over to face Jack. “But also because it’s Jeremy’s and my plan.”

“Remember Jeremy said he’s done this hundreds of times before. It shouldn’t be any different than anything else we’ve done the last few days.”

“It’s not the Jeremy part that’s worrying me.” Geoff explained. “Not really. It’s the ‘me’ part.”

Jack locked his phone and placed it gently on the bedside table.

“Geoff”-

-“I know, I know. My plans are good, they got us out of Zancudo the first time, yadda yadda. But I haven’t done it a hundred million times like Jeremy has. I only did it successfully once, and boy there were a lot of fuck ups on the way.”

Zancudo, In Geoff’s head, was a hundred feet of concrete and steel above his head, and dozens of soldiers between him and the exit. Zancudo was a thousand wrong turns, tripped feet, missed shots, and a million bullets. Zancudo was also warm hands and a shoulder to cry on, and awesome feats in the truest sense of the word, but it was also the place where he knew enough of it would drive him insane.

A small piece of him was down there, would always be down there, fighting his way up but never quite reaching the surface.

And as much as he’d like to tote that he was now an expert in keeping his people alive, he’d had a lot more practice in getting them killed. Jeremy needed everything to go perfectly, and Geoff wasn’t sure he was capable of that. If _anyone_ was, except for Jeremy. And even Jeremy was struggling, had been struggling since Geoff shaved his moustache off and fucked everything up right from the start.

“I would argue more than once.” Jack said. “You made it out, got _us_ out, hundreds of times I think.”

“Only one time we got out and didn’t have to go back.” Geoff clarified. “Although I guess that’s not true either.”

“Geoff, you need to stop letting this eat you up.”

“If only it was that easy. Just stop thinking about it! Why didn’t I think of that?”

It was hard to see Jack in the low light, but Geoff could tell he was frowning at him.

“Sorry, sorry, that was rude.” Geoff said. “I appreciate that you’re trying to talk me out of my mood, but I don’t think words are really helping right now. I’ll be fine once we’re all out of Zancudo.”

“What would you like me to do?”

Geoff scratched behind his ear. “I’m not sure. Stay awake with me a while?”

Jack pulled Geoff into an embrace. Slowly, Geoff felt the tension fall away from him. Never underestimate the powers of a warm, loving body next to you.

“I don’t think we should try to stay awake,” Jack whispered in his ear, “How about I do something that’ll help you fall asleep…”

 

 *******

 

Geoff woke up feeling limber and relaxed, despite the early hour and the churning in his gut. God, the things Jack could do with his hands… there was no one better at giving back massages. Jack was always the most tactile of the five of them, and it was an undeniable fact that he was also the best at hugs.

The sex wasn’t that bad either.

Ryan tapped his shoulder a few times to get his attention. He was only wearing pants, and the dim city lights let Geoff spot the goose bumps running up and down his arms.

“Lindsay’s been sending me her positions. Should I tell her to head to Zancudo now?”

Geoff shook his head.

“Wait until we’re all ready to go. I want us to get to Zancudo at the same time so we don’t waste a second.”

Ryan inclined his head and moved to wake up the others.

“Wait,” Ryan said, “You’re not going to make a ‘positions’ joke?”

“All my brainpower is going to worrying.”

Ryan made his way back to Geoff and hugged him.

“I know telling you to stop worrying would be… a bit hypocritical of me,” Ryan said. He was standing while Geoff was sitting, and it meant Geoff felt quite engulfed by his broader form. He didn’t mind one bit. “But try to focus on the things you can control, okay?”

Geoff nodded into Ryan’s chest. “Okay. Thanks for looking out for me, Ryan.”

“We look out for you as much as you do for us, you know.”

“I know, I know. I appreciate it. A lot.”

They didn’t move, for a while. Long enough for the goose bumps on Ryan’s arms to fade away.

“I’m going to wake up the others.” Ryan said gently. “What are you going to do? Breakfast?”

“I’m going to check we’re not forgetting anything. I need to”-

-“Geoff, Geoff, Geoff”-

-“Okay, okay. I’m going to very calmly and rationally _not_ do that and get dressed.”

“I like that plan much better.”

“I do, on occasion, come up with a few good ones.”

 

 *******

 

It felt like only seconds later they were outside Zancudo. The drive north was a haze of passing lights and looming darkness, with only a few stars brave enough to poke through the cloud cover. Geoff had vague memories of pinpricks of light stuck in raindrops on the car windshield, but apart from that he couldn’t remember a single thing that happened on the drive over.

He heaved out a breath of mist and imagined it was his brain fog clearing out and floating away.

“Sorry, Lindsay, sorry.” Geoff said. “Could you say that last part again?”

“I said Gavin had the helmet set up, and that I was going to see you soon.” Lindsay explained. “Did you get it that time, or did it all just”- she mimed everything falling out of her ear- “again?”

“No I got it, I got it. See you soon.”

“Good luck.”

Lindsay drifted back into the darkness, disappearing completely from view shortly after.

Geoff swallowed.

It was time.

“Everyone ready?” Geoff asked. It was a redundant question. Of course they were. It was only him that was stalling, that was losing sleep over this, that was worried.

No, that wasn’t true at all. Lines of worry were etched all over Jack’s face, and Gavin held Michael’s hand in a death-grip. But the others had enough faith in themselves, in each other, in Jeremy, to do this. He supposed they had faith in him as well, even if he didn’t.

Gavin met his gaze, his free hand raised up next to the helmet, and he waited for Geoff’s go ahead.

“Do it.”

The light pouring from Zancudo cut out. A siren had enough time to let out one shrill note before it too died.

It was time.

The six of them sprinted down the hill, towards the first chain-link fence separating them from Zancudo. Jack cut through the wire with no problems, and they climbed over the ditch and through the second fence and they crouched in the grass as shouting personnel ran past them.

With their entire electrical grid down, any security system on the fences would be useless. Geoff pulled himself through the second hole Jack made, grabbed Jeremy’s hand and helped him through, and then they were in.

It was just the gentle breeze rattling the chain-link fence, and the shouts of men in the distance, no other noise. No search lights, no helicopter or tank patrol, no torchlight sweeping over the grass. It was definitely eerie crouching close to so many enemies and not having the faintest clue where they were.

Someone’s hand slid down his arm and searched for his hand, clasping it tight when he found it. Michael’s, it must be. It was too dark to make out his face, or anything apart from the outline of buildings against the sky, but it felt like Michael. The hand tugged him forwards.

They all connected like a daisy chain and followed Jeremy as he guided them across the green. Their pace was quick, almost a jog, except for once when Jeremy stopped and they waited for a group of soldiers to run past. Maybe they all had a map of Zancudo burned into their brains, but only Jeremy knew how the soldiers organised and moved. And the pitch blackness of Zancudo’s deep underground would be another story altogether. Geoff thought he’d know the way out once he saw it, but the reverse way in the dark was completely different.

“There’s a step.” Jeremy breathed over the comms. Jeremy first, then Gavin, Michael, and Geoff stepped out of the wind and into the quiet and calm of a building. Jack and Ryan followed them, covering the rear.

Distant footsteps grew closer and louder and then passed them by.

“The back-up generators too?!” Someone yelled.

“Fucking, fucking, fucking…”

The voices drifted away. Jeremy led them towards where the voices had gone.

“Stairs.” Jeremy whispered.

Jeremy gave muted instructions every so often, and the five of them followed them. Occasionally he’d stop and direct them to stand flush against a wall and feet would pound past them, one time close enough for Geoff to feel the soldier’s breath on his face.

His guns were safely stored in a bag on his back and out of arm’s reach. He had a knife, but not much else. If the soldiers knew they were inches away, there wouldn’t be enough time to get them ready and fight back.

He gripped Michael’s hand a little tighter.

Even lower down, the last dregs of light were completely gone. In the oppressive darkness Geoff couldn’t even tell if his eyes were open or not. The deeper they went, the colder it got too.

“Stop.” Jeremy whispered.

They stopped.

In the stillness, the sound of Jeremy counting under his breath became audible.

The lights turned on.

Geoff blinked and tried to shake the stars out of his eyes. Gavin’s helmet was good, but it couldn’t stop engineers or technicians physically turning the power generators back on. Every now and again, the lights and systems of Zancudo would turn on until Gavin turned them off again.

There was a pair of bookshelves standing next to a door. On the other side, a little pot plant sat with an overturned watering can beside it. Geoff didn’t recognise the hallway.

The fluorescent light above them flickered and hummed.

Jeremy counted down from five on his fingers. Gavin turned the lights back off.

They carried on.

Deeper, deeper. Half a dozen staircases, twists and turns that were impossible to remember, corners and bumps and the hands holding his. The number of soldiers grew and grew until they were spending minutes frozen in place against a wall as dozens of soldiers and personnel moved around the facility and around them.

The floor changed from laminate to either stone or concrete, Geoff couldn’t tell. He suppressed a shiver. The soldiers were thinning out as well, this far down most of the common rabble wouldn’t have permission to be here. Occasionally a panicked scientist would stumble down a corridor, calling out for their colleagues- too much fear in their voices to be soldiers.

The lights turned on. Cables ran the length of the space, a long tunnel it turned out, and disappeared around the gentle curve…

…Geoff looked up.

The pipe hung above him.

Darkness again. Geoff blinked the burnt image of the pipe away from his eyes.

Jeremy led them faster down the tunnel, fast enough for Geoff to have to put some effort into not tripping over Michael just inches ahead of him. The ground changed a few times, forcing him to stumble as it went from cold and unforgiving to soft and squishy for a few steps. Insulation, Geoff guessed.

More twists and turns, and the lights came back on and stayed on.

They stood in front of a door. It was wide, wider than a car, and appeared to be made of very thick steel. It was set into bedrock with machine made scuff marks. Heavy columns of stone supported the wall and ceiling in regular intervals.

“This is it.” Jeremy said. “Now would be a good time to get your guns out. We’ve got a little bit of time before somebody stumbles across us.”

“Do they know we’re here yet?” Michael asked, hefting a special carbine assault rifle.

“They will in a few minutes.”

Ryan and Jack assembled their own weapons, screwing pieces together with satisfying clicks from their backpacks.  Disassembled weapons made less noise. Gavin pulled two smoke grenades out of his pocket.

Geoff nervously drew his Glock and made sure the magazine was loaded correctly.

“Gavin,” Jeremy said, “the door, if you wouldn’t mind.”

After a pause, the door sunk into the ground in a smooth sliding motion. Behind it was a short tunnel hewn from the bedrock and beyond that, sparkling water.

This was the body of water that he and Jack had drained all those months ago, those hundreds and thousands of times.

“Hey!” a voice shouted from near the body of water. A head popped up. “Can you tell us what the fucking heck is”-

Geoff shot him.

He hit the rock with a wet thwack and someone else out of sight cursed. Jeremy shot forwards down the tunnel, assault rifle blasting, and they hastened to follow him.

“Why, Geoff?!” Ryan shouted at him. “We could have used our advantage a bit better, don’t you think?!”

“I panicked!”

“It’s fine!” Jeremy said over both of them. “Just keep shooting!”

They burst through the end of the tunnel guns blazing and managed to duck behind some barrels while the soldiers took cover. The soldiers were concentrated to the right of the tunnel where the bedrock formed a flat beach next to the water, if Jeremy was correct. And so far he had been, as no shots came from them where they crouched to the left of the tunnel.

Soon the shots stopped coming altogether- there had only been half a dozen or so soldiers down here. Jeremy poked his head over the barrels and gave the all clear.

“We’re good. We need to get that platform up ASAP.”

“Oh,” Michael said, “These aren’t barrels. These are the pellet storage containers!”

Upon closer inspection, the barrels did indeed turn out to be the pellet storage containers stacked in neat little groups of six along the edge of the water.

“Jack,” Gavin said, pointing towards a control panel on the wall, “Pull that lever for me, would you? I’ve done the rest.”

Jack nodded and, with no small effort, pulled it down and it clicked into place.

The water rumbled. From the murky depths, a platform slowly rose out of the water. The platform was covered in rows and rows of shelves, each holding a number of strange and unearthly objects behind thick glass doors. Some of them glowed with cyan lights, others red. A select few glowed with both.

The platform gently stopped a foot or so above the water’s surface. Water dripped off the sides in neat little streams. The glass doors slid open, exposing the objects to the cool air of the cave.

Michael let out a low whistle.

“They’ve really upgraded their security since we were last here. Fucking underwater levels.”

“Clearly not.” Ryan replied. “We’re here again, stealing the same shit. Honestly? I expected better.”

“Look up!” Gavin said.

Geoff craned his head backwards. Suspended above the platform by thick cables hung the spaceship.

The spaceship was barely operational when Gavin had flown it out of Zancudo, and that battle hadn’t done it any favours. Dozens of scorch marks adorned the body, and the top dome was half gone. Geoff hadn’t noticed the giant hanging disk earlier because none of its usual lights were working.

“Nawww,” Gavin said fondly, “I can’t believe they dragged her all the way back here!”

“I can.” Jeremy said. “Look, we’re gonna have more soldiers here soon. Get ready.”

Geoff and Gavin hurry to the water’s edge and to the platform while Jeremy and Jack set up on either side of the tunnel entrance, guns pointed down towards the door.

Michael smirked and took up a position next to the tunnel entrance. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s killing soldiers in Zancudo.”

Ryan snorted.

“I don’t know, that thing you do with your tongue…”

“Two things then.”

Geoff and Gavin scanned the shelves, looking for something in particular.

“So what are we looking for again?” Geoff called out.

“Cubes!” Jeremy shouted back. “They look like regular fucking cubes!”

“I’m used to irregular fucking cubes.” Gavin muttered, only audible through the comms.

Ryan let out a carefree laugh, far too light for the seriousness the situation demanded. “No such thing as an irregular cube, Gavin.”

Gavin and Geoff continue their search. The shelves were packed with weird objects, some of them only really existing when looked at from the right angle. Geoff spotted some crumpled pipes that may have been weaponry once, but certainly wasn’t any more. On one shelf was a mysterious blue orb that occasionally shot out tiny bits of lightning, right next to what appeared to be an ordinary hat.

The only sounds were Geoff’s measured breaths and the gushing of a waterfall, out of sight, feeding into the underground lake.

A single shot rang out.

Geoff startled and fell backwards into a shelf. It tipped over, hitting the one next to it and sending the both of them to the ground.

“Fuck!” Geoff said.

“Headshot!” Michael said. “About time.”

“They’re here,” Jeremy said. “Hurry up and throw the damn cubes at the storage containers!”

“Fuck, shit,” Geoff cursed, finally spotting the cubes on the ground. He scooped them up into his bag, along with a few shards of glass. “Fucking hell, shit on my dick.”

More shots.

“These guys do _not_ look happy.” Jack said.

Geoff picked up a cube from where it had fallen inside what looked to be a boot. “So do I just throw it?”

“Yes!” Jeremy shouted.

Geoff threw the cube.

His aim was true, and it landed directly in the middle of a group of storage containers. There was a bright cyan flash and the containers disappeared, along with the cube.

“These future cubes are _sweet_.”

A few more cyan flashes, and no more pellet storage containers remained on the shore. Geoff shoved a few more cube-shaped objects into his pockets and then motioned for Gavin to follow him.

“That’s all of the containers.” Geoff said. “Go, go, go!”

They crossed back to shore and the six of them ran up and out the length of the tunnel. Jeremy shot soldiers seemingly before they stuck their heads out to shoot them back.

They jogged past the soldier’s bodies and down the hallway, keeping the bedrock wall to their side. They passed a tall steel door with a complicated looking terminal next to it and Geoff felt a sudden calm overcome him. He knew the way from here. He felt so light suddenly it was an effort not to laugh.

They’d done this a thousand times before. What else could Zancudo throw at them that they wouldn’t be ready for?

Up one set of stairs, then the next, and then one more and there was another group of soldiers waiting for them. Geoff fired three shots, still running, and a soldier spun around and splattered his brains down the wall as he fell.

Jack grinned at him, somehow able to hold his attention for a brief moment in the middle of a firefight, and threw a grenade. They all but leapt over the slick, dived through the smoke and carried on.

If they moved fast enough, they’d miss most of the soldiers rushing down to the lower levels to look for them.

A siren started up, and Geoff almost flinched. That was a _very_ familiar siren. The power had stayed on long enough now for Zancudo to send the warning out. If Jeremy was right (and he hadn’t been wrong yet), then it would work to their advantage.

“We high enough?” Michael asked Jeremy, panting. They’d climbed a good number of stairs, taking a slightly different route to the one they were familiar with. Not that that was a problem, because Jeremy had spoken true- Geoff remembered these halls like the back of his hand. Of course, it was much easier to remember with the lights on and heading in the right direction. If they continued with the path they were taking, they would bypass the armoury and reach the surface through a small garage.

“Not quite.” Jeremy replied. “One more set of stairs… okay, yeah.  Now’s fine.”

They stopped on a landing and Michael put down his bag. Reaching in, he revealed the laser cannon lighting up the bag with its cyan glow.

“Maybe not on the stairs, Michael.” Gavin said. “You wouldn’t want to take us out too.”

“I’ll take you out,” Michael mumbled, setting the cannon on his arm, “to dinner! Psyche!”

“This room’s clear,” Ryan said. “Come on, come on.”

He ushered them into the room connecting to the stairs. It was a nice little sitting room, separate from the scientific military feel of the rest of the facility. Two plush couches sat in the centre of the room, and Geoff experienced no small pleasure when he wiped his gore-covered pants on the fabric. Fuck that couch in particular.

“Aim… here.” Jeremy said, pointing at a specific spot on the floor.

Michael fired.

The laser tore through the floor and disappeared into the ground with a gentle crackling sound. Michael manoeuvred the beam around, creating a wide cone of destruction directly below them.

The floor rumbled. Michael cut the beam off and braced himself against a wall. It sounded like a landslide, burying everything under thousands of pounds of rock and concrete.

If there were any screams, they were buried beneath the cacophony. It was Loud, with a capital L, and Geoff pressed his hands over his ears to block some of it out.

Seemingly miraculously, the floor held. Michael shared a wild look with Gavin. The lights flickered on and off before settling down to a glow half the intensity of before.

Ryan grabbed Michael’s arm.

“For the love of God,” Ryan pleaded, “give me the laser.”

Michael smirked and shook his head. “No way in hell. You picked the stupid shield gauntlet.”

“Name whatever favour you want”-

One of the walls collapsed into the floor, taking some of the tiles with it. The remains of the stairs became visible through the hole. A tangle of wires and lights dangled from the ceiling.

“Time to go, time to go,” Jack ushered them through a door on the other side of the room and began to jog. The ground would shake, sometimes for minutes at a time, and they would stumble and use the walls for support but they never stopped moving.

“Remember,” Jeremy said, “Only fire down or you’ll bring the ceiling down on us.”

With the show they’d put on next to the lake, most of the soldiers would be trawling the lower levels looking for them. Now they were trapped or dead, and Michael could focus on blocking the ways up while the rest of them dealt with the straggling soldiers.

No more stairs. A group of scientists and a few generals with glinting medals almost walked into them, and were quickly cut down. Michael scoured the path behind them with beam after beam of pure energy, dicing everything behind and below them.

There was no way in hell the military was going to let them walk away with alien technology a second time. Zancudo had to go.

One last door automatically opened in front of them, thanks to Gavin’s helmet. The musty air of the garage met them and they ran through, Ryan killing two mechanics as they went. One collapsed against a motorbike and sent a whole row of them crashing to the ground like dominos. Gavin opened the garage door and a rush of cool air greeted them, as well as the sight of dozens of stars.

“Hold on a sec,” Geoff said, stopping.

“ _Geoff_.” Jack said.

“Wait, wait.” Geoff paused in front of the row of bikes, something about them piquing his interest. He pulled a cube out of his pocket and threw it at the bikes. They disappeared with a cyan flash.

“Those bikes have wings, Jack. _Wings_.”

“ _Geoff I swear to God”_ -

“Okay, let’s go. Hurry up, get a move on!” Geoff resumed his run, overtaking Jack and darting out of the garage. The comms picked up Jack’s angry sigh as he picked up his pace and followed him, and the snickering of Gavin and Michael.

“Geoff, wait!” Jeremy shouted. “Slow down!”

“You don’t need to yell,” Geoff replied, almost laughing, “I can hear you perfectly through the comms.”

They passed a couple of soldiers arguing loudly next to a helicopter they were trying to get started. Once they were a safe distance away, Geoff threw a grenade almost carelessly over his shoulder. It dinged off the metal framework and exploded, sending pieces of helicopter raining down.

“Oops.” Geoff said. “Does anyone have any more grenades?”

“Here, boss.” Michael passed him one. Geoff tossed it at an armoured vehicle rolling past, and the blast took out the front wheel and sent the vehicle skidding around in a circle.

Geoff changed his mind. Coming back to Zancudo was a _fantastic_ idea. Therapeutic, in a way.

“Fucking hell,” Jeremy swore, “They’re gonna figure out where we are. Can we please just get out of here?”

They ran at a dead sprint towards a hangar at the southern edge of the facility. Abandoned by its owners when Gavin cut all the power, a tank sat against the wall of the hangar. Ryan ripped the top hatch open and jumped in, everyone soon following him.

The tank was cramped with six people occupying a space meant for two at most. Michael stayed with his top half hanging out of the hatch, laser cannon at the ready, and Geoff got a good whiff of foot and blood which made him screw up his face. Ryan squeezed into the command chair and manned the controls, flicking switches and checking dials. He had the most experience in this model of tank, after all. The tank rolled forwards.

“Swing me round to face the buildings,” Michael instructed. Ryan did as he was told, and then the interior lit up like a cyan Christmas tree as Michael rained down hell on Zancudo. A viewport on the side of the tank showed Geoff the extent of the damage. A few hangars were burning and a building had collapsed into its neighbour. The ground rumbled non-stop as wave after wave of man-made monuments returned to the earth.

“Hell…” Gavin cursed under his breath, awed by the sight.

Michael bisected a control tower. The top half slowly slid over and hit the ground with an ear splitting screech of tearing metal. Clouds of dust, barely visible against the night sky, ascended and blotted out the stars.

“We’ve got helicopters!” Geoff shouted. No jets. Michael had taken care of those. There were no hangars left to launch them.

“I’ve got ‘em!” Ryan shouted.

The tank firing rattled the whole interior and sent Geoff stumbling into Jack. Jack kept a steadying hand on Geoff as he watched the helicopters fall, one after the other, out the viewport.

The ground shook so much Geoff banged his head on the edge of the viewport. What followed could only be described as the sound of a mountain hitting the earth as Zancudo collapsed in on itself. The surviving buildings caved in and were swallowed by the burning pit where the underground facilities once sat buried. Michael must have torn through enough supports to send the whole thing down. A huge plume of ash and embers shot towards the sky in the biggest bonfire Geoff had ever seen.

“Dude,” Geoff breathed, “That’s cool as”-

Bullets tore into the armoured panelling of the tank. Geoff reared back from the viewport.

“Armoured vehicles!” Michael called out. “They’re too fast for me to hit!”

“Gavin,” Jack said, “Can you shut them down?”

“Not with a bloody earthquake going on!” Gavin shouted back, his eyes screwed shut.

“Not to worry,” Jeremy said, “not to worry. Vagabond, how close are we to the evac point?”

“Thirty seconds away!”

“Good. Michael, give me the laser cannon.”

Michael jumped down inside the tank and passed it over. Jeremy fit it over his own arm and wearily stuck his head out into the night. As he did so, the tank trundled to a stop. The vibrations lessened somewhat.

“Here!” Ryan said.

“Awesome,” Jeremy said. “You all remember where to go from here?”

They said they did. Jeremy climbed out of the tank and shut the hatch.

“Jeremy!” Geoff shouted over the comms. “Don’t do anything too stupid!”

“Please, Geoff,” Jeremy replied, scoffing a little, “I know exactly what I’m doing.”

The cyan glow from the laser returned, circled the tank once, which then promptly fell through the weakened ground until it hit something much harder. Stones and dirt rained down against the armoured plates of the tank.

“Shit, fucking, shit.” Geoff grunted. Jack had broken his fall. He groaned and sat up, trying to orient himself against the dangerously sloping floor of the tank. Where the hell had they landed?

“Everyone okay?” Geoff called out. He received four replies with varying degrees of annoyance. Geoff pushed the hatch open with quite a bit effort, and dirt rained down on top of him. Blinking the particles away, he saw the bright burn of car headlights ahead of him, the drivers honking their horns agitatedly.

The drivers of Los Santos were an impatient lot. The tank had landed inside the road tunnel that passed beneath the western end of Zancudo, and the built-up traffic was none too pleased with that fact.

“Jeremy? Jeremy!” Geoff called out. Scanning the rock and dirt, he saw the buried remains of various armoured vehicles, not armoured enough to survive the drop. Jeremy had been standing on top of the tank when it fell.

He spotted an arm hanging over the tank barrel, the rest of the body covered in stone and earth. The arm had a bandage on the upper arm, where blood was leaking through from two spots inside the fabric.

“Jeremy’s out here, but he’s buried.” Geoff relayed to the group.

“Alive?” Jack called back.

“I hope so.”

It took Ryan and Jack helping him but soon enough Geoff was able to pull Jeremy from the rubble. He was covered in dust, dirt, and a fair amount of blood, but alive, and not unconscious. Geoff almost cried with relief when his eyes fluttered open and he gazed blearily around.

“Almost there…” Jeremy murmured. “almost there…”

Ryan and Michael carried him to the southern exit, avoiding the uncaring traffic building up in front of the rubble and extending down the connecting bridge. They cut through a grassy embankment and down a hill to the swamps, careful to keep to the deepest shadows as the occasional helicopter patrolled past. Directly under the bridge sat a small, black speedboat. Ryan and Michael gently lowered Jeremy into the boat while Geoff used the pull-cord to turn the engine on. It was as quiet as the waves that lapped the side of the boat.

Geoff steered them out from under the bridge and towards the open ocean.

They cut through dark water and choppy waves while Zancudo, or what was left of it, glowed a faint orange. Occasionally another plume of sparks and embers shot towards the sky. One sudden burst hit a helicopter and it caught fire and plumeted.

“How’s he doing?” Michael asked Jack.

“Nothing feels broken,” Jack said, “But it’s really hard to fucking see. I think he has a head wound from the fall.”

“We should call Kerry when we get to the boat.”

“It’s a super yacht, actually,” Geoff said. “But yes.”

They rounded a headland and Geoff’s yacht became visible in the distance, the glow of the lights lighting up the ocean brighter than the night sky.

“Anything following us?” Ryan asked.

“Not that I can detect.” Gavin replied. “The folks still kicking in Zancudo are trying to control the fire. They’re trying to contact emergency services in the city but something’s blocking their signals.”

Michael high-fived him. “Something tells me they’re not gonna get through.”

The trip to the yacht was quiet. Geoff pulled up against the stern where Lindsay was waiting for them.

“Is he alright?” she asked as Michael and Ryan helped Jeremy out of the speedboat.

“M’ good, m’ good,” Jeremy mumbled, and staggered. Under the yacht’s lights Jeremy’s head wound became apparent- there was a long trail of blood leading from the side of his head down his shirt. “We need to get to Gus…” They sat him down at the yacht’s kitchen table.

“No,” Jack said, “You need to shut up and try not to die on me. How’s everyone else doing, injury-wise?”

“Just a hell of a lot of bruises,” Ryan said. “Happy to not be full of holes, but I miss the alien enhanced body armour.”

“I’ll check your ribs after I’ve dealt with Jeremy.”

“Appreciated.”

Jack pulled a med kit from somewhere and began to clean Jeremy’s head wound. “Please stop getting hit on the head. You’ll be more blood than hair and we’ll have to shave it all off.”

Jeremy muttered something indistinct and shut his eyes, wincing.

Gavin tapped Geoff’s shoulder and raised one of his hands to eye level. “Hand got burnt. Do we have anything for it here?”

Geoff looked the injury over while Lindsay tut-tutted at a graze Michael had running down the length of his arm.

“Run it under room temperature water, Gavin,” Geoff said, “no ice. I think we have burn cream somewhere around here.”

Gavin nodded, and removed the helmet with his good hand and placed it on the table.

Geoff searched through a few cupboards in the bathroom before finding a tube behind the vanity mirror. He caught his reflection in the mirror, and saw a trail of dried blood running down the side of his face. In all the excitement, he’d forgotten he’d banged his head inside the tank. It had already stopped bleeding and wasn’t bothering him, so he ignored it and headed back to Gavin.

Despite the calm atmosphere that had fallen over the yacht, Geoff’s heart was still racing and he struggled to apply the cream to the burn.

Something was nagging at him.

“Why do I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop?” he wondered out loud.

Jeremy retched into a bucket. Jack rubbed his shoulder.

“You were the same after we took down the Corpirate.” Jack said. “You just don’t know when the fight’s over.”

“No, it’s not that.” Geoff replied. “I feel like we’re forgetting something.”

“Alien bullets, check. Zancudo destroyed, check.” Michael ticked them off on his fingers. “Everyone out alive, check. I’m not seeing it.”

There was a pause. The yacht rocked gently.

“Oh fuck me,” Ryan said, “The helmet!”

“Shit on my dick,” Geoff said, “Prince James knows where we are!”

Gavin rammed the helmet back on his head, his eyes darting around the display.

“Oh _fantastic_. The Los Santos Police are coming for us!”

“How far away?” Ryan asked. He had already picked up his assault rifle and was checking the magazine. “Shit, no ammo.”

“I don’t know! I’m listening to the radio!”

Lindsay finished dressing Michael’s graze and got to her feet. “Didn’t Jeremy say the whole tracking thing wasn’t going to be a problem?”

“Unfortunately,” Jack explained, “not a problem doesn’t mean non-existent. Fuck, I’m out of bullets too.”

“Shit, shit,” Gavin said, and put the helmet inside the supervisor’s box. “I can’t believe he called the _damn_ police on us!”

“Here, Jack,” Michael said, “take my rifle. I don’t need it.” He hefted the laser cannon, relieved from Jeremy’s arm.

“There’s some spare ammunition under the bar.” Lindsay said. “Are we defending the yacht? Jeremy?”

“Hey, Jeremy.” Geoff said. Jeremy sat slumped on the chair, his eyes shut. He didn’t appear to be conscious. “Jeremy, Jeremy! Come on, kid. What do we do now?”

Jeremy stirred, but didn’t open his eyes.

“Shit, he needs more help than we can give.” Geoff said. “This is fine. We’ve had worse with less.”

“I see helicopters!” Ryan called out from the bow of the yacht. “Half a dozen of them!”

“What do we do, Geoff?” Lindsay said.

Geoff made a snap decision.

“Michael, Vagabond, hold them back while we get Jeremy to the speedboat. We can’t defend the yacht without him. Do you see any boats out there?”

Ryan shook his head. “If any are coming, they’ll be lagging behind the choppers.”

“There are jet skis against the stern. Follow us when it’s safe.”

They nodded. Ryan handed his empty rifle to Lindsay, who changed the magazine with one of the spare ones, and pulled the shield gauntlet out of his bag.

“Come on, Gav,” Lindsay said, “Help me get the box in the speedboat.”

Before Michael and Ryan ran to the bow of the yacht, Geoff grabbed Ryan’s arm and stopped him.

“You’ll follow us, right?”

“Anywhere, Geoff.” Ryan lifted the bottom of his mask up and kissed Geoff, quickly and forcefully, before bringing the mask back down and heading to the front of the yacht.

Michael pulled Geoff down by the lapels of his jacket and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I’ll bring him back, Geoff.”

“Stay safe, both of you.”

“I’ll do my best. Go on, get out of here!”

Geoff ran down the length of the yacht, leaving Ryan and Michael behind. Lindsay and Jack were already in the speedboat, looking after Jeremy. Gavin stood with one foot in, one foot on the yacht, pointing towards the front.

“No!”

Geoff spun around, just in time to catch the twin rockets spiral towards the bow of the yacht. Geoff didn’t have time to shout-

There was a flash of cyan, and the bow of the boat exploded.

And then the explosion parted. Like the red sea it parted and swept over each side of the yacht, scorching the hull with great wings of fire. The air crackled as a wave of force passed through Geoff. At the heart of it all stood Ryan, shield extended, with Michael crouched behind him.

A second later Ryan was crouching and Michael shot over his head, a beam of energy slicing through the helicopter and it split and hit the waves. Ryan raised his shield once again, protecting Michael from the debris.

They told him they could handle it and they did. Simple as that.

Geoff got in the speedboat and steered it away from the approaching helicopters. It was quiet, but the sky was beginning to lighten with pre-dawn sun and the helicopters had searchlights. If they were lucky, they could take out a helicopter before it saw them and ease the burden on Michael and Ryan.

“How many bullets do you have, Jack?” Geoff called over the wind.

“…Twelve.”

“Alright, see if you can hit that”-

Bullets thundered into the water around them. A few hit the hull and jagged holes ripped into the side of the boat. “Fuck, never mind, the boats are here!”

“I see ‘em.” Jack fired back, emptying his clip, and the boat exploded.

“We’re taking on water!” Lindsay said. More bullets hit the side of the boat and one hit the windscreen, cracking it. Lindsay returned fire but the speedboat was moving too much to aim properly. More bullets hit the windshield, smashing it and whipping glass shards through the air.

They had very few bullets to fire back with.

Cold water lapped at Geoff’s feet. They were still a hundred feet or so away from shore. The water would still be deep here, and with all their gear, they would drown.

“Gavin, take the wheel!”

“What?!”

Geoff stood up, stumbled a bit, and pulled a cube out of a pocket. Taking aim, he lobbed it at the police boat bothering them and it disappeared with a cyan flash.

“There we go,” Geoff said, “problem solved.”

An explosion lit the occupants up with an orange light. A shockwave rattled the speedboat a second later, sending it careening into a rock. Jack stared at a point behind Geoff, eyes wide open in horror. Geoff turned around.

The yacht was aflame and sinking. The front half had fallen off and already disappeared beneath the waves, with the second half soon to follow. A lone helicopter circled around the wreckage, firing a few more rockets into the debris.

“My boat!” Geoff screamed. “You _cunts!_ ”

“Michael?” Jack said through the comms. “Vagabond? Are you two okay? Ryan!”

No reply.

Water rushed around Geoff’s calves and he almost lost his footing.

“Shit.” Geoff said. “Shit shit _shit_. Gavin, I thought I told you to steer?”

“I don’t know how to steer!”

“Just don’t hit the rocks! It’s not rocket science!”

“It’s fine,” Jack said, “Gavin took us almost to shore, and the water’s only waist deep here. We can walk on the rocks the rest of the way.”

Geoff and Jack, soaking wet, hauled the supervisor’s box over the rocks and to the shore. They collapsed on the sand, shivering.

In his ear, some gasped for air so loudly Geoff winced.

“Sorry, can’t reply underwater.” Ryan said over the comms. His voice sounded strained and he coughed a few times. Geoff heaved a sigh of relief. “We’re fine, we’re fine, although our jet ski just lost power and we’re kinda stranded. Can you come pick us up before the police boats do?”

“Our boat carked it.” Gavin said. “Do you know where you are? The ocean’s a big place.”

“Um… west, I think? West of Geoff’s boat. It’s not really a swimmable distance, not with the alien tech weighing us down.”

Geoff had an idea.

“Lindsay, how many bullets do you have left?”

Lindsay checked the rifle. “Four.”

“Cool. I need you to shoot some cops for me.”

Geoff stood up and threw a cube into the shallows. A police boat, along with a swimming pools worth of water, came out of a cyan flash and floated gently in the light swell. The two police officers in the boat looked decidedly green and disoriented.

Lindsay fired three shots, missing the first one but not the other two. The bodies slid into the water.

“Right,” Geoff said, “Get in. We’re gonna pick up the Vagabond and Michael before they drown.”

Following Ryan’s directions, they found the pair of them clutching the side of an overturned jet ski. Ryan was holding on to both the jet ski and Michael, who was having trouble finding a good grip on the hull. His arms were shaking with the strain.

Geoff and Jack hauled up Michael first, and then Ryan. Soon after, the jet ski sunk beneath the waves. Michael and Ryan took off their wet alien tech and started removing their soaked armour and shirts.

“Thank God.” Ryan said. “Where did you get a- you know, I don’t want to know. Thanks for picking us up.”

“Anytime, Vagabud.” Geoff replied, turning the police boat around and heading back towards the coast. There were still a few police boats and that last helicopter circling the area and he wanted to put some distance between them as soon as possible. “Thanks for letting my multi-million dollar yacht sink into the ocean like the goddamn Titanic.”

“Anytime, Ramsey.” Ryan returned dryly. “Me and Michael up the front there, it was like that scene with Rose and Jack.”

“Except with more fire.” Gavin said, and Jack laughed.

“Where to now?” Lindsay asked.

“We go where Jeremy told us.” Geoff said, casting a glance his way. Jeremy was still out for the count. “We’ll go to Gus’s.”

 

 *******

 

“For the record,” Gus said testily, “I don’t like him and I don’t want him here. _Somehow_ , you seem to think it’s okay to bring half-dead enemies to my doorstep and expect me to be civil.”

“We don’t expect you to be civil.” Ryan said. Jack leaned over him to check his ribs and was digging around a med kit looking for bandages. Despite this, the red and blue bruises around his middle, and the face paint leaving streaks down his face, he still looked pretty intimidating. “We just expect you to keep quiet about it.”

“Sure, sure,” Gus said, waving his hand dismissively, “Your universe-jumping, enemy-to-lover, mysterious stranger is safe with me.” His eyes narrowed. “Unless you led Prince James here.”

Jack pointed at the supervisor’s box. “The tech Prince James can track is in this box. He can’t find it unless you open it.”

“Perfect,” Gus said, dripping with sarcasm, “Thank you for literally leaving a Pandora’s Box in my hallway. For the love of _God_ none of you touch anything and let me get on with my work.” He placed an empty mug on top of the supervisor’s box and stalked out of the room.

“Great.” Geoff said. “I’m going to check on Jeremy.”

In the hallway, between piles of paper and overflowing filing cabinets, sat Jeremy on the couch. Kerry was leaning over him, checking his pulse and blood pressure, and he put the equipment down when Geoff approached.

“He’ll be fine.” Kerry said. “He lost quite a bit of blood, but I’ve put most of it back in. He’ll feel like shit for a few days, but if he complains just give him these.” Kerry handed Geoff a six pack of Red Bulls.

“…And he’s going to be okay? When he gonna wake up?”

“Yeah, he’s just exhausted. Doesn’t look like he’s been eating or sleeping much recently, blood sugar’s really low. You would pass out too if you didn’t eat or sleep for three days and then sustained serious head trauma. Repeatedly, it looks like.”

“I thought you said he’ll be fine!”

“Yeah, he’ll live. Considering the state of the patients that usually drag themselves across my floor, his condition is minor. He’s sleeping it off. Don’t worry.” Kerry gave Geoff a friendly yet clinical pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks for coming out here on such short notice.” Geoff continued.

“I’m sure you’ll sing a different tune when my bill arrives,” Kerry joked, “and while I’m here, do you want check that cut on your face out? Looks like you’ve re-opened it.”

“Nah, it’s a fresh one, don’t worry.”

Kerry said goodbye and drove away. Gavin appeared from around a corner.

“Are you _sure_ that man is a trained medical professional?”

“He’s certainly the middle of those three words. I wouldn’t think about it too much.” Geoff replied. “Despite what evidence would tell you, Kerry does a good job.”

“So we just need to let him sleep.”

“Yep.”

Gavin cleared a pile of papers off the couch and sat down next to Jeremy.

“I’ll keep an eye on him for a while.” He pulled out his phone. “Give the poor lad some company.”

“Well, we’re currently down a Lad. Might be good to have a replacement.”

Gavin wiggled his eyebrows.

A car pulled up out front, visible through a little window on the front door. Geoff’s hand went to his Glock until he saw it was Lindsay, returned with the car they stole to get here. It was a decrepit little hatchback, bright green and, shockingly, with a spoiler. She walked up to the front door and knocked.

“Yo, delivery for the Fakes!” She had one of the alien sniper rifles in hand.

Geoff let her in and she struck up a conversation with Gavin. Geoff headed to the green abomination and looked at the haul of weapons Lindsay brought with her. It didn’t look like Burnie’s people gave her any trouble, because she’d brought all the weapons they’d pilfered from Prince James.

Geoff and Jack carried the alien weaponry to the backyard and laid it down on the porch. The Fakes, minus Gavin and plus Lindsay, stood in a circle around the pile.

“Jeremy…” Jack said, “probably wouldn’t want us to test these out without him here in case something went wrong.”

Michael and Ryan nodded.

“They’re not safe.”

“It wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“I agree.” Geoff said, pulling a cube from his pocket. “It’s a terrible idea.” He threw the cube to an empty patch of grass. It released a cyan burst of light which faded to reveal half a dozen pellet storage containers, no worse for wear after their journey from Zancudo.

“You know what,” Lindsay said, “I’m going to trade places with Gavin. You kids have fun!”

Ryan pulled a few pellets out of a storage container, careful to only touch them with his gloves. He loaded them into the magazine of the alien assault rifle.

“I hope these stay cool in the magazine,” he said. “I wouldn’t want the gun to explode when I’m trying to use it.”

Geoff shrugged. “I’m sure the gun designers knew what they were doing.” He’d found a handgun in the pile he liked the look of. Reminded him of a Colt with its long barrel.

“We need something organic to target.” Michael said. “The bullets only work on living things.”

“One step ahead of you, my boi.” Gavin called out from inside the house. He stepped out with a hammer, nails, and a ham sandwich. “I’m going to nail this sandwich to that tree over there.”

“…Okay.” Ryan said.

“So we can aim at the sandwich and not hurt any of Gus’s beautiful trees.” Gavin explained. “Sandwiches count as living, right?”

“We’ll find out.”

Gavin, with some assistance from Michael, successfully nailed the sandwich to the tree five feet off the ground. Everyone stood to one side as Ryan figured out how to work the gun, aimed, and fired.

If the crack of a regular firearm was like thunder, this was lightning. The air sparkled with blue energy and the bolt shot out as fast as the eye could see, faster even, with a faint trail following its trajectory.

The sandwich burned away, as well as a sizeable chunk of the tree behind it, and the tree behind that. The nail fell to the ground unharmed.

Ryan jerked forward, the rifle falling out of his hands and clattering across the grass a few feet ahead of him.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Ryan said. “This has like,” he fumbled for the right word, “reverse recoil!” He picked the assault rifle up and inspected it for damage.

“What does reverse recoil mean?” Michael asked.

“Instead of pushing backwards, it goes forwards. I don’t get it. Doesn’t that go against one of Newton’s Laws?”

“Newton’s Third Law,” Gavin stated, “is that every force has an equal and opposite reaction. Bullet goes one way, gun goes the other. Usually.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Geoff said, “energy can’t be created or destroyed, got it. I assume this why Jeremy wanted us to test these somewhere deserted.”

“That’s the First Law of Thermodynamics, actually.”

“Kids these days,” Geoff shook his head sadly, “spend too much time reading books and not enough shooting firearms.”

A strong gust of wind blew through the forest. The tree with the big hole in it crackled loudly, bending far more than its neighbours.

“That tree’s gonna fall on Gus’s house.” Michael said.

“Gus’s,” Gavin said, screwing up his face, “It’s so awkward to say.”

“Yes but,” Michael continued, “We need to do something about the tree.”

“I have an idea.” Ryan said. “Here, let me load some more of these guns.”

He took Michael, Jack, and Geoff’s chosen weapons and loaded them. Gavin, meanwhile, carefully loaded a whole row of pellets into his pistol. His eyes widened. Geoff took his alien Colt, as he’d dubbed it, and noted it didn’t feel any heavier loaded as it did unloaded. It was still, however, heavier than a normal handgun.

“We need to stop the tree falling,” Ryan explained, “and we can do that by making sure there’s no tree to fall.”

“I like the way you think.” Jack said.

They lined up in front of the tree.

“If a tree doesn’t fall in a forest,” Michael said, “does Gus hear it and get mad?”

“Let’s find out!” Geoff replied, giddy with excitement.

“Watch out for the reverse recoil,” Ryan said, and they fired.

It was an odd feeling, having the gun jump forwards instead of backwards in his hand, but the satisfaction from watching a target fall apart was the same. The tree bent this way and that as holes appeared and grew up and down its length. In less than five seconds the tree was reduced to ashes and a few pine needles drifting gently down.

The back door slammed open.

It wasn’t Gus.

“Oh thank God.” Jeremy said. He looked deathly pale. “It wasn’t the whole forest this time.” His eyes were wide open and wild.

“Jeremy,” Jack said, “Do you want to sit down? You look”-

-“I’m fine, it’s fine. Thank you for, you know, getting me here in one piece.”

“How do you feel?” Geoff asked.

“Like shit, if I’m being honest.”

Lindsay poked her head out the door.

“You have to drink this, then.”

She handed him a Red Bull. Jeremy took it and opened it, taking a swig.

“Not the ‘whole forest’ this time?” Ryan pressed.

“Yeah. Fire just…” Jeremy shook his head, “…everywhere… And the screaming…”

The door opened again and a very irate Gus stormed out.

“ _What the hell did you do to my trees!?!_ ” he screamed. “I told you not to touch ANYTHING!”

“Now Gus,” Geoff started, but Gus cut him off.

“Papers _moved_! Sandwiches _disintegrated_! You’re lucky I don’t just bring down your whole organisation right”-

-“Gus, wait!” Gavin shouted. “Look at this!”

“ _What.”_

Gavin took his magazine off his pistol and shook the pellets onto the ground. A dozen, two dozen, three dozen pellets fell onto the grass and burned a cold hole into the ground. Far too many to fit inside the magazine.

“Gavin,” Michael said, “how did you”-

-“Gavin… You genius, that proves my theory!” Gus said excitedly. He bolted inside.

The sudden change from furious to gleeful was a little… unnerving, if Geoff was being honest. Still, he was thankful for Gavin, distraction extraordinaire. Maybe when this was all over, he’d buy him a new motorbike.

Lindsay poked her head out the back door again.

“Uhh, I think Gus wants to tell you about his theory. That, or he’s finally, you know, dropped the ball.”

Geoff turned to Jeremy. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Not at all. But we’d better pick up those pellets and figure out what Gus wants.”

They came inside to the fluttering of paper and a fallen filing cabinet. Gus stepped over it uncaringly and waved a bit of paper in their faces.

“Branes!” Gus said.

“Brains?” Geoff replied.

“Not the thing in your head, the things controlling reality! Branes!”

“Geoff,” Lindsay said, “is there a next of kin we can contact”-

-“What’s a brane?” Ryan asked.

Gus calmed down for a moment and thrust the paper towards Ryan. To Geoff, it looked like someone drew two circles, badly, and connected them with a bunch of squiggles.

“Are you familiar with string theory?” Gus asked.

“Of-fucking-course not.” Ryan replied.

“I’ll give you a quick introduction then.”

“Oh please no.” Geoff said.

“String theory is the idea that everything is made tiny, infinitely thin and long pieces of string instead of atoms and stuff,” Gus explained. “The string vibrates and the different frequencies are interpreted as mass and such.”

“That’s great.” Geoff said. “Anyway”-

-“But what are those strings connected to?” Gus asked. “They’re connected to membranes, or branes for short. These branes have mass too, and it’s theorised that our universe lives on a three-dimensional brane. The more dimensions a brane has, the more mass it has too.”

“This sounds like science fiction.” Jack said. “You’re not saying the universe actually works like that? Trillions of tiny strings?”

Gus shrugged. “I dunno. It’s just a theory. One of many, I might add. But I’ve been thinking about the alien technology and why it might be heavier than the regular stuff around us.”

“Why?” Gavin asked.

“I bet they’re made with branes of higher dimensions. More dimensions, more mass. That’s how your alien pistol was able to hold so many more pellets than it should- they’re being stored in higher dimensions in the gun. Those extra dimensions make the weapons heavier.”

“It’s not just the weapons,” Ryan said, “it’s all the alien technology that’s so heavy. Are you saying they all have higher dimensional stuff going on?”

“Probably. Maybe. Sure, why not?”

“Sounds like bullshit.” Michael said. “There’s no way everything actually works like that.”

“Again,” Gus said, “It’s just an idea. A group of them, actually. Humanity’s wildest ideas come together under one banner: to finally figure out what’s going on out there. It’s called M-Theory.”

“What does the M stand for?” Gavin asked.

Gus shrugged again. “Not sure. Membrane? Multiverse? Who knows?”

“Alright. Cool, got it.” Geoff said. “We have a more pressing matter to deal with.”

“And what’s that?” Jack asked.

“Jeremy,” Geoff addressed him, “was it part of your plan, and mine, technically, to sink my super yacht?”

Jeremy looked sheepish. “…Maybe?”

“Eugh.” Geoff said, then sighed. “You’re lucky I like you, Jeremy. Otherwise you’d be joining it on the sea floor.”

Jeremy laughed nervously.

 

 *******

 

A few hours later Geoff found himself sitting in front of the burnt remains of the tree. The roots had provided enough fuel to keep the embers glowing, so Geoff had gathered some dry kindling and started a fire proper. He sort of wished he had some marshmallows or something, but mostly he wanted a stiff drink.

Jeremy had said they didn’t need to go anywhere until the next morning, so the group had spread out and relaxed. Ryan was with Gus going over the whole ‘brane’ thing in detail. Michael and Jack had gone down to the highway to steal a better car, and Gavin was fiddling with his phone in the front yard. The afternoon was winding down, and long streams of shadow and light cut through the trees. The clouds had the faintest orange tinge to them, and they floated lazily above on a gentle breeze. It was quiet.

Geoff was getting pretty tired of waiting for Jeremy’s okay before doing something. Especially when said okay involved his super yacht going under. It was something he wanted to talk to his crew about, the next time Jeremy wasn’t around.

Geoff threw a stick rather aggressively into the fire.

Jeremy sat down next to him and Geoff startled, kicking his leg out and almost burning his foot in the flames.

“Jesus Christ, Jeremy!” Geoff exclaimed, “I almost had a heart attack!”

“I’m surprisingly sneaky,” Jeremy replied.

“I definitely agree with the ‘surprising’ part.”

“I never seem to stop surprising you.” Jeremy said with a sigh.

“You say the same about us, so I guess we’re even.”

They sat in silence for a little while. Eventually Jeremy put another stick on the fire to keep it going.

“Are you alright, Jeremy?” Geoff asked gently.

“Yeah, yeah, you said Kerry put most of the blood back in and I’ve had like three Red Bulls today”-

-“Not about that. Okay, a little, three energy drinks is definitely too many to have in one day.”

“Okay, _mum_.”

“Earlier today, Jeremy, you looked _terrified_.”

There was a bit of a pause.

“I was,” Jeremy admitted, “I was scared to death.”

Geoff threw some more sticks on the fire. It crackled peacefully in the background.

“I thought… I was worried I’d have to reset again,” Jeremy explained, “I don’t know how you did it. It must be even worse now, since you can’t come back any more. You’re… so good at taking things in your stride.”

Geoff laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Jeremy asked.

“Ah, nothing, you’re just not the first person to say that to me. You’re not really asking about the fear of losing progress, you’re asking about the lack of control.” Geoff said gently. “What do you do when even your most carefully laid plans go awry?”

Jeremy nodded. “Something like that.”

“A long time ago, I would have said to make new plans. Improvise. Wing it, even.”

“The Fakes are the champions of winging it. I don’t think a single heist you’ve done has gone to plan.”

“We are. The trick is to know when to wing it, and when to plan for every possible outcome.” Geoff stared darkly into the flames. “Some things, you need to plan for. Or you’ll do something you’ll regret for the rest of your days.”

“So what should I do?”

“Do you want to know why my heists always work out, even if the plan falls apart at the first step? Why my crew’s risen to the top even though it looks like the odds are stacked against us?”

Jeremy nodded again, eagerly.

“Because I love them. And I would do absolutely anything, even give my own life, to keep them safe. I know they’d do the same for me, and if we keep doing stupid things for each other in a big stupid circle, eventually we’ll roll out of the danger and live to cause trouble somewhere else.”

Geoff couldn’t help but smile at the mental picture he’d drawn himself.

“You make it sound simple.” Jeremy said.

“It’s not about simple. It’s about balance. How much control you want over a situation versus how much you trust other people to do what they do best. And recently you’ve been doing a hell of a lot of controlling.”

Jeremy stared glumly at the fire.

“All those thousands and thousands of resets,” Geoff continued, “the mistakes, and scrapped plans, and anger and failure. You know if you can just _get it perfect_ , then it’ll all fall into place and you can move on, whatever that means to you. But you haven’t figured out why you can’t get it perfect.”

“Why not?” Jeremy leaned in. “What am I missing?”

Geoff picked up a branch, dried out and covered in dead leaves.

“You can’t control us.”

Geoff pushed the branch into the flames and the leaves caught alight almost instantly, sending embers shooting towards the sky and spiralling down around the forest floor. He stood up and walked back towards the house, leaving Jeremy to stamp them out before anything else caught fire.


	7. Something Something Short Joke

_Ray picked up his duffel again and when he turned around Ryan was pointing a knife at him. Confused, he stared at it for a second before he realised Ryan was holding the knife by the blade and offering him the hilt. He accepted the knife and turned it over in his hands._

_“Ryan, this is your favourite knife.”_

_Ryan cleared his throat._

_“It’s an Ontario Survival Bowie. Made from that new tungsten-carbide. It’s really easy to clean, stronger than steel, and will last you a hell of a long time.”_

_Ryan reached out and gently cupped the side of Ray’s chin. He stroked a thumb over Ray’s stubble. Ray covered Ryan’s hand with his own._

_“It’ll keep you safe.” Ryan said. He swallowed heavily._

_“I’ll look after it.” Ray said, and nodded. It was like he held a little piece of Ryan in his hand._

_Ray let his hand slip from where it covered Ryan’s. Slowly, Ryan mimicked the motion._

_Ray turned towards the front door only to find Michael waiting in the doorway._

 

 *******

 

Michael fiddled with the alien shotgun while Geoff and Jack argued.

“You shouldn’t have gone off at him like that.” Jack said. “What if he decided to just up and leave?”

“Oh _sorry_ Jack,” Geoff replied, heavy with sarcasm. “Should I just bend over and take it from him then? _Mr J, what else is it okay to do since it’s all apparently my idea anyway?_ ”

“I can’t believe you’re this upset over a boat.”

“I don’t know, Jack? Maybe it’s a whole big mess of things I’m upset about! Maybe this is my way of dealing with all the bullshit with Zancudo!”

Michael loaded a few more rounds into the gun as the argument continued. And a few more… and a few more… if there was a limit to how many pellets would fit, Michael doubted he would find it.

Ryan passed him another rack of pellets.

“Here’s the thing I never got about Jeremy,” Ryan murmured. He was looking much better than yesterday, after cleaning up and resting with a long night’s sleep. “He says he needs us, but I don’t understand why he hasn’t just walked up to Prince James and put a bullet through his head. Up until he saved us from Colmillo Blanco’s dinghy, James trusted him, right? Colmillo Blanco listened to him when he asked them to move the dinghy attack to an earlier date.”

“Obviously this is all part of some convoluted, overarching conspiracy.” Michael deadpanned.

“Calm down, Gus. I still trust Jeremy, but I’m beginning to agree with Geoff. I don’t know why we can’t know the whole plan.”

“The only reason I can think of is that it won’t go well for all of us.” Michael said. “Maybe the plan only has room for four of us making it out alive. He knows we’d dump him in a second if that was the case.”

“Then why wouldn’t he let us brainstorm ways to improve it? Isn’t that why his plan is actually Jeremy and Geoff’s plan?”

Jeremy came down the stairs then, yawning a little and rubbing his head, wincing as he did.

“Morning guys,” Jeremy said, “I overslept a little so we only have about half an hour”-

-“Half an hour to do what, exactly?” Geoff spat. Jeremy looked startled at Geoff tone, and Michael saw the understanding flash across his face when he realised how angry Geoff still was. “Are you gonna just give us the cliff notes and pray we’ll figure out the rest?”

Jeremy shrugged sheepishly.

“It’s worked so far, hasn’t it?”

“Except it hasn’t. On my yacht”-

-“I can get you a new yacht. Just give me a few days after all this is over. I know how to get an even bigger one.” Jeremy finished with a wink.

“ _I don’t want a new yacht!_ ” Geoff yelled. The sound drew Gavin in from another room and he shimmied up against the wall next to Ryan.

“What’s going on?” Gavin murmured. Ryan shushed him, watching Geoff closely.

A perplexed expression passed over Jeremy’s features. “Then what the fuck is the problem?”

“I want my crew to know what the _hell_ is about to happen so they don’t”-

Geoff’s voice cracked.

“It’s not about the damn boat.” Geoff continued on in a quieter tone. “Your stupid, dumb, _stupid_ way of doing things clearly doesn’t work. Was it part of the plan to get buried under rubble when the tank fell into the tunnel?”

Jeremy opened his mouth-

-“And don’t give me some _bull_ about how it worked out in the end! You almost died!”

“Geoff, please”- Jack tried to cut in but Geoff stopped him with a sharp hand motion.

“You told us about the tunnel but you didn’t tell us about Prince James calling the cops on my yacht. Would you have told us a few minutes beforehand if you were conscious?  Was that the plan? We’d make a sudden, daring departure and they’d blow up the yacht and think we were dead?”

Jeremy quickly nodded. “I’m sorry Geoff, but it would have been fine if you’d listened when I told you not to throw those grenades”-

-“You don’t get to pin _any of this_ on _me_! You cannot _fucking_ say that any of this is my fault, or part of _my fucking plan_ when it let me think I’d sent Michael and Ryan to their deaths!”

Of course it wasn’t about the boat. It never had been. As soon as Michael had seen the twin rockets heading his way Ryan was already in front of him, shield raised and braced for impact. He hadn’t expected the helicopters to get the first shots off and obviously Geoff hadn’t either, but he’d never been afraid, how could he be when Ryan was right there with him with the shield gauntlet?

But Geoff had made difficult calls in the past before. Hell, half their heists were improbable odds and Geoff had always been prepared to make decisions then. Michael himself had made a lot of them when he led the Lads.

Maybe it wasn’t about Michael and Ryan either? Maybe Geoff hadn’t been prepared to worry about _Jeremy_ as well, and that had scared him? The couple of seconds where Jeremy had been buried and no one knew where he was had been terrifying. Michael _liked_ Jeremy, not initially but how could he not after he helped take out The Inconvenience? And after he’d given so much to try and keep them safe? They all liked Jeremy. This second degree was probably not what he needed right now.

Geoff loomed over Jeremy, eyes red around the rims. Jeremy, to his credit, stood unflinching in his path.

“Because, _Rimmy_ , if your plan and _your_ way of doing things had worked, you would be out enjoying life instead of stuck with us in this loop.” Geoff paused to swallow. “But you are. And if we keep trying it your way, my crew and I are going to end up dead in a ditch. I’m thankful you found us right when you’ve almost got everything sorted out, but something needs to change.”

Jeremy narrowed his eyes at Geoff.

“Yeah, right. I bet you’re so thankful I came to Los Santos and fucked up your operations. You must be so damn happy that thousands of versions of yourself and your lovers have died so I could get here. You’d trade all their lives for those four?” He pointed at the rest of them. Michael turned to Geoff, eyes wide. “Thousands of Michaels and Jacks and”-

-“ _I’m_ not the reason they’re dead.” Geoff sneered.

Jeremy went silent. His hands shook, and he raised an arm as if to do something, Michael wasn’t sure what, but he managed to restrain himself. Gavin and Jack looked at Geoff with similarly shocked expressions.

“Geoff.” Ryan said. “You need to calm down. _Now_.”

Geoff shot daggers at Ryan, who stared back with a deep frown, arms crossed. After a few seconds Geoff seemed to deflate a little and looked away. He knew he’d crossed a line.

“If I were a different man,” Jeremy said in a low voice, almost low and quiet enough for Michael to miss it, “I would leave the next day or so entirely up to you and let you live the consequences. Or I would explain what’s going to happen in all its agonising detail and you’d have to live with that too. Then I would kill myself and avoid getting shot in the fucking arm at the docks the next time. But I’m not that kind of guy.” He let out a long breath. “Haven’t been him in a long while.”

Geoff’s shoulders relaxed and a look of remorse crossed his face. That was typical of Geoff- he’d blow up in your face and then spend the next half hour trying to make it up to you.

“Jeremy,” Geoff said, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. You’ve been under a lot of stress and you got shot twice and I know you’re just trying to keep us alive”-

-“But you’re right, Geoff,” Jeremy argued, “There’s probably a few things I could be more open about”-

-“You haven’t led us wrong yet”-

-“But I have, thousands of times”-

-“Come on, guys.” Michael cut in. “Like, come on.”

“But Geoff does have a point.” Jeremy said. “Usually things are… a bit better at this point. There’s less arguing. I look less like a crazy person when I’m not covered in blood and keeling over half the time. Soon I’ll have to give the reins back to Geoff because as he said, my way of doing things only takes us so far. It’ll be up to him work out the last kinks in the plan.

“You just have to understand,” Jeremy pleaded, “that knowing events change how they go about. A little knowledge is dangerous. And even I don’t know how many guards there are sometimes, or if someone’s gonna throw a left or right hook, but you guys are… dare I say… competent enough to figure those details out yourself. Throwing myself into that will just confuse you.”

“Us?” Gavin said. “Competent? Are you sure?”

“Let me rephrase. Five people in this room are competent.”

Gavin pulled a face. Michael snickered.

Jeremy glanced at Geoff’s watch. “We’ve only got about twenty minutes now. I suggest you all start getting ready for a fight.”

“Twenty minutes until what?” Gavin asked.

Jeremy thought about it for a moment, then decided to spill the beans.

“I need you to _promise me_ you won’t tell Burnie, okay? Prince James has figured out its easier to call the cops on you and your allies than it is to use Colmillo Blanco to attack you. He’s sending the Los Santos Police after Burnie and Rooster Teeth.”

“Holy fuck.” Michael said. “When? Twenty minutes from now? And we can’t tell Burnie?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Burnie will get a tip in about an hour’s time and he’ll have about ten minutes to prepare. Once the police start working their way up the tower, we need to swoop in and save the day. This way Burnie can be convinced to help us when we finally confront James.” He paused for a moment, then added “Don’t worry about anyone your care about getting hurt. You’ll lose a few employees, but not anyone you personally know. As long as we leave in twenty minutes, that is.”

“That last part,” Jack said, “That’s not something you usually tell us, is it?”

“Nope.” Jeremy cast a side-eye at Geoff. “But I’m trying to be a bit more… considerate, without changing the outcome too much, hopefully.”

“Why would the police go after Rooster Teeth?” Ryan asked. “They don’t have any direct ties to us.”

“He had the helmet for a long time.” Jeremy said. “Probably fed them enough information so they’d feel justified in doing a raid.”

Jack frowned.

“Then we can’t just go in there guns blazing and hold the police off. That’s the same as outright saying “Rooster Teeth works with us”. If the police see us helping them, Rooster Teeth is as good as finished.”

“But we have to help them.” Gavin said. “There’s a shit-load of evidence up there that’ll link them to us. Not just computer stuff that I could clear with the helmet. Papers, guns, we can’t let the police get their hands on any of that.”

“Unless…” Geoff said, thinking. “We go in there for an entirely _different_ reason.”

“Explain.” Jack said.

“We’re the FAHC. We break into places and steal shit. We can make it look like we’re trying to steal something from Rooster Teeth before the police get there. Beat the shit out of Burnie in front of the police commissioner or something. God knows I’ve wanted to half the time.”

“That’s going to be difficult to pull off.” Jack said.

Jeremy pointed at the storage container holding the alien helmet. “Not with that. A couple of helicopters will be circling around by the time we finish up, one of them from the news. You can act out a scene with Burnie and Gav can make sure it spreads around as another one of the Fakes’ ludicrous heists.”

“Sounds good,” Michael said, “I’m in for simultaneously saving and kicking Burnie’s ass.”

“Yeah,” Gavin said, “I’m down. We could have used his help getting into Zancudo but no, he thought Colmillo Blanco was the biggest threat.”

“It wasn’t really about them,” Ryan said, “it was about Jeremy. But I reckon after today he’ll change his mind about him.”

“So Geoff?” Jeremy asked. “Are you happy with this?”

“Yeah, cause it all seems to make sense.” Geoff replied. “I do have a question though. How many times have you done this part?”

“Oh, dozens, dozens…” Jeremy said. “At least two, I’d say.”

“Two dozen, so at least twenty four times.”

“…Yeah. But almost all of those went well! I barely added anything to the plan, so it’s all you!” Jeremy said with hopeful expression on his face.

“Almost all of them?”

“As is par for the course.”

“We’re really getting close, then, aren’t we. To wrapping all this up.”

Jeremy ran a shaking hand through his hair. “Oh yes.”

 

 *******

 

Michael noticed an absence of police on patrol on the way to the City of Los Santos. It was about 11am when they pulled up a block away from Rooster Teeth Tower, and the front entrance was thick with police milling about and civilians trying to get a shot of the action, phones raised high above their heads. Weasel News had even made an appearance and a reporter and camera guy were setting up and practicing lines. Occasionally gunshots could be heard from high up in the tower, and quite a few shattered window remnants littered the ground.

Geoff took one look at the scene ahead of him and grimaced.

“Shiiiiiiit.” Geoff said. “We better take the back entrance.”

“Back entrance?” Michael said. “I didn’t think it _had_ a back entrance.” Granted, he hadn’t been inside the building as many times as Geoff had, but he’d notice a friggin door out back. A secret entrance, then?

“We’re gonna make a back entrance.” Geoff held up one of the teleportation cubes and tossed it up in the air.

“ _Yesss_.” Gavin whispered. Michael pulled a face. He wanted a secret entrance.

The back of the building was significantly quieter with only a half dozen or so officers skulking around, picking through the back bins for evidence and shooing away interested civilians. The back was a bare brick wall with only a sign directing visitors to a side entrance to park their cars officially adorning it. Someone had spray-painted an orange symbol on the exposed brick that Michael didn’t recognise. Looked like a weird H.

The six of them attempted to look inconspicuous by leaning against the wall of a bus stop right outside. Geoff prepared to throw the teleportation cube but Gavin placed a hand over his, covering the cube and stopping him.

“Wait,” Gavin murmured, “do you want the police to know we’re here right away? They’re gonna see us run over there all out in the open, if they miss a chunk of the building disappearing.”

Geoff glanced back at him. “Do you have something in mind?”

“A distraction.” Gavin grinned. “Take our new back door and drop it on the police cruiser.” He pointed at a police car parked on the footpath.

Geoff nodded and discreetly tossed a cube around the side of the bus stop. It hit the corner of the building and a neat circle of brick and concrete flooring disappeared, revealing the interior. Straight after, he hurled another cube towards the police cruiser. The building corner materialised just above the car and… hit it like a tonne of bricks. A cloud of dust and bits of brick and concrete flew over the ground, and the cops shouted and swore and the civilians ran to safety.

Perfect cover. Michael and Jeremy led the others through the dust and inside the building.

“We’ll head up until we hit some officers,” Geoff explained as they jogged to the stairs, “The Gents will fuck them up and draw their attention until you lot deal with all the evidence and then we’ll join you up there and make our daring escape.”

“Right.” Michael said, and turned to Gavin. “Team Lads?”

“Team Lads.”

They high-fived. Then, Gavin offered his hand to Jeremy, palm up.

“Team Lads?” Gavin asked.

Jeremy’s eyes flickered over to Michael’s.

Michael held his own palm out. “Lads, Jeremy?”

Jeremy raised his eyebrows, hesitated a moment, and then hit both their hands.

“Team Lads.” Jeremy said, a bright smile lighting his features.

Jack gave the three of them a thumbs up.

They started climbing the stairs. Three flights, six flights, nine flights of stairs later, Geoff and Jack began to falter.

“We have… to be close the cops by now.” Geoff heaved. “Can we not… wait here for them?”

“Once all this is over,” Ryan said, barely out of breath, “I’m putting both of you on a fitness regime. Too many nights reading books, not enough on the treadmill.”

“Fuck you.” Jack said.

“When we get back to the penthouse.”

The group had slowed to a stop. Michael pulled the x-ray glasses out of a pocket, Jeremy had swiped them somehow and given them to him in the car, and maneuvered them over his eyes. He grimaced, adjusting to his new sight, and looked up.

“The cops are two levels up. I think Burnie and the other high ups are holding them off from the highest few levels. I see a bunch of other people milling around on this one. Can’t tell if they’re cops or not.”

“Good.” Geoff said, getting his breath back. “We’ll stop that lot coming up if they are and you can deal with the ones above.”

Michael passed the glasses to Jeremy, who donned them without so much as blinking. He pulled his alien enhanced sniper rifle from his back and lined up a shot through the ceiling.

“You guys ready?”

“Go for it.” Geoff said.

Jeremy fired.

The gun kicked forwards and a pellet passed through the ceiling like it was mist. Jeremy lined up two more shots and two more pellets disappeared into the ceiling.

“Reckon that’ll grab their attention.” Jeremy said. “Shall we carry on?”

“We shall.” Michael replied, alien enhanced shotgun ready to go. “Just point and I’ll shoot.”

The three Lads climbed two more staircases and quietened down while the levels above them grew louder. Cops yelled at each other and exchanged fire towards an invisible target. They stepped over a corpse guarding the landing and slowed down, taking their time to reach the action.

“Stop here.” Jeremy breathed. Michael only heard the command because his earpiece picked it up clear as day. There were still several walls between them and the police, but that wasn’t going to be a problem.

Jeremy scanned the spaces ahead of them with the x-ray glasses.

“Here,” Jeremy pointed, “here, and… here.”

Michael fired decisively, three rounds quickly exiting the shotgun and flying through the walls. Michael forgot to brace for the reverse recoil and almost dropped the weapon. Still, Jeremy nodded as the rounds hit their targets, as indicated by the screams, so the lapse mustn’t have affected the shots.

“That’s about half of them down in that section, I’d say, and none from Rooster Teeth.” Jeremy said. “The rest of them are coming this way now. We should greet ‘em first, don’t you think?”

Michael nodded. Gavin grinned. Jeremy took the glasses off and clicked his tongue.

“Here comes the fun part.”

And Jeremy was absolutely right. A cop stuck his head out from around a corner and Gavin sent a bullet through the side of his face. They jogged past his prone figure and sent the officers behind him scattering to find cover and return fire. It was easy- almost too easy to cut them down with the alien enhanced shotgun. The building, the identically dressed assailants, Gavin by his side… it was like old times. Except Jeremy was here now too. Michael found that didn’t detract from the experience.

Once the sound of bullets had subsided Michael called out to the next room.

“Burnie? You there?”

“… Michael?!”

“Yep. Gav and Jeremy are with me, so don’t shoot us please.”

“Only because you asked so nicely. Lemme unlock this door for you.”

Ahead, a heavy looking door opened outwards. There were numerous small holes dotting the frame where the police had tried to enter, even two military-grade compact battering rams. The three Lads picked their way around the debris and Jeremy pushed the door open.

“Thank fuck you guys came when you did,” Burnie said. He tucked a pistol into a back pocket. “But if the police see you saving our asses”-

Michael slammed the shotgun stock directly into Burnie’s nose. Blood curled in a gentle arc from the wound and splattered across a shelf. Michel grabbed him as his knees buckled and pushed him out past the doorway.

“What the _fuck_ , Michael?” Burnie spluttered. “You goddamn broke my fucking nose!”

“Saving your dumb ass is what I’m doing.” Michael replied. “Probably could have avoided this mess if you’d listened to us earlier.”

Burnie shot him a dirty look.

Gavin pulled a few teleportation cubes from his pockets while Jeremy aimed his gun further into the room. There were six or seven other employees hiding between the shelves, including Blaine and Barbara.

“We’ve got to make it look like we’re legit robbing you,” Jeremy said. “The police will look at the security cam footage and figure out real quick we’re not on the same side. Just need to make it look real. Anyone want to volunteer getting hit in the face?”

“I volunteer Blaine!” Barbara shouted. “I’ll even punch him for you.”

“Fuck you.” Blaine said.

“Buy me dinner first.”

“Please,” Jeremy directed attention back on himself, “If you could all get the hell out of here now and look like you’re afraid for your lives, we’d appreciate it.”

“ _I am_ scared for my life.” Burnie grumbled.

“Wuss.” Michael said. He pressed a hand to his comms. “Geoff, how’s it looking down there?”

“We’re holding them off.” Geoff replied. “We’ve cleared the main fire stairs so everyone can get out that way. We’ll draw the cops towards the front entrance. Have you found Burnie?”

“Yep, and he’s none too happy about it.”

“Cool. We’ll meet you up there once all the employees are out.”

The seven employees filed out with their hands above their heads and sprinted towards the stairs once they were out of the confines of the room. Blaine had muttered something on his way out, dabbing at a split lip, but it had been too quiet for Michael to hear.

Burnie at this point had risen to his knees and placed his hands on his head.

“I suppose you’ll want me to override security codes,” Burnie said, “even though you can use your own.”

“You catch on fast.” Jeremy said. “Also, your nose isn’t broken, so you don’t need to worry about Michael breaking your pretty face.”

“When this is over, he’d better worry about his own pretty face.” Burnie muttered.

“Aww, you think I’m pretty?” Michael fluttered his eyelashes at him. Burnie sighed.

There was a cyan flash from behind them as Gavin threw a cube. The contents of the room disappeared, with only a few pieces of paper drifting to the floor to indicate the room had been filled with records.

“Any other rooms like this we need to clear?” Gavin asked.

“One on the floor below and two on the level above. Are you going to fix our digital records with the helmet?”

Gavin nodded. “We’ll sort that out after the physical evidence is dealt with. Just need everything else that could connect us right now.” Gavin pointed his pistol at Burnie. “So, uh, if you wouldn’t mind…”

Burnie led them to a couple of different storerooms and stood back as Gavin teleported the contents away. God, where did all that shit even end up? Was it even the same shit? What if it went to another universe and stayed there, and shit from a different universe came back when the next cube was thrown?

Michael didn’t want to think about it.

“Okay,” Jack said through the comms, “The employees have just run out. Is that everyone out of there?”

“Everyone that’s in danger of being shot by police.” Michael said. “I think there’s a bunch more on the floors below us, but the police won’t shoot civilians. I think. Jeremy?”

“They’ll be fine. They don’t even know the business is a front.”

“Heh. Idiots.”

“We’re coming up.” Jack continued. “You know what to do?”

“We’ll meet you on the roof.”

The rest of the way up was quiet, with other people on the few levels above. Burnie opened an access door to the roof and Michael stepped out into the wind and sunlight.

There were a few helicopters scanning the skies. Most of them looked military, but a couple bore news channel branding. Jeremy peeked out the door but didn’t go further, instead, he moved to the side so Gavin could get around him.

Michael threateningly gestured to Burnie with his shotgun. Burnie lowered himself to his knees. The helicopters circled closer.

“We’re gonna yell mean things at you!” Michael yelled. “So it looks like we’re harassing you!”

“You _are_ harassing me!”

“It’ll look better if it’s authentic!”

The access door opened and the Gents strode out onto the roof. Ryan didn’t break his stride when grabbing the back of Burnie’s jacket and hauling him towards the edge.

“One more show of dramatics,” Ryan said, “And then we’ll be out of your hair.”

“It’s always one more show of dramatics with you lot.” Burnie called over the wind. “This fancy blue light and all these goddamn helicopters. What’s with it with you and helicopters?”

“I’m not the one sending helicopters after us. And I’d much prefer helicopters to military jets and tanks. Now, be a dear and look terrified while I dangle you over this edge.”

“While you do wha- _Jesus fuck oh my God! Pull me up right now!_ ”

Geoff looked appraisingly at the squirming man in Ryan’s grasp. “Eh, he’s still looking pretty dignified. Gotta sell it. Would you mind pretending to pass out from fear?”

Burnie became limp in Ryan’s hands.

“Fuck you guys.” Burnie said. “This is embarrassing.”

“You should be thanking us.” Geoff said. “All of us going out of our way to save your dumb ass who can’t even keep his company-destroying piles of evidence in a secret storehouse somewhere. Even after you refused to help us with Prince James. Look what that got you.”

“This was Prince James?” Burnie said, lying face down on the concrete. It was hard to hear what he was saying. “He tipped us off to the cops?”

“Who else? We’ll go over it all later. Until then, keep your mouth shut and pants wet.”

Burnie said nothing more.

Michael walked over to Jack. “We’d better clear these helicopters away now. They’ve had their show.”

Jack nodded and raised his alien enhanced rifle, but then lowered it, frowning.

“The bullets are gonna go straight through the choppers and I’m not a good enough shot to get the pilots. I don’t think any of us are.”

“Shit.” Geoff said. “I don’t suppose any of you brought any hard hitting long range weapons?”

“Up fifteen flights of stairs?” Ryan said. “I think the fuck not.”

“Didn’t stop you taking the minigun up like thirty flights of stairs.”

“Special circumstances. Also, not a long range weapon.”

Jeremy’s voice came loud and clear through the comms.

“Under the ventilation pipe. I left something for you there.”

Michael raised his eyebrows. When did Jeremy find the time to do that? Was it just before they caught him and he made them play Uno for three hours?

Michael found Jeremy’s gift and hauled it out into the open. It was a rocket launcher, with two rockets. Michael smirked. Perfect.

“Stand back, boys!” Michael yelled, priming and aiming the weapon. The helicopters circled closer.  A rocket shot out of the barrel and Michael was relieved to feel the familiar kick of recoil pushing him back, as it should. The rocket sailed true to its target and hit a military helicopter, separating it from its tail and forcing the cockpit into a deathly spiral. The other helicopters were quick to retreat out of sight, but not before Michael reloaded the rocket launcher and hit another one.

Out of sight of the helicopters, Jeremy came out onto the roof.

“Ready for the great escape?” Jeremy asked. The rest of them shifted nervously. Michael glanced at the access door. The remaining police would find their way up here shortly, and Michael wanted to be gone before that happened. He just wasn’t a big fan of the method Jeremy suggested.

“Are those bullet wounds going to hamper your throwing arm?” Michael asked.

“They won’t bother me. I’ve made the throw plenty of times. You’ll be fine.”

The five of them, minus Jeremy, stood together in a close bunch. Gavin held onto his hand with a warm squeeze. Michael returned the gesture.

“Jeremy,” Geoff said, “You have one of the fake IDs Gus made, right?”

Jeremy passed his equipment, including his earpiece, to Jack. “I do. The news helicopters didn’t see me on the roof so the police will think I’m just an ordinary employee. I’ll make it out just fine.”

He pulled a teleportation cube out of his pocket. “I’ll see you back at the apartment.”

With that, he tossed the cube at them. Reality burst open around them with cyan light and Michael flinched and closed his eyes.

The darkness behind his lids… unravelled, into millions of tiny ribbons. Beyond them was a space, gently glowing with a soft cyan light and Michael found himself floating in it. He tried to gasp, but there was no air to make the noise. Fingertips brushed against his own, and Michael blinked.

He found himself standing on a different roof, gasping for breath. Gavin’s fingers tightened around his own. He blinked rapidly, adjusting to the bright sunlight. A strong breeze whipped his hair around.

“Come on, come on.” Ryan ushered them towards an access door, wasting no time. “Before the choppers come back.” The door was locked, so Ryan kicked his foot into the handle until Jack pulled him away and tutted at him, setting to work with his lock picks. Geoff leaned against an air conditioning unit, looking a little green.

Meanwhile, Michael whirled around and looked for Rooster Teeth Tower. He could just make out the top of it, high above where he was now but the rest was hidden behind an adjacent apartment building. Jeremy had thrown them clear over one apartment complex and onto the roof of another. The middle apartment complex wasn’t much taller than the one he was on now, but it was still an impressive throw considering the wind and Jeremy’s injuries.

Jeremy had a _fantastic_ throwing arm. In fact, a fantastically strong pair of arms indeed…

The access door clicked open and they hurried inside before the tell-tale sound of helicopter blades could follow them.

 

 *******

 

“Burnie is, understandably, very mad,” Geoff said as he swirled a soft drink in his hand, making the ice clink. “But I don’t think he’s gonna underestimate Prince James again. The man is a menace.”

“Him or Burnie?” Michael said with a smirk.

They lounged around in the living room of Geoff’s apartment, the barest hint of afternoon light making its way through the blinds to define their features. No lights were on, except the large flat screen TV which played the news quietly in the background and the faint glow from various phones as they did damage control from the Rooster Teeth tower raid.

At least, that’s what Weasel News reported. Rather than own up to the fact that six people had completely circumnavigated Los Santos’ finest and stolen something before they could, the police spun a story that the Fakes had gotten there first and they had only responded to the break-in. Footage, carefully altered by Gavin with the alien helmet, made that story more believable and the major networks were spreading it like wildfire. The footage of Burnie on the roof already had a million views on YouTube.

“Is he out of police custody?” Jack asked. “Or did he use his phone call to call you?”

“He’s out. No point keeping a victim in an interrogation room when they won’t tell you anything.” Geoff tossed his phone onto a couch cushion and took a long sip of his drink. “This is a headache I’ll be up all night trying to fix. Making sure all the employees keep their mouths shut, finding new places to store the documents and stuff, refurbishing the tower…”

Ryan smiled at him. “We’re right here to help, Geoff.”

“Good God, no.” Geoff made a pained face. “I don’t want any of you touching this with a ten foot pole. We need a delicate touch to smooth all this over.” Ryan’s smile widened, radiating smugness. “So Jack, if you wouldn’t mind…”

Jack sighed. “Sure, Geoff.”

They took their leave, heading towards the study.

“Thank fuck,” Michael said, also tossing his phone away. “I didn’t want to have to deal with that shit. Hey Jer, when do we have to do the next thing?”

“Nothing until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Nothing? You’re not gonna spring some bullshit on us in the middle of the night?”

“No.” Jeremy said, but he looked a little shifty in his seat. “Why?”

“I wanna celebrate tonight. We’ve got games, we’ve got bevs, we’ve got good company. It’s not going to fuck us over if we relax a bit?”

“Nah, we’re good tonight.” Jeremy leaned over and turned an Xbox on with his foot. “I wanna kick your ass at Mario Kart again.”

“Cool. I wouldn’t have given a fuck if it did, but, you know. I’m a polite asshole.” Michael stood up and wandered into the kitchen, pulling beers and snacks from the fridge and cupboards. Gavin followed closely behind him.

“Ryan? You in?” Gavin asked. He wrapped his arms around Michael and pulled a pouty face. “You wanna have a beer with us?”

Ryan screwed up his face, thinking.

“…I’ll stick around for a drink. But not beer. Too bitter.”

“I can make cocktails.” Jeremy said. “Really fruity ones. You won’t taste the alcohol.”

Ryan nodded, satisfied. “Okay. What can you make?”

 

 *******

 

It turned out Jeremy could make almost any cocktail Michael named, and quite a few more he couldn’t. And he could absolutely still whoop Michael’s ass at Mario Kart even after he’d had four ‘MoloTimmys’, a purple drink garnished with orange slices and Michael had absolutely no idea what it was apart from delicious. The second and third ones proved to be just the same.

Even Ryan had ended up having more than one, the mad lad, but apart from his cheeks turning a rosy pink and a slight decline in his ability to speak, you wouldn’t know. Gavin sat sprawled across his lap, a controller in his hand, and God knew how much _he’d_ had to drink because Gavin was a fucking lightweight and he was giggling up a storm. He was sitting on Ryan’s lap and Ryan was gently scratching at the base of Michael’s neck and Michael would swear blind he didn’t know how it happened but Jeremy was lying down with his head in Michael’s lap and he was running his fingers through his purple hair.

Jeremy sighed contentedly and shuffled a bit closer, getting more comfortable. Michael had sat on the floor with his back against the couch, and it wouldn’t have been very comfortable at all but Ryan had slipped a pillow behind him about half an hour ago and Michael was sure now he’d never want to move again in his life. It was quarter to one in the morning and the night was cooling down, but Jeremy was pleasantly warm above him and almost asleep so it would be rude to move him, right?

Jeremy was the most relaxed Michael had ever seen him. Michael wondered how long it had been since Jeremy could last afford to let go like he has, if he’d _ever,_ in any of his lives. He’d spent thousands of resets hunting the Fakes, thousands trying to befriend them, and thousands more insane, it sounded like.

When was the last time someone just touched him like this?

“Awww shit.” Gavin said, and waved the controller erratically behind his head. Ryan took it from him and stopped massaging Michael to hold it properly. Michael made a low whining noise in the back of his throat.

“Wait a sec Michael,” Ryan murmured, “I know how to poison the sushi this time.” The _Hitman_ loading screen faded away into a snowy landscape.

“I got you, boi,” Gavin said, and proceeded to rub his foot all through Michael’s hair.

Michael tilted his head out of the way and twisted around to grab at Gavin’s ankles, Gavin still giggling away, and it was hard to stop the smile spreading across his own face.

“Careful, idiot,” Michael said, “stop squirming, you’re gonna kick me in the face!”

Jeremy, disturbed from Michael’s lap, grabbed Gavin’s knee and in one swift movement pulled him from the couch. Gavin yelped and crashed in a tangled heap into Jeremy and Michael while Ryan shook his head and ignored the lot of them.

Gavin rolled off the two of them and stretched out on the floor next to Jeremy.

“We need a team name.”

“We _have_ a team name.” Michael replied, and dug his foot into Gavin’s side, making him flinch.

“No, like, one with us and Ryan. I’ve already thought of one for me and Lil’ J. Jeremy. Jer-rimmy. Is that where you got Rimmy Tim from?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Lil’ J? Is that my nickname now?”

“Do you like it?”

“Is that a short joke? I’m not _that_ short! Everyone here’s just really tall!”

“Well  how tall are you, then? Five-six? Five-five?”

Ryan smirked. “Five-three?”

“I’m five-four!”

“It suits you, Lil’ J.” Michael said. “We need a team name too.”

“I’ve already worked it out.” Gavin said. “Me and Lil’ J are Team Boston Tea Party, and you and him are Team Short Temper.”

“What about Ryan?”

“We’re the Battle Buddies.” Ryan said, with an air of finality. He took his eyes off the screen to wink at Jeremy. “There’s no way I’m going to remember all those other, lesser team names though.”

Michael scratched at Ryan’s knee, making him laugh and move his legs away.

“And we still need one for the four of us!” Gavin added.

“You’ve done great with the names so far,” Michael said, “Why don’t you be the mastermind behind that one as well.”

“Argh, dammit.” Ryan huffed. “This isn’t how a _real_ assassination would go anyway. Michael? Do you want a turn?”

“Nah, it’s more fun watching and judging your every move.”

“Battle Buddy?”

Jeremy shook his head as well. “I’ve botched enough assassinations to want to do more in video games.”

“But Lil’ J,” Gavin said, “Have you ever killed anyone by accidentally throwing a butcher’s knife into their head?”

“How on _earth_ does someone do that accidentally?”

“Ask Ryan.”

Jeremy snorted out a laugh. Ryan threw a pillow at Gavin’s head. “In the game, remember, not real life. But we have had our fair share of funny deaths. Remember the time Jack got thrown out of a window? What was that called again?”

“Defenestration, I think.” Michael said. “Good old Beardo. Or was it the other one?”

“Do you remember the time Gavin got mugged and the mugger pushed him over,” Ryan said, “and he stayed on the ground so long a car ran him over and killed him? I landed on Geoff the next reset because I was laughing so hard.”

“You’re one to talk!” Gavin retorted. “You threw a knife at someone and they pulled it out, threw it back, and killed you!”

“Look, I’m usually very good at throwing knives!”

“ _Usually_.” Michael said. “I thought you and Jack were gonna kill each other after that.”

“I was _this_ close to throwing a knife at him and seeing how he liked it.”

“And then Ray came up between you with his hands out,” Michael recounted, shaking his head, “singing something about waffles and we thought he’d lost the plot.”

Gavin sat up so he could sing properly. “He said it meant _we’re all friends, friends love eachother_ , and then we told him each other was two words and he got mad and started calling it waffleo instead!”

They laughed, Jeremy smiling politely, and then the mood grew more sombre, the only sounds the clacking controller as Ryan tried to finish the level again, the rest of them watching silently. Talking about Ray usually had that effect.

“Tell me about him.” Jeremy asked quietly.

“You haven’t looked him up with the helmet?” Gavin said.

“He was never a target,” Jeremy explained, “So I never did. And once I’d decided to help you instead of hunting you down and you all told me these bits and pieces, it felt… disrespectful to. I wanted to hear it from the source, not some documents in a helmet.”

“What do you know about him already?”

“Not much. Just that he left one day without much warning and it almost tore your crew apart, but you’ve recovered since then. I’ve never seen your crew fractured, not even”- Jeremy paused. “Not even after I’d killed some of you. When that happened, you just became more reckless. More dangerous.”

Gavin passed him a beer. “We’ve all killed each other at some point, I think.” Jeremy gladly accepted it.

“Hey, now,” Michael said, “I may have wanted to kill you sometimes but I didn’t, like, shoot you or anything. Unlike Ryan over here. Ryan shot everyone at least once, I think.”

“There were some… heated arguments,” Ryan admitted, “and we may have solved some of them with fights to the death.”

“More like you’d shoot them and declare yourself the winner. Although you stopped when Geoff and Jack double-teamed you after we got out of Arcadius.”

“Thank you for reminding me about how embarrassing that was. You know,” Ryan said, turning to Jeremy and directing the conversation back on track, “Ray was the first one I killed, before we’d found out we could reset. I can’t believe he ever forgave me for that.”

“He’d seem cold and distant until you got to know him.” Michael told Jeremy. “I remember it was what, a month before he left? We decided to sit down and play monopoly. He griped and groaned about it but he sat down and played the whole thing with us. Cracked jokes, made us laugh. He was always… always dedicated to us.”

“When you talk about him,” Jeremy said, “do you know how fond you sound of him?”

“I know how I feel about him, and that’s pretty damn fond I have to say,” Michael admitted. Gavin and Ryan nodded their agreement, Gavin raising a glass. “Always have, always will.”

“I’d like to meet him one day.”

“You’ve never met him?” Gavin asked. “Not in any of the resets?”

Jeremy shook his head. “He still operates in Los Santos, doesn’t he? I’ll admit that more than a couple of times a sniper got me, but I’d have no idea who it was.” Jeremy leaned forward. “Do you think there’s a chance he’s still watching over you?”

Michael shook his head.

“When Ray left, he didn’t do it because he wanted to. He’d had… visions, thousands and thousands of visions after we’d killed the Corpirate. And we’d die in most of them, and he was dead certain that it was his fault and the only solution was to leave and never come back. We argued with him of course, that he was an idiot and whatever was coming, we could handle it together. But then some of the visions started coming true, good ones and bad ones alike, and we knew we had to listen to him. And then one day, he just upped and left. Just like that. Barely had a chance to say goodbye.

“He left, Jeremy. He might still be in Los Santos but we haven’t found a trace of him. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with us. That having anything to do with us is dangerous.” Michael snorted. “Although believe me, if it _had_ been Ray in those other universes you never would have killed a single one of us.”

“Well…” Jeremy said slowly.

“Well? What do you mean well?”

“Don’t get me wrong, you guys make a mean crew and have done a lot of incredible stuff, but…”

“But what?”

“I only really had problems killing all of you at once. Killing one of you individually… it took me about five tries.”

“Five tries!” Gavin all but squeaked. “It only took you five resets to off one of us?”

“Four resets.” Jeremy clarified.

“ _Four resets!_ ”

“I got lucky, okay? Prince James didn’t give me much to work with but he told me where you lived and I saw Jack leave one day to buy groceries. I popped him in the carpark, stole his car, and drove up the coast to plan my next move. Bled out on the beach a few hours later when you caught up to me.”

“Jesus Christ.” Michael said.

“Thought if I got Gavin first you wouldn’t be able to track me down. I was wrong. Couldn’t even get to him at first because you, Michael, would always throw yourself in front of him at the last second. I didn’t and still don’t know how you always knew I was there. When I did finally get him, it didn’t matter. The Vagabond was always one step ahead of me wherever I went, and always extracted his revenge.”

Jeremy stared up at the ceiling, unblinking. Michael recognised the look. If Jeremy continued talking as he would, he’d never stop and it’d be depressing. Michael had to lighten the mood.

“I wouldn’t have seen you.” Michael said. “It would have been Gavin. The sunglasses deceive you. He’s always lookin’ around, trying to appear distracted by his phone.”

“Michael!” Gavin said. “You’re giving away trade secrets!”

“It’s not like he’s trying to kill us anymore, Gav.”

Jeremy smacked himself in the head. “Duh, I’m an idiot. Of course Gavin knew, his sunglasses hid everything.”

“Go on, Lil’ J.” Michael said. “What’d you end up doing next?”

“I got craftier. Kidnapped Jack, but that in itself took a dozen tries.” Jeremy grinned, took another sip of his beer. “Left a message for your crew to pick him up at a dock rigged up with explosives. Of course you didn’t fall for it. Wherever I hid to watch and wait for the right time to set it off, you’d see me before I saw you.”

“That’s the oldest trick in the book!” Gavin said. “Did you think we were idiots?”

“Gavin I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t think that.”

Gavin made a rude gesture. Jeremy continued.

“After that, I tried something else. A couple of times you figured out what was going on, Ryan, when I kidnapped you and tried to get information out of you. You tried to talk me out of it, explained what happened each time I died. How you could help. How you took down the Corpirate. I listened, once. You stabbed me the second I turned my back to you.”

“Wait,” Ryan said, “You tried to kidnap _me_?”

“Oh, and kidnapping Jack was fine?”

“Plus,” Michael added, “It was more than _try_ by the sound of it.”

“Okay, but,” Ryan said, “ _me_? You thought you could get me, the _Vagabond_.”

“Oh, shut up.” Jeremy said. “You weren’t so scary after you’d killed me a dozen times. I wore a mask and the same face paint as you and you were so shocked I had time to do whatever I wanted.”

“I was probably more flattered than shocked…”

“Mmm, sure thing, kiddo.”

Ryan pulled a face at Jeremy, who ignored him entirely.

“I convinced Prince James to let me take control of a fraction of Colmillo Blanco. It took a lot of resets. I got them to set up the betrayal, helped them find the right explosives and wire it up. Convinced them to convince you to make a deal. Watched you all go up and wipe out Colmillo Blanco, despite the explosives. Spent a hundred resets fighting with Colmillo Blanco against you trying to figure out how you fought, what I could do better.

“Eventually I figured it out. I got all five of you down on the ground in front of me, ready to be executed. Of course, it had been thousands of resets at this point. I was tired. But I couldn’t pull the trigger. Do you want to know why?”

“Why couldn’t you?” Michael asked. The room was dead silent, not even the sound of Ryan’s controller could be heard.

“Because I’d spent thousands of resets watching you. I learned all your inside jokes, all your little quirks, heck, I even figured out how to distinguish Jack and Ryan’s voices from each other over the comms. But really, the thing that got me was your clear and absolute devotion to each other. I’d never seen anything like it before, especially not with anyone associated with Prince James. It wasn’t the thought of doing jobs like this for all eternity for James that made me stop. It was the fact that I couldn’t bear to be the cause of any more of your pain and suffering. You’d rather die than hurt the people you… you care about. And I felt the same way.”

Jeremy sighed. “You can’t imagine the guilt I felt afterwards because of the things I did to you. I must have gone mad for a while, I don’t remember it well, but eventually I reasoned I needed to make it up to you. I had to stop Prince James from trying to kill you, because whenever I failed or refused to, he sent others.”

“The ED-Garde.” Ryan breathed. “That’s why we’re on such a tight schedule.”

Jeremy nodded. “The Prince sent them after you whenever I took too long to kill you. And when they got one of you- which they always did- you’d assume I was part of it and kill me. Or I’d off myself so I could do better next time. I can’t defeat them alone, or without alien enhanced technology. Could I take out the Prince by myself? Probably. But I can’t do that and keep you safe as well unless we do it together. So I started to plan. And here we are.”

“Here we are indeed.” Geoff said.

Michael and Jeremy looked behind them, startled. Geoff and Jack leaned against the doorframe.

“Geoff”- Jeremy’s voice cracked. “Geoff, I’m sorry man”-

-“It’s fine, it’s all fine, Jeremy,” Geoff said, “We know you used to try and kill us.”

“But I didn’t just try. I _did_ ”-

-“ _Jeremy._ ” Jack said. “We’ve known what you did and we’ve moved past that, okay? You need to as well.”

Jeremy shook his head.

“But it keeps happening, every single reset I keep hurting you”-

-“But you’re trying to _help_ us, Jeremy. We’d be dead without your help.”

“But you’re dead with it anyway. And the things I’ve done to you”-

-“We’ve all done awful things, Jeremy.” Michael cut in. “To each other. To people who didn’t deserve it.” Michael could feel the teeth cutting into his hand now, remember how they felt ripping through his neck. “Believe me, we understand.”

“But”-

-“We do, okay? That’s one of the reasons you asked us to help you, wasn’t it?”

Slowly, Jeremy nodded. He seemed to grab ahold of himself and calmed down a little.

“Yes, I’m drunk, I just- thanks. Thank you.”

The room was silent for a moment, and then:

“Hey Lil’ J,” Gavin said, “Got any funny death stories? You’ve heard about ours.”

He paused for a moment, thinking. “I do, actually. Remind me never to go in a chopper with you or Ryan again, Gav.”

“Oh God.” Michael said. “What happened?”

“Gavin, you forget to open your parachute so frequently I refuse to jump out of a helicopter with you again.” Jeremy told them. “I had to completely rework a plan with Geoff- an old plan, I don’t use it anymore- because this idiot fell out of a chopper not once, not three times, but _twice_ into the ocean. Just plain slipped and tumbled out.”

There was a moment of silence before Ryan broke out into his signature light and giddy peals of laughter at the gallows’ humour.

“You haven’t heard the best part yet,” Jeremy continued, “because both times, Ryan was flying the damn thing. He was convinced there was some sort of stealth feature that’ll make it fly faster or something, and he was pressing all the buttons trying to find it. Everyone else had the good sense to hold on to something, except Gavin. Of course I tried to tell him about what happened the time before, but Ryan, you can be a stubborn bitch sometimes.”

The laughing stopped and Ryan threw another pillow, this time at Jeremy, who caught it and threw it back.

“You want to call me a bitch again?” Ryan said, dodging the pillow as well as he could sitting on a couch. “I’ve got three more pillows.”

“I don’t know, are you going to be a bitch again?”

“Don’t make me kill you as soon as I started liking you.”

“Pfft, as if you could kill me. Thousands of resets fighting you with Colmillo Blanco, remember? I could take you any day of the week. Blindfolded, even.”

“Big words from such a little guy. Wanna put your money where your mouth is?”

“Depends, how much money are you fine with losing?”

“Oh no,” Jack said, “No more drunken fights in the living room. We talked about this.”

“Aww,” Gavin groaned. “I would’ve put _at_ _least_ a tenner on Ryan.”

Michael threw some money down on the couch from his wallet. “Three hundred on Jeremy.”

“Make it six.” Geoff said. When Jack shot him a look, he added “No way he’s gonna lose after that little guy comment.”

Jack sighed. “I’ll match you on Ryan then. Because I’m a _supportive_ boyfriend.”

“Make it six ten!” Gavin called out. “I’m gonna grab some more bevs.”

Michael stood up. “And I’ll move the coffee table out of the way.”

“What can we use as a blindfold?”

 

 *******

 

Michael woke up with the barest hint of a hangover. He’d been pretty drunk, but Jack had made him drink some water before he slept. He’d dreamt of boxes and broken fingers, but he’d slept peacefully enough to sleep until morning. Geoff and Ryan were curled up at his side, which was unusual, because it meant Gavin was already up and they were taking his place. He untangled himself from them, careful not to wake them up, and plodded over to the kitchen.

To his mild surprise, Jeremy was already in there and looking through all their cupboards. Gavin sat a few feet away at the kitchen table, helmet on and absorbed deep in whatever images were flicking in front of his eyes.

“Jeremy?” Michael said, and Jeremy startled so hard he shut a cupboard on his thumb. “You looking for something?”

Jeremy shook his thumb around and nodded, wincing all the while. “Been here more times than I can count and I still don’t know where you keep the cooking oil.”

“It’s in the cupboard right in front of you.”

“Of course it is, thanks.” Jeremy pulled a bottle of olive oil out and placed it on the counter. “You guys were so nice to me last night that I decided to make you all fish and chips for breakfast, but I don’t know where anything is in your kitchen.”

“Nice? Yep, Ryan definitely didn’t want to kill you after you made him your bitch.”

“The money was nice, then.”

“Do you mind if I help?”

Jeremy flashed a smile at him. “Not at all.”

 

 *******

 

“This was a mistake.” Jeremy muttered. Michael pushed past him with a tray of sliced onions.

“Look out, man!”

Jeremy moved his head out of the way as the tray swung by overhead. Ryan sidestepped the tray and Michael safely scraped the onions into a frying pan. Ryan pushed a pile of onions off a cutting board and replaced them with a pile of peeled potatoes.

“If I see an onion in my kitchen I will fucking flip out!”

Geoff picked up and tossed two onions at Michael and he caught one in each hand.

“Why are there _two onions_ in my kitchen?!”

Jack came down the external stairs, a watering can in his hand. “ _Your_ kitchen, Ryan?”

“You’re damn right it’s my kitchen. Onions have no place here; I’m a fish and chips man. Can you be a dear and grab a lemon or two from the roof garden?”

Jack saluted and walked back up the stairs.

Geoff pulled some fish out of a frying pan. “I need a plate! Does anyone have a plate?”

“Geoff,” Jeremy pointed, “plate right there. On the left. No, the _left_!”

 

 *******

 

Gavin chewed on an onion ring and nodded.

“I give ‘em… a gold star.”

Michael and Jeremy high-fived.

Jack and Ryan served the fish and chips to the rest of them and they dug in. Michael was well acquainted with Ryan’s frying skills and he had no choice but to agree with Gavin. It was a damn nice breakfast. The onion rings weren’t burnt either.

“So,” Geoff said, “Jeremy.”

“Yo.”

“What’s the game plan for today?”

Jeremy swallowed and licked his lips. Michael’s eyes darted back down to his own meal. “Burnie’s going to call you and tell you he’s found where the last Colmillo Blanco leader is. You thank him and you both grovel and make up, and Burnie agrees to be fucking useful from now on. We go to the warehouse and wipe out the last of Colmillo Blanco.”

“Sounds good.” Geoff said. “Why is it always warehouses though? Why can’t we ever raid, like, a lingerie store?”

“You can bring it up with the Colmillo Blanco guy when you kill him. Except, you won’t. Because it was Prince James that slipped the info to Burnie’s people and left someone else waiting there to ambush us.”

“So,” Jack said, “We’re not dealing with Colmillo Blanco today? Who’d he leave for us?”

Gavin slid his phone across the table and swiped through a few photos. The images were blurry photos of two douchey looking guys talking outside one of Colmillo Blanco safehouses Michael had helped take down a few days ago.

“These are the only images the helmet was able to dig up with Jeremy’s description,” Gavin explained. “The Inconvenience must’ve used the same dang helmet to remove all traces of them.”

“They’re two members of Prince James’s ED-Garde.” Jeremy said. “Nicknamed Clippy and Mr Diddles.”

Michael snorted. “What the fuck kind of nicknames are those?”

“It’s because of the alien tech Prince James gave them.”

“The tech gave them terrible nicknames?”

“Don’t make me do to you what I did to Ryan.”

Michael threw an onion ring at him. The throw was poor and hit a painting on the wall instead.

“Prince James gave them each a suit.” Jeremy explained. “Clippy’s suit lets him move around like the pellets do, like, he can ignore all walls and stuff.”

“Is that why he’s Clippy?” Ryan asked. “Because he can clip through walls?”

“And the ground, and any regular bullets. But no, it’s because his annoying ass will pop out of nowhere whenever you don’t want it to. Like the fucking helper paperclip, you know? Christ, he’s annoying.”

“And Mr Diddles?” Michael said.

“His suit makes him invisible, like what the Corpirate had. We’ve got the x-ray glasses so he won’t be a problem. Also guns won’t turn invisible with him so he has to use this shitty little knife instead.” Jeremy smiled. “What an idiot. But the knife’ll still kill you, so be careful.”

“But why Mr Diddles?”

“He used the suit to perv on people. I’m always so happy to see these two assholes rot in the ground.”

“Something personal,” Jack asked, “Jeremy?”

Jeremy hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “We’ve had a few run-ins in the past. Not any situations I’d like to repeat. They’re quite the duo.”

“How do we beat them?” Geoff said.

“Enough pellets from Zancudo will do the trick. Clippy can’t take the alien guns with him, like Mr Diddles, so he can’t camp below ground and take us all out. I’ll handle Mr Diddles, since he’ll be invisible. I can take him out with the sniper rifle before the fight’s even started ‘cause I know where he’s gonna stand. We have to make the whole thing quick, though, because the police get on us pretty fast. Although…”

Jeremy gave Michael a side eye. “That laser cannon you like to use so much could raze the police headquarters down in an instant, like you did with the place The Inconvenience was hiding in. And Arcadius.”

“Uhhh…” Michael said. “Not quite sure how I feel about that.”

“Oh, come on.” Jeremy said. “They’re cops. This city could use a hell of a lot fewer of them.”

Michael’s eyes flicked to Geoff’s.

Geoff pushed his plate away from himself. “No, Jeremy. We’re not killing any more cops than we have to. They’re just doing their jobs.”

“You’ve never had a problem killing cops before, Geoff.” Jeremy countered. “What about the ones in Rooster Teeth tower that we killed without them knowing we were there? What about all the hired muscle in Arcadius”-

-“That was different and you know it, asshole.” Geoff snapped.

“Besides, Jeremy,” Jack added, “We can’t go around razing every building when there’s people inside we don’t like. There won’t be any buildings left stand”-

-“Jack, shut up.” Geoff said over him. “I have an idea.”

Jack sighed.

“Gavvy,” Geoff said, “That helmet doohickie. Can you use it to fuck with the cops? Hack them? Do a DDoS takedown with their cyber emails and fishing and wooden horses?”

“Jesus Christ, Geoff,” Michael said, shaking his head.

Gavin pursed his lips. “Yes, Geoff. All of the above. Actually, I’ve already been in the police records with the helmet and made some alterations to our criminal records. Just the digital stuff though- can’t touch the paper.”

“Changes like what? Are we law-abiding citizens again?”

“Nah, no one would buy that. I made them heaps worse, added a bunch of extra charges. If we ever get arrested with clearly fake charges then no judge in Los Santos would convict us.”

“Clever. So you can take them out of the fight later today?”

“Yep. I can give us a good hour or so more, I reckon.”

“Oh Geoff,” Jeremy said with a bright smile “It’s shit like this that reminds me why I let you help me. I could kiss you.”

“Could you?”

“Only if your boyfriends promise not to kill me after.” Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows and winked.

“When do we get to start?” Michael asked.

“As soon as Burnie calls Geoff…” Jeremy paused for dramatic effect, “…Now.”

Geoff looked at his phone. Nothing happened.

“…Now.”

The phone continued to not ring.

Michael cast a side eye at Jeremy. Jeremy grimaced.

“If he doesn’t call in the next half hour, give me a yell. Christ, I hate messing with the timeline. Are you all done eating? I’ll wash up.”

 

 *******

 

Eventually Burnie did call, much to everyone’s relief. Geoff gave Burnie a teary little speech while everyone else prepared for the fight and Jeremy prepped them on the two ED-Garde assholes. Michael shepherded them into his car and drove them to the warehouse by the water.

This one was significantly smaller and more rundown than the others, and it was clear to Michael it hadn’t been used in years and the whole thing was obviously a trap. He’d asked Jeremy if Prince James thought they were morons and Jeremy had given him a really vague answer, which made Michael laugh.

Gavin sat on the hood of Michael’s car while the others checked their weapons and body armour. He shooed the rest of them away and Michael flipped him off and started walking.

“We should,” Ryan said, “we should probably look like we’re trying to sneak up on them, right?”

Jeremy nodded. The five of them crouched and began stealthily walking towards the warehouse. Jeremy passed Geoff the pair of x-ray glasses and he put them on, blinking and turning slightly green. Jeremy claimed he didn’t need them- he knew where Mr Diddles would be.

Good Lord, those nicknames were terrible. Ray would have loved them. Michael wondered how he could go about killing them if he couldn’t stop laughing at their stupid names.

“Hey, Jeremy?” Michael whispered. They both lingered at the rear of the group. “If you ever do see him…”

“Who?” Jeremy whispered back. “Ray?”

“Yeah. Tell him we miss him. A lot.”

“Will do.”

Jack pushed a side door open, slowly to avoid creaking, and stepped inside. The others followed. The interior matched the outside, and smelled musty and damp. Shafts of sunlight penetrated deep into the building but wherever they didn’t reach was slimy with old water. Michael wrinkled his nose.

Geoff stiffened for a moment. Michael gave him a concerned look but Geoff shook his head and pointedly looked ahead.

Jeremy lurched his sniper rifle around and fired two shots just over Ryan’s head. He flinched and jumped around, pointing his rifle behind him to mimic Jeremy.

Somebody laughed. Michael didn’t recognise the voice.

“Look at that. Rimmy Tim’s returned to the damn fold.”

“Shut the fuck up, Diddles.” Jeremy replied. “Take Clippy with you and just go. We know he’s here with you.”

Michael performed a slow sweep of the centre room. He could tell the voice was coming from somewhere towards the back wall, but no more detail than that. Apart from the four people with him looking around carefully, the rest of the room was still as stone.

“We know you know,” Mr Diddles said. “Do you think we can’t recognise the x-ray glasses on Ramsey-“

Jeremy fired two more shots and they flew through the far wall and into the ocean beyond.

“Shit.” Jeremy said. “Not good. Not good.”

Uh oh. Michael and Jack fired at the spot near where Jeremy did, but the bullets passed harmlessly through the wall. Shit.

Mr Diddles laughed again. “You were always a _terrible_ sniper, Rimmy. Looks like all those resets haven’t been able to fix that. A shame you’ll never be able to replace Narvaez now-“

Geoff shot him. A spray of blood hit the back wall. Jack and Ryan fired at the same spot but there was no more blood.

“He’s moved behind those boxes,” Geoff said, “We can’t hit him though.”

“Why not?” Michael said, shooting the boxes. Fuck, that guy’s a real prick.

“The boxes are full of bodies,” Geoff replied, grimacing. “Dead Colmillo Blanco members, I think.”

“Oh yeah. Gross.” Michael remembered Jeremy mentioning that now.

“Fuck you!” Mr Diddles screamed. “Ah fuck, my arm! We were talking, idiot!”

Geoff smirked. “I don’t like people talking to my friends like that.”

A hand appeared from beneath the ground and wrapped around Geoff’s ankle. He shrieked and the hand pulled his leg into the ground to his knee. His pistol and the glasses clattered to the ground.

“Shit shit shit!” Jack peppered the ground around him with blue bullets. “It’s the Clippy guy!”

Jeremy picked the x-ray glasses up from where they’d fallen and put them on. “Fuck. He’s retreated, but he’ll come around from the north. Diddles is staying where he is. For now.”

“You’re lucky I’m not over there, Rimmy!” Mr Diddles shouted. “I’d gut you like a fish!”

“You’re lucky I’m a shit sniper! I’m about as good as you are with that micro penis of a knife!”

Michael held on to Geoff just above the knee and pulled. His leg shifted, but didn’t come free.

“This is kinda fucked up.” Michael said.

Geoff nodded and wriggled. “I’m adding this to my list of fears.”

Ryan pulled the pin on a grenade and lobbed it over to the boxes. “Idea. Can’t hide behind boxes if there aren’t any boxes.”

The explosion rocked the warehouse, and the air filled with a fine red mist that made Michael want to throw up. Everyone shut their eyes and turned away from the debris.

With the distraction, a body came through the wall and punched Jeremy in the face. Before he could recover, arms dragged him half into the wall and left him there.

“Ow, fuck,” Jeremy groaned.

“I can’t shoot Clippy.” Jack said. “He’s hiding behind Jeremy. Like a bitch, I’m adding!”

Ryan shot at the spot Mr Diddles had hidden, but the sound of his laughter moved to the right.

“Mmmm, Rimmy, you were ready for us but not _that_ ready,” Mr Diddles teased. “All those other stunts looked well practiced, but you’ve really fallen apart here. Prince James is _very_ interested in what you’ve been up to.”

“How do you know this isn’t all part of my cunning plan?” Jeremy shouted, coughing a little.

“Because you’re full of something, and it isn’t cunning. Prince James is curious about how you conned the Fakes into helping you. When we bring you to him I’m sure you’ll tell him _all_ about it.”

“Eat my horse cock.” Jeremy retorted.

“A shame he’s not so interested in your new friends. Or maybe not, depending on what Prince James does to you for turning on us.”

“Stay with Geoff, Michael.” Jack said. “He can’t move to cover”-

Clippy kicked Jeremy out of the wall and into Jack, and they both hit the floor. Ryan shot at him but he fell through the floor an instant before the blue bullets hit. Clippy came up with a Colmillo Blanco body in tow and heaved it towards Ryan.

“Awww, come on,” Ryan grunted.

Ryan stopped shooting long enough to roll out of the way, giving Clippy enough time to reach him and tackle him to the ground. Too close to use the rifle, Ryan smacked him in the eye with the rifle stock and Clippy grunted in pain. Clippy grabbed Ryan’s hand and forced it through the floor, trapping it there.

The glasses were ripped from Jeremy’s head by an unseen force and hovered in the air. Jack freed himself from under Jeremy and fired skywards towards them, the bullets passing harmlessly through the ceiling. The glasses dropped to the floor and Jeremy and Jack hastily retreated from the spot, wary of the invisible knife, and stood in the middle of a pool of dirty water.

“Watch the ground.” Jeremy muttered to Jack. “look for ripples. He can’t get to us without us knowing.”

Clippy’s hands pried Ryan’s free hand away from his rifle, turned it around, and pointed it at him. There was a bang, and Clippy fell forwards and on top of Ryan.

Michael swivelled the barrel of his alien machine gun away from Clippy’s bleeding corpse and towards Jeremy and Jack.

“Alright, Diddles,” Michael called out, “you piece of shit. Clippy’s dead.” He stepped towards the x-ray glasses, scanning the ground in front of him for any sign of movement. “We’ll make it quick if you-“

A force kicked his legs out from behind him. Michael fell backwards and an arm wrapped around his throat and hauled him off balance. Michael thrashed tried to point his gun behind him but he couldn’t shoot what he couldn’t see.

“Michael!” Jeremy yelled.

Michael froze when he felt something sharp dig into his neck, enough to send blood running down into his jacket.

“No, _you_ listen, you piece of rotten garbage,” Mr Diddles said, close to his right ear. “Drop the gun.”

Michael dropped his gun.

“Here’s what going to happen,” Mr Diddles explained, swinging around left and right. Michael was sure it made an obscene sight from a different perspective- it would have looked like he’d been possessed. “Everyone, drop your weapons.”

Jack and Ryan complied, dropping their alien weapons but they shot the air around Michael murderous looks. Jeremy and Geoff had already dropped theirs earlier.

“Either I’m taking my hostage with me, or I’m taking Rimmy with me. What’s it going to be, Ramsey?”

Geoff shook his head. “You can’t have either, dipshit. They’re _mine_.”

Mr Diddles scoffed, now in Michael’s left ear. “Really? You honestly believe Rimmy’s not going to leave you in the dust after he gets the device from Prince James? Which isn’t going to happen, Tim. You’re stuck until you off this lot. It doesn’t matter how deranged you get in the meantime. You always come crawling back to Prince James. Always have, always will.”

Jeremy glowered. The alien knife dug deeper into Michael’s neck. He winced, feeling fresh blood soak down into his shirt. The expression on Jeremy’s face changed from fury to fear.

“No wonder Prince James tested the device out on you,” Mr Diddles continued. “It was broken. Defective. Useless until Prince James gave it a purpose-“

Mr Diddles flickered into existence. He froze, mouth open. There was a deafening crack, and Michael felt more warm blood run down him and the weight from behind dropped away.

Michael turned around to see the body of Mr Diddles hit the floor like a sack of meat, a hole between his shoulder blades. Geoff mimed blowing smoke away from the muzzle of his Glock.

“You brought a regular gun?” Michael said. “Against two guys with suits of alien armour?”

“Have you ever seen me without my Glock? Besides, look at him. He’s wearing the invisibility thingy like a towel. Whole back exposed. Easy shot, once I could see him.”

Gavin’s voice came through the comms. “Mr Diddle’s suit should be down now!”

Geoff pressed a button on his earpiece. “It is. We got him, Gavin. Fantastic timing with the helmet there. Clippy’s down as well.”

“Top. I’ll be right over.”

Michael sagged, and Jack ran over to support him. Blood was pouring quite liberally from his neck, and Jack pulled out a pocket first aid kit and set to work.

“I’m fine, Jack,” Michael said, “shock just hit me.”

“Uhhhh, guys?” Ryan said, from the floor. “Can someone help me up? I seem to be stuck in the ground.” Ryan was awkwardly on his back, one hand and both his feet embedded in the floor.

“Yeah,” Geoff said, “please don’t let this turn into one of those movies where the guy has to cut a limb off to escape.”

“Oh God, please no.”

“It’s fine, Gavin can control Clippy’s suit with the helmet.” Jeremy explained. “Lemme give you a hand.”

He laid one of Clippy’s hands over Geoff’s leg and directed Gavin’s control of the suit. His leg came up soon after and in the time it took Jack to disinfect and dress Michael’s neck wound, Jeremy had rescued Ryan’s hand and both of his trapped feet.

Geoff shook his leg to try and regain some feeling in it. “So is part of the floor in my leg now? Am I part floor?”

Jeremy shook his head. “Look, the floor’s completely smooth again. You two just… coexisted for a while.”

“I feel violated.”

“That’s normal.”

Ryan flexed his fingers and gave Jeremy a once over with his other hand. “You alright?”

“I’ve had worse.” Jeremy gestured to his bandaged arm. “You’re gonna have a nasty bruise though.”

Ryan shrugged. “I’ve had worse.” He winked.

“ _Michael!_ ” Gavin yelled from the doorway.

“M’fine, Gavvy, most of this isn’t even my blood-“

Gavin tackled him into a bear hug. Michael returned the gesture and relaxed a little.

“Ewwwew oh _gross_ ”- Gavin retched and pulled away, hands dripping with bodily fluids and chunks of flesh. “I stuck my hands right in there!”

Michael flicked some blood off his hands and a few drops landed on Gavin’s shirt before he could dart away. “Michael why? Michael, how rude. How dare you, Michael.”

“ _How dare you, Michael_.” Michael mocked, a grin spreading across his face.

Geoff picked up Mr Diddles discarded knife and handed it to Ryan. “You might like this.”

The blade was a nice length, about seven inches, despite Jeremy’s insults earlier. It looked sharp, and it was accompanied by a faint cyan glow. Ryan tested the weight by balancing it on his finger, and nodded.

“It’s a good blade. This will make a fine addition to my collection.”

Jack snorted. “Sure, General Grievous.”

“Nerd.”

Jeremy hauled Mr Diddles body up and over his shoulder.

“We need to get going soon. I’d like to be out of the area before the police come, even if Gavin bought us more time. We’ll drop this guy off at Gus’s so he can learn about the suit, and then we’ll head home.”

“Better idea,” Geoff said, “We give the suit to Burnie so Gus doesn’t become a force of unstoppable evil with invisibility powers. What about Clippy’s suit? Were you going to leave it here?”

“It only operates now with the helmet since Michael shot the headwear, so it’s not much use to us. I say dump the body in the ocean and burn this miserable place to the ground, and I like the thought of giving the invisibility suit to Burnie.”

Jeremy quietened for a moment. “And, uh, thanks for not giving me to Mr Diddles. It’s never ended that way before-“

Geoff waved a hand at him until he stopped talking. “You would’ve done the same, Lil’ J. It would have been kind of rude to do that to the guy who made me breakfast this morning. Besides, Michael and Gavin made you an official Lad yesterday, it looked like.”

Jeremy flushed a little. “Still, thanks.” He looked at his watch- Geoff’s watch- and attracted everyone’s attention. “So we’re a little behind schedule now, but once we dump the body and burn this shithole down, we’ll still have plenty of time to get everything else done we need to do today. It’s only mid-afternoon, after all.”

“Like what?” Jack asked.

“All the usual set-up stuff and the like.  We’ve handled pretty much everything Prince James has been able to throw at us, dealt with his allies in the form of Colmillo Blanco, and taken out two of his ED-Garde. Tonight’s the night we finally deal with all this at the source. We end Prince James once and for all.”


	8. We Get It, He's Short Part 1

_“Where are you going to go?” Michael asked, his voice icy._

_Ray shrugged._

_“I’ll stay in Los Santos. This is my city. Always will be.”_

_“Not going to travel? See Liberty City, or hell, go back to the mainland?”_

_Ray shrugged. “I want to start building a name for myself here.”_

_“It’s dangerous. By yourself.”_

_Ray shrugged again. “I’ll manage.”_

_Michael shook his head. Ray stared at him._

_They met in the middle, suitcase abandoned and icy demeanour dropped in an instant._

_Michael kissed him with all the heat and strength he’s known for. Ray kissed him back, just as forcefully, and with just as much emotion and ferocity, strengthened by the knowledge it was the last time._

_“When we made that first pact to work together,” Michael said once they broke apart, breathing heavily, “we knew how it would end. One or both of us dead.”_

_“Nope.” Ray said, shaking his head. “It was both or neither. And that’s the way it is now, too.” Ray glanced around the room._

_There was so much love, here. Enough for every lifetime they were going to have._

_“It was either gonna be all of us or none of us. And I chose none.”_

_Ray picked up the suitcase and trundled over to the front door. Before he crossed the threshold, he turned around._

 

*******

 

Using the helmet, Gavin decided, was a great deal more difficult than the neural interface in the spaceship at Zancudo. The damage slowed the mechanics down enough for Gavin to gain some modicum of control over the craft, but the helmet was in mint condition. It worked faster than Gavin could _think_.

Using the helmet was taxing in way he couldn’t quite put into words yet. It was like an extension of his brain, but too much. Every single thought that flew through his head displayed in front of him in a never ending train of information, which the helmet could then expand on in a massive display of data. It was easy to focus on one thing in a fight, but once you let your mind wander it becomes a nightmare. There must be a pattern to it, some logical way to organise and project his ideas inside the helmet, but he felt his brain wasn’t equipped to understand how.

The scene in the old warehouse by the water circled around in front of his eyes, a thought Gavin couldn’t push away. A thousand different viewpoints hit him and Gavin watched them all at once. Michael standing stock-still with Mr Diddles’ knife to his throat, Geoff slowly pulling his Glock out of his waistband, Jack and Jeremy watching on while Mr Diddles taunted Jeremy. He couldn’t get the scene out of his head and the images in the helmet reflected that.

_You always come crawling back to Prince James. Always have, always will._ That’s what Mr Diddles said about Jeremy. Those two members of the ED-Garde, and presumably the rest of them, knew about the device and how it was used on Jeremy. They _teased_ him about it. So they knew a little, but not enough to know the device sent Jeremy to a different universe each time. That Jeremy would return to a different Prince James.

If the ED-Garde, and Prince James, knew that Jeremy was skipping universes each time he made a mistake, Gavin didn’t think Prince James would have sent him on his mission in the first place. It’d be a useless endeavour for his original universe.

Why send Jeremy after them at all, when the ED-Garde were so much more competent and fluent with their chosen alien technology?

Here’s another question: Why did it take so long for Prince James to figure out Jeremy had betrayed him and send his ED-Garde after them? How in the hell did Prince James not think Jeremy was going to betray him, after torturing him and decided to send his ED-Garde after him if he didn’t kill the Fakes fast enough?

_You always come crawling back to Prince James. Always have, always will._ The helmet flashed snippets of previous conversations in front of his eyes, making Gavin blink and recoil.

_And one day I had all of you in front of me, broken, and all I had to do was pull the trigger. But I didn’t._

_At least you’re all alive, and that’s my main priority._

_The thing that got me was your clear and absolute devotion to each other. I’d never seen anything like it before, especially not with anyone associated with Prince James._

The helmet was trying to tell him something, Gavin suspected. But he knew if he wanted answers, he’d have to wait for Jeremy to tell him. The helmet was just too complicated and messy.

 “Gavvy?” Michael said. “Did you hear any of that?”

“What? No. Are we having a little talk?” Gavin took the helmet off and glanced around the room in Burnie’s hideout. The annoyed faces of his four boyfriends and several high-ups at Rooster Teeth stared back at him.

“Christ,” Burnie said, “did you really hear none of that?”

“Well excuse you,” Gavin said, “I’m a little busy handling the most complex piece of technology on the face of the earth. Kinda makes it hard to multitask.”

“If only that helmet could alien-tech you up a better attention span.”

“You know this helmet knows everything, right? I’m going to put your first attempts at sexting on Twitter.”

Gavin had never seen a man go so pale so quickly.

“Look,” Geoff tapped the whiteboard with a marker, “I think we’ve worked out a couple of kinks in Jeremy’s plan.”

“ _Your_ plan,” Jack added. Geoff tapped the marker thoughtfully on his nose.

“I guess so. This is my plan, and we’ll need to bring it to Jeremy instead of the other way around. Ah, it’s nice being back in charge.” Geoff threw the marker in the air, fumbled the catch, and kicked the dropped pen under the coffee table with a final flourish of incompetence. Michael raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at Geoff, who pointedly ignored him. “Meeting adjourned. Jack and Trevor, can you make sure the rest of the crew is on schedule? Everyone else, I don’t care. Psych yourselves up.”

Jack and Trevor nodded and left the room. Gavin ran the highlights of the conversation back at triple speed. His eyes flicked back and fourth behind the screen and Michael frowned at him.

“Take that thing off.” Michael tutted and removed the helmet. Gavin blinked up at him, suddenly feeling slow and sluggish. “Do you need me to go over the plan again for you?”

Gavin shook his head. “Nah, the helmet sorted me out.”

“You wear that thing a lot.”

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s like using a hundred computers at once. Except it doesn’t have much on Prince James or his ED-Garde, which pisses me off. Jeremy’s told us more about them than the helmet can. Not much on Jeremy that we don’t already know either.”

Michael placed the helmet on the couch seat next to Gavin. “I know you’re gonna have to wear it for this final bit but you can give it a rest for now. Why don’t you come check out Burnie’s vehicles with us?”

Gavin nodded and let Michael lead him to the garage while Geoff picked up and fiddled with the helmet. Burnie’s hideout garage was pretty expansive, with enough room for half a dozen vehicles. Half the space was taken up by Mica’s and Lindsay’s cars, as well as Burnie’s prized Tesla, but Gavin was more interested in the other half.

Sitting before them were three HVY Insurgents, armoured up to the gills and sporting three back-mounted turret guns. Jeremy fed rounds into one of the turret guns, his tongue sticking out a little as he concentrated. He heard them enter and looked up and smiled.

“How the turntables, am I right?”

“What?” Michael said.

“You know. The Insurgent at Zancudo that caused problems for you?”

“I don’t fucking remember. That was like, two years ago.”

“It was nine months”-

-“Yeah, like two years. Do we get to take all three of these?”

Jeremy nodded. “Oh yes. Thankfully Alfredo was able to stop the LAPD from seizing these after the Rooster Teeth Tower raid. Thanks, man.”

Jeremy nodded at Alfredo, who raised a hand in acknowledgement from the rear of another Insurgent.

Gavin stepped out of the way as Ryan and Matt walked past him into the garage and proceeded to fill the Insurgents with body armour and spare ammunition.

“Are we going to need all these rounds?” Gavin asked. “Won’t we be using the alien weaponry?”

“The Colmillo Blanco guys we care about are holed up with Prince James in the south Templar Hotel building,” Ryan said, “they don’t have any fancy armour, Jeremy said. May as well use the weapons we’re best at while we can.”

“We’ll still have enough bullets,” Matt said to Gavin, “any Colmillo Blanco bitches Prince James sends after the rest of us will be in for a surprising surprise.”

“I wonder why Colmillo Blanco is still listening to Prince James,” Gavin mused, “even after his decisions have led them to ruin.”

Ryan heaved a crate of body armour inside one of the Insurgents. His shirt was riding up a little and a few beads of sweat lined his brow. He caught Gavin staring at him and smirked a little. “They probably don’t have anywhere else to go, not after we killed two of their three leaders. If their last one is still supporting Prince James, her lackeys aren’t really going to have a choice.” Ryan made a show of lifting another box inside the vehicle. “I’ll bet quite a few of them would have deserted by now though as well.”

“Burnie can deal with them after tonight.” Jeremy said. “We’ll handle Prince James, Burnie and Rooster Teeth can deal with the members of Colmillo Blanco not with James. That’s what he wanted, anyway.”

“Why can’t we find them with the helmet?” Gavin asked. While Prince James and his ED-Garde were hard to find with it, Gavin had no problem with Colmillo Blanco.

“They’ll come here and to the other safehouses as we fight,” Jeremy said dismissively. “After all, Prince James knows where all our little hidey-holes are thanks to The Inconvenience’s time with the helmet. Matt, Alfredo. Do you have everything you’ll need when Colmillo Blanco comes for you?”

“We’re ready.” Alfredo said. “Don’t know where we’d be without everything you said.”

“I’m just happy Burnie’s willing to listen to anything I’ve said. I’m _ninety_ percent sure all of the Colmillo Blanco dudes will turn up to the locations I said. But you’ve posted people at the other locations too?”

“I said we were ready, didn’t I?”

“I- yeah, yeah. Just want to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Everything needs to go _perfectly_ tonight.”

Jeremy heaved a deep breath, excused himself, and walked briskly out of the garage.

Gavin tapped on Michael’s shoulder. “We should probably go after him.”

Michael nodded. “He’d always been pretty calm with everything before this, up until Zancudo I’d say. Do you think he’s freaking out about the plan? We should straighten him out.”

“God I hope not,” Gavin muttered. Michael snickered, and Gavin continued, “I think it’s a control thing. He’s been the one in charge of his own destiny, right? Now he just has to watch this last part play out and see if all his hard work will pay off.”

“He’d better do more than just watch.”

“I hope so.”

“…But he can watch us do other things.”

“Michael, you kinky bastard.”

“You love it.”

“You know I do.”

It took them about ten minutes to find Jeremy. Burnie’s hideout had a raised wraparound balcony and Jeremy sat with his back against the supports, out of sight of anyone inside the house. Michael called out to Gavin one he’d found him, and when Jeremy didn’t protest they sat down on either side of him.

“This is cosy,” Gavin said, looking out over the front yard, “but my favourite place to brood is on the roof. Better view. Fewer creepy crawlies.”

“I can see enough.” Jeremy replied. The front yard sloped gently down into a valley and beyond that, the City of Los Santos sat sparkling like a jewel. The afternoon sun dyed the glass skyscrapers a gradient of pink and orange and polished cars shone in between the buildings like glowing ants in their neat little rows.

If there was a more beautiful city somewhere else in the world, Gavin didn’t want to hear about it.

“Besides,” Jeremy continued, “I’m not big on heights.”

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Really, Lil’J? Even if falling and dying isn’t really an issue for you?”

“Phobias are rarely logical. And my death would be an issue for you, I think.”

“Just would have thought, after all this time-“

“-And yet it remains.” Jeremy said quickly. ”I’m solving one issue at a time, thank you very much. Starting with the biggest.”

“Jeremy-“ Michael started.

“I know, I know.” Jeremy said. “I need to stop freaking out. But gee, if only it was that easy! Boy howdy!”

Gavin let his hand rest on Jeremy’s shoulder and trail down his arm. “Have you seen a more beautiful city? I can never get over it.”

“Not yet.” Jeremy replied. “I want to travel someday, but not until…”

“Not until we’re safe?”

“Something like that.” Jeremy nodded. He stared out over the city. “For the longest time, I’ve just wanted you lot to be happy. That’s it.”

“That’s fair.” Michael said. “I’ve wanted us all to be safe and happy too. All of us.”

Jeremy nodded again, and they lapsed into silence.

“That’s why,” Michael said, “I want you to officially join the Lad’s roster. Once and for all. In this life and the next.”

“Michael,” Gavin said, “It’s not going to come to that.”

“I’m just being prepared. That’s what a good leader does for his crewmates.”

Jeremy stared at him with wide eyes. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course I fucking mean that. Geoff talked it over with Gavin and the others and then he brought it over to me. We’re all in agreement. We want you with us, for as long as you’re willing.”

“But are you”-

-“Yes I’m fucking sure. We were going to wait until after we dealt with Prince James, but you deserve to know now. Especially since you seem to be freaking the hell out and none of us know what to do about that.”

Jeremy raised a shaking hand to his eyes. “I’m not used to freaking the hell out, so I dunno either. But yeah. Yes. I want to be a Lad.”

“You’re saying yes? You want this?”

“More than anything else in the multiverse.”

Michael gave him a soft smile. “Welcome aboard, then.”

The two shook hands but then Jeremy shook his head and pulled Michael into a hug.

“I… you’ve never done this for me before.  Do you _really_ mean”-

-“Yes, God, I do. I even mean it across all the other universes and stuff. Although if you ever go to any of those, good luck convincing me of that.”

“Well…” Jeremy said. “I managed to convince you all to help me out after I make you play Uno for three hours. And after I sent Colmillo Blanco to ambush you with the dinghy and all that. Just tell me something you haven’t told anyone else before and you’ll believe me.”

“I can do one better. How about a story I’ve only told Ray and Gavin and not the Gents? That makes it like a Lad thing, so you can’t go up to me and say “Hey Michael, your favourite colour is brown, now give me your bank account details, or something like that.” So anyway, I broke into this old lady’s house and I really needed to take a dump”-

-“Oh no.” Gavin said. “This is the poo punching story, isn’t it?”

“Oh yes it is.” Michael replied with an evil grin. Gavin gagged and coughed. “So I went into her basement and I just like _destroyed_ it…”

 

 *******

 

“So in six years time, I have to find that guy and a porta-potty and let him blow me.” Gavin finished.

Jeremy snorted and hid his smile behind a hand.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you were ever that polite! It’s so British of you.”

Gavin pulled a face. “I’m still polite!”

“Absolutely not. You’re such an annoying prick, I got into the habit of just sighing whenever I saw you out of reflex. I hated your guts.”

They were sitting much closer than they were ten minutes ago. Jeremy had calmed down considerably and the shake in his hands had disappeared. Their knees touched, and Gavin could feel Jeremy’s even breathing moving his hair.

“You don’t still hate me, do you Lil’ J?” Gavin asked coyly.

“Of course not.”

Gavin’s hand wormed its way out from between them and ghosted past Jeremy’s hip and thigh to rest on his knee. Jeremy’s breath hitched.

Gavin saw Michael’s arm snake around Jeremy’s waist.

“Is this fine?”  Gavin asked, holding his hand still. “You don’t need to say yes to keep being a Lad, but the whole crew, we just thought… is this okay?”

Jeremy’s eyes met Gavin’s. He nodded. His hand reached out and covered Gavin’s. His fingers trailed up Gavin’s wrist, his forearm, his shoulder, and came to rest caressing Gavin’s neck.

“Of course.” Jeremy said. “I”-

Geoff let out a bloodcurdling scream.

The soft look on Jeremy’s face changed to one of pure fear, and he stood up faster than Gavin would have suspected possible.

“Geoff!” Jeremy shouted.

“Geoff?” Gavin and Michael called with him.

“Gavin!” Ryan’s voice carried outside. “Get in here, will you?”

They rushed back inside to find Ryan and Jack hovering around a hunched over Geoff. He pulled the helmet off his face and sighed in relief.

“Jesus Christ,” Geoff said, “Gavin, your helmet tried to eat me!”

“You alright?” Gavin asked. Geoff shoved the helmet into his hands.

“My fucking ears and nose hurt like hell!” Geoff’s hands went to his ears. Jack pulled them away and tilted his head around to look for damage.

“Nothings bleeding,” Jack tutted, “but I told you not to put it on.”

“I know, I know. But I didn’t do anything! It just did it by itself!”

“Jeremy,” Jack asked, “is that helmet alive somehow?”

“Dunno. But it doesn’t do things by itself, that’s not how alien tech’s ever worked before.”

Gavin put the helmet on. A thousand images streamed past him until one settled in front of his eyes- one of himself, over nine months before, the last time he held the device as it buzzed and flashed a bright red light.

Gavin sent the image away and focused his thoughts on Geoff wearing the helmet. His eyes lit up.

“It scanned his brain!” Gavin exclaimed. “I’m looking at Geoff’s brain right now!”

“How big is it?” Geoff asked.

“I don’t know, brain sized? Half a loaf of bread?”

“Geoff come on,” Jeremy said, “it’s all about how you use it.”

“Are your ears still hurting?” Ryan asked.

Geoff shook his head. “It passed. But Christ, I feel kind of violated.”

Ryan made grabby hands at Gavin. “Give it here. I wanna try.”

“No!” Gavin held his hands protectively over the helmet. “What if it hurts you?”

“Geoff’s a big baby, and you and Jeremy have been using it all the time with no problem. I want to see what my brain looks like!”

Matt awkwardly knocked on the doorframe.

“…I’m going to assume that sounded better with context.”

“Not really.” Michael said.

“I know better by now than to ask any questions. Just wanted to say the cars are ready to leave when you are. Is Jeremy caught up with the plan changes?”

Jeremy shook his head. “No, Jeremy is not. What have you changed?”

Geoff pressed at his ear. “Burnie’s people aren’t going to pretend to be unaware when Prince James sends Colmillo Blanco after them. They’ll figure it out too quickly for it to be effective and this way we can get into more defendable positions. More of Burnie’s people have headed to key locations to cut Colmillo Blanco off when they try to run, and I’ll tell you where they are on the way. This way we won’t have to hunt them all down after.”

“After.” Jeremy breathed. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, that makes more sense. Damnit, why couldn’t I have thought of that?”

“That’s why you’ve got me,” Geoff smirked, “except now that you’ve joined the crew, I’ve got you as well. We’ve got each other like some big old happy family.”

“Naww…” Jack said and wrapped his arms around Jeremy and Geoff.

Burnie raised an eyebrow. “You let him join your crew?”

“Of course I did,” Geoff said, “look at all the shit he’s done for us. And Michael actually asked you to join the crew, Jeremy, didn’t he? After he made you a Lad?”

“Yep, he did. And I said yes.” Jeremy said while Michael nodded.

“Good. I was wondering what y’all were doing out the front, probably making out or something.” Geoff’s smirk evolved into a full-blown grin.

Jeremy flushed bright red. “Would you look at that? It’s time to go! I’m getting in the Insurgent now!”

 

*******

 

After a few goodbyes and final preparations, three Insurgents drove through south Los Santos, near Vinewood, towards the city proper. By the time they left it was late in the evening and their surroundings looked more like silhouettes against a pastel backdrop than physical objects. Gavin tapped his foot impatiently against the supervisor’s box that held the helmet, the urban sprawl transforming into a cityscape at an impossibly slow pace.

Ryan reached back and gave his knee a squeeze, able to tell he was almost bouncing off the walls without taking his eyes off the road.

“Only a couple of minutes left.” Ryan reminded him. “Can you promise not to vibrate out of existence until then?”

Gavin looked at him through lidded eyes. “What can you offer me in exchange for that promise?”

Ryan caught his gaze in the rear view mirror. He swerved suddenly and there was a bump and a strangled cry from outside the Insurgent.

“I can offer a bunch of dead motorcyclists from here to Templar Hotel.”

Gavin shrugged and climbed over the centre console into the passenger seat.

“What the hell, what are you doing?” Ryan said after Gavin almost kicked him in the head.

“Getting a better view.” Gavin replied. “Look, there’s one!”

Ryan swerved once more and managed to catch the motorcyclist’s rear tyre and he spun out and slid off the road.

“If Team Love and Stuff can hold it together for about three more turns,” Jeremy’s voice came through the comms, “we can make it to Prince James without the police on our tails.”

“Aww, Lil’ J,” Gavin complained, “We’re just having a spot of fun. If the police get on us, I can just use the helmet on them a few minutes early!”

“ _No_!” Jeremy snapped, then calmed down. “I cannot stress enough how badly this needs to all go by the book. We might need those few minutes later, okay?”

“Alright, fine.”

“…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“We get it, Lil” J,” Ryan said. “You’re under a lot of stress right now”-

-“But so are you!”

“The circle, Jeremy.” Geoff cut in. “Trust the big stupid circle.”

“The fuck?” Ryan said. “What circle?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

The rest of the drive was somewhat muted, with talk over the comms minimised. The southern building of Templar Hotel emerged from behind another building, and the three Insurgents parked about a block away and watched from afar.

“I can’t see any snipers.” Jack told them over the comms. “Seems Prince James is lacking a fundamental defence feature.”

“That’s because we already killed all the good ones.” Jeremy said. “Colmillo Blanco’s top pair of ‘em were at the ranch when Michael blew it up, and none of the ED-Garde are particularly good snipers. James sent most of Colmillo Blanco after us about,” Jeremy paused, presumably glancing at Geoff’s watch, “half an hour ago. There’s a skeleton crew here right now and… The Prince’s ED-Garde. That’s it.”

“We’re ready for them.” Michael said. “And this time, they’re not ready for us. When can we go in?”

Jeremy said nothing for about twenty seconds. “…Now. Gun it!”

The three Insurgents roared towards the hotel. Gavin clambered into the gunner’s seat, fighting the wind, and let loose with the minigun.

The hotel’s front lounge hosted about ten security personnel standing around looking menacing, and they were obliterated in four seconds flat. Gavin dropped down from the gunner’s seat just as Ryan pulled up to the front entrance, glass crackling and crunching under the wheels. There was shouting and more bullets fired, but Gavin wasn’t really paying attention anymore, his hands opening the supervisor’s storage box and pulling out the helmet.

“Element of surprise, used.” Gavin said over the comms. The helmet came to life in front of his eyes. “Police are… stopped, for now.”

“Come on,” Geoff said, “everyone inside.”

“The Prince knows we’re here now,” Ryan asked, “right?”

“He will in a couple of minutes when he checks his equipment,” Jeremy answers, “long enough for us to reach him unawares.”

“Reach him unawares.” Gavin could envision Jack shaking his head as he spoke. “Who says that?”

“I do,” Jeremy replied, “bitch.”

Gavin reached out with the helmet and focused on finding and neutralising the remaining members of the Prince’s ED-Garde. The helmet’s display flashed in front of his eyes faster than he could blink, throwing data at him and he squinted through it, trying to find something useful.

“I’ve got them, I think,” Gavin spoke over the comms, “They’re in here somewhere. Now I just need a few minutes to…”

Gavin trailed off as he grew distracted by his own thoughts. He was vaguely aware of someone grabbing his hand and leading him from the Insurgent, but most of his attention was focused on shutting down the equipment of the remaining Ed-Garde members.

Burnie told them there were six of them, but Gavin could only detect three. With the two they took out earlier, what happened to the sixth?

“Alright, alright!” A feminine voice called out. “I give up, or whatever.”

The space around him grew quiet and Gavin blinked behind the visor of the helmet. The shooting had stopped.

“Sienna,” Geoff said, “If you put your gun down and hands up, we’ll turn you over to the police instead of killing you. Sound fair?”

“Yeah, look, I just want to go home, okay?” Sienna said. “Eventually. At least.”

A rifle slid across the floor from behind the main the desk. Shortly after, a pair of hands elevated themselves from below the desk.

“We all do,” Geoff said, and kicked the gun towards Michael. “Okay, you can come out now. It’s fine, I promise.”

A head joined the hands, and slowly Sienna got to her feet and walked towards them.

“Please don’t shoot me.”

“We’re not gonna shoot you,” Geoff said, “just sit in the corner there out of our way and we’ll ignore you.”

“Got it.”

“But we absolutely will shoot you if we have to.” Ryan pointed his gun menacingly at her. “So no more evil, okay?”

Sienna snorted. “Says you.”

“Says me. I have not done a single evil thing, as far as my moral code is concerned.”

A bright red light of alarm filled Gavin’s vision.

“Uh, guys?” Gavin called out. “I think”-

Something flashed through the room, through everybody in it, and Gavin’s body went inexplicably numb.

The feeling vanished a second later and was replaced with pins and needles, all over his body. Gavin found himself on the floor, gasping, and the movement of his mouth made him flinch and hold still.

“Ow, what the fuck?” Geoff said, also on the floor.

“One of the ED-Garde,” Jeremy supplied, breathing heavily but upright. “but we should’ve met them on the stairs.”

“And yet,” Michael said, stowing his rifle and pulling out his alien shotgun. “Their alien magic bullshit made my balls go all tingly, so they have to die.”

Gavin slowly crawled to his feet and shook out his arms and legs, muttering at the helmet. “Bit more warning next time wouldn’t hurt, would it.”

Jack crouched down next to the main desk. “Jeremy. Time for the alien guns?”

“Yep.” Jeremy put on the x-ray glasses and scanned around him.

Another red flash of warning flew in front of Gavin’s eyes.

“Watch out!” Gavin shouted, and braced himself. Ryan angled his body in front of Gavin and held a supporting hand on his shoulder.

Nothing happened.

“Um”- Michael said, looking around, and then a second wave of numbness hit and Gavin fell against Ryan.

“Oh, very funny,” Gavin spluttered, “I get exactly what I ask for don’t I?”

A hail of blue pellets tore through the ceiling and rained down over them.

“Fuck! Shit!” Geoff said, and skirted away from where the pellets were most concentrated. “Keep moving, keep moving!”

Michael aimed his alien shotgun at the ceiling and fired back blind, laying down supressing fire.

“Awww,” Jack said, “I’m hit, I’m hit.” He held a hand over his left ear. Blood poured liberally from between his fingers.

“Jack!” Geoff ran over to him.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, just my ear, not my head.”

Michael paused to reload and looked over to Jack. In the brief respite more gunfire rained down from the ceiling.

A blue pellet whizzed past entirely too close to Gavin’s face and he tried to flinch back, but it was too late. The pellet tore through the clear front of the helmet and ripped a gash through the material. The edges cracked and fell away, one cutting into his eyebrow, Gavin felt, and the display flickered and died. The tip of his nose throbbed with heat from the pellet’s proximity and Gavin dully ran his hand over it.

Ryan yanked him down and all but dragged him towards the entrance. Michael started firing again at the ceiling.

“Gavin, can you hear me?” Ryan reached through the shattered material to caress Gavin’s cheek. “Are you hurt?”

Gavin shook his head sligtly. “Missed me, nicked the helmet. I lost the display. Ryan, I lost the display”-

-“I don’t care about the damned helmet.” Ryan threw a look at Jeremy. “Jeremy”-

Jeremy was bone-white. He stared at Gavin with wide eyes, seemingly deaf to Ryan.

“Leave. We need to leave. Now!” Geoff shouted, and helped Jack to his feet. “Go! Get back to the Insurgents!”

Jeremy’s eyes snapped back to Geoff and Jack and he came back to himself.

“We _can’t_ , Geoff. We have to”-

-“You can walk or I can drag you, Jeremy, but _we are going back to the Insurgents to regroup_.”

“Right, okay, got it.” Jeremy said, and added his firepower to Michael’s. Together they covered the remaining four until they could get back to the Insurgents. Geoff ordered Michael to go with Gavin and Ryan while Jeremy stayed with him and Jack in the second Insurgent. Geoff and Ryan peeled away, tyres flinging glass and gravel back inside the ruined entrance, and headed towards the nearest main road.

“Stay close to me, Ryan.” Geoff said over the comms. “If they follow, we’ll lose them in the traffic and then we’ll meet back up with Burnie”-

-“That won’t work, Geoff.” Jeremy said.

“Why not?”

“Because they can track the helmet!”

“Then put it back in the box, Gavin!”

“Wait a sec, wait a sec,” Gavin said. “I’ve almost…” He smacked the side of the helmet and screwed his eyes shut.

The helmet flickered back to life, the lights and symbols appearing on every reflecting surface. Gavin glanced in a rear view mirror and saw his vital signs, the current speed of the Insurgent, and a local map.

“I’ve got the helmet working again!”

“That’s great,” Jeremy said, “but it doesn’t matter.”

“What? Why?”

Michael looked out the back window and swore.

“We’re um… we’re being followed?”

Gavin followed his gaze and he took a moment to process what he was seeing.

A man ran down the road after them. He dodged between cars, skirted around motorbikes, and jumped over pedestrians. He was grinning, and held a pistol out in front of him.

He was also gaining on them.

“It’s the boot guy.” Gavin said. “And he’s _fast_.”

“Can you shut them down?” Ryan asked.

“Doing it right now.”

“I bet the other two aren’t that far behind.” Jack said. “Where can we go? Jeremy, where can we go?”

“There’s _nowhere to go_ , Jack.” Jeremy said gravely. “We’re being hunted by the ED-Garde. They’ll corner us, we’ll make a mistake, and then they’ll kill us. We had our chance, and I blew it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to break this chapter up into multiple parts so that I could get _something_ out, even if it's not my typical Very Long chapter. Once the whole thing's done I'll compress it back down into 9 chapters.


End file.
